One of the things which I pride myself on is the fact that every BDSM activity that I partake in, everything that I inflict on others, is something that I have personally experienced the sensation of (with the exception of the obvious, e.g. penile sounding).
I have been canned, flogged, spanked, paddled, whipped, cut, electrocuted, tortured, skewered, burned, bloodied… The list is quite extensive.
My point is that, regardless of how sadistic I may be feeling at any given moment, I would never put anyone through something which I am not willing to go through myself (even briefly, just to see what it feels like).
In fact, it is through diverse experimentation like this that I have figured out that:
- I have a sliver of masochism. However, I am not truly masochistic (I do not derive physical pleasure or relief from pain, however I do understand it and I do consider it a bit fun on occasion if the mood and setting is complimentary, e.g. Touching nipple to nipple when using a violet wand body contact pad with the setting turned on full so you have the effect of sparks or lightning passing between the nipples).
- I am incredibly sadistic (I derive physical and intellectual pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on others. I have also discovered that part of what makes me better at inflicting pain is the fact that I study human anatomy/biology and that I personally experience and research each activity).
- I am naturally and instinctively far more dominant than submissive (I am also in the firm belief, through years of sociological D/s experiences and encounters, that everyone has at least a little of both in them; despite some Dominants claiming that they are 100% “everyone on the planet should kneel before me” dominant).
Call it an ethical judgement or personal morality if you like, but my main question is: Why is it that I do not see or hear more peoples stories of experiencing things themselves before inflicting things on others? Has that Dominant in the corner of the club experienced what they are putting that submissive through? Or am I, yet again, part of the minority in that I practice what I preach and inflict?
Responses to this post would be greatly appreciated. I am incredibly curious to know of other peoples stories and opinions on this matter.
I am very lucky. I am naturally very submissive, and Stephen likes to dominate. However, he wants me to do everything to him that he does to me, even if just once and briefly. We’re learning the D/s thing together, which helps but I think knowing that he’s experienced everything (that’s physically possible) that he does to me inspires my trust in him.
Sounds like you have a very caring play partner.
The learning is half the fun 😉
well hun as you know i am a dominant male but i am definitely not the kneel before me type as you put it. i proffer the suggestion that this attitude is born mainly from an insecurity of there abilities/skills, themselves. i like you would want to try everything i do once at least. that way i know what the pain/discomfort level or type is so i can use it in my session at an appropriate time. As for minorities i think you and i are in the minority not because we admit to being (even if only a teensy bit) switch. but more because we are brutally honest about our abilities and experiences. xx
That is a very good point. I had not thought of it in that light.