As sparkly as unicorn poop.

It seems I have been nominated for three blogger awards by the ever kinky Deviant wench.

I have no idea if I won the last award: The Reader Appreciation Award. Probably unlikely as I do tend to ignore half the rules. But it is all in good fun and gives me an excuse to stroke my ego or talk about myself, which, apparently, I love to do.

So, the awards are as follows:

The Beautiful Blogger Award:

Naturally.

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award:

Again, Naturally.

And, The META Awesomest Blog Unicorn Award:

Who invents these things? I mean, I enjoy a bit of ponyplay as much as the next Mistress. But a pink, shiny unicorn-boy? He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.

Nevermind. Let us proceed to the rules.

1. Include the award logo(s) somewhere in your blog:
See Above. Much to my dismay.

2. Answer 10 questions you have about yourself / “Share 10 factoids that absolutely no one really needs to know about me, but which I am going to share anyway, because that’s how I roll”:
The entertaining part.

1. I actually own several cuddly toys. My favorite is a talking “Stitch” from Disneys “Lilo and Stitch” movie. He shouts out “MAKE ME A SANDWICH!”, so I often shake him at people to get him to shout it out instead of having to say it myself.
2. Every time my submissive (Benjamin) gets to play in the dungeon he always brings a packet of jelly sweets (I use them as treats if he takes the pain well or has been good). I tend to eat all the red ones myself and he has been wondering, for the past 8 months, why he never gets any red sweets in any of the packets.
3. I dislike being called a vampire and prefer the term “Demon” or “Demonic”. The last person to refer to me as “vampiric” ended up chained to a fence in the back yard of my dungeon, naked, while it was hailing. I am still in the firm belief that I was overly lenient.
4. I have an obsession with tea. I would take it intravenously if it would not be so detrimental to my health. (Milk, no sugar. Because I am sweet enough. If I get any sweeter, I will be out of a job.)
5. Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.
6. I enjoy confusing people by randomly switching between being sarcastic and being brutally honest.
7. I often ask myself stupid questions. Examples: “Why is it that my lemonade contains all kinds of artificial ingredients and my washing up liquid contains real lemons?” and “Toast always lands butter-side-down when it is dropped and a cat always lands on its feet, so what would happen if I buttered the back of a cat and threw it out of the upper story window?”. Luckily, I rarely say these things out loud.
8. I am a huge fan of science fiction (especially Star Wars and Mass Effect) and heavy metal music. You will never see that sentence written on this blog again.
9. I sometimes pretend to be mundane. However, I get bored of it rather quickly.
10. I dislike eating pears. It is not the kind of pressure I like to be under.

3. Nominate 10 to 12 blogs you enjoy. Or you pick the number:

It goes without saying that I will pick the number.

1. http://wereallmadinhere.wordpress.com/ (She has probably already been nominated, but I like her blog.)
2. http://thehourglass-nicole.blogspot.co.uk/ (Not a wordpress blog, but she is a friend and I enjoy the rants and raves of her stalker)
3. http://ramblingsofanaspiringwriter.wordpress.com/ (An entertaining read.)
4. http://rbholbrook.wordpress.com/ (His demon character makes me think of me if I were vanilla. I like it.)
5. http://jessicadee25.wordpress.com/(a friend)
6. http://mykinkylife.wordpress.com/ (a friend)

4. Pay the love forward: Provide your nominees links in your post and comment on their blogs to let them know they’ve been included and invited to participate:
How do I say this without sounding incredibly pompous, arrogant and sloth?

No.

5. Pay the love back with gratitude and a link to the blogger(s) who nominated you:
Deviant wench: Foul mouthed and penis obsessed.
However, she is also witty, funny, charismatic and a damn good read at times. I like her.