A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Why I love Facebook.

Recently, I have been spending a little more time on Facebook. Mainly due to running my fan page and the Kabunza fan page, but I have often found myself taking 15 minutes or so a day to scroll through the feed once I have finished updating my pages and even making a personal post or two about random things.

But there have been many things I have noticed about Facebook that can be severely damaging. I would appreciate anyone proving my current theories wrong, but these are my views on some of them to date:

WARNING: If you currently partake in the social media site known as “Facebook” and are easily offended, I would suggest you stop reading now, disregard this blog post entirely and go back to your blissfully ignorant life.

As long as you do not take things too seriously, you should be fine continuing.

  • The little fruit and gem games (or some other theme, but they all essentially lead to the same outcome) where you have so many tries to achieve a high enough score to get to the next level and when you run out of time you get prompted to pay cash for more time or for bonuses to help you get through the level you are on. I hope people realise that these are designed so that there is always a next level, there is never anything you can win or gain from playing them and they are designed to do nothing but waste your time and possibly extract money from your pocket. If you want to play a game, at least play something decent that is designed to be a visually and mentally pleasing experience or something that has some sort of story or plot. Facebook games are designed for stupid people and sending me invites to play them is quite fruitless (and insulting), the only thing it will achieve is my banning the game from my feed as well as blocking the person from ever sending me any more invites.
  • “KFC chicken abomination!”, “Real UFO sighting!”, “Lose 3 stone in 3 hours!”. Two words: “Ratings” and “Money”. By sharing and propagating this drivel not only are you showing the world how insanely stupid you truly are, but you are also giving other stupid people more beliefs to propagate themselves. This is one of the ways that religion is produced. Blind belief caused by consensus which often causes more damage than good when a large number of people get involved. The only intelligent people involved in these newsreel items are the people who started them, because at the end of the day they are the ones who profit and get what they want from it all: more ratings or money from your pocket. How do you think the Bible started before media was invented?
  • Do you honestly think a photo of your face without any makeup will save a anyone from Cancer? The last thing any cancer patient needs is a bunch of fighting-fit women having a quick hospice-chic makeover. My father started his chemotherapy a few months ago and I am sure, as he is lying there being pumped full of radioactive drugs, that you are not helping matters any by suggesting, with a “full-tressed selfie”, that you somehow share his pain. Just donate directly to the research charity or do something that is actually productive and more appropriate to raise funding, you idiot.
  • “If you like my status or comment on my status you must post one of the following on your status! (insert list of stupid comments here) and change your profile photo to that of a shaved orangutan! If you do not, someone close to you will DIE HORRIBLY and you will live out your remaining years as a recluse in some far off, third-world, poverty-stricken country!” – I would just like to make it clear to everyone doing these; Have none of you figured it out yet that I am clicking the like button purely because I know what you are doing and want to frustrate the crap out of you by not actually continuing the comments? Muahahahaha!

There are numerous other things about Facebook that I could rant on about, but you get the idea.

So, Why do I love Facebook?

Because it is my constant reminder that I am not a sheep that follows the herd and that I exercise enough intelligence to see past the majority of what pollutes the minds and beliefs of this age.

And if you have read up to this point, be aware that I am not calling anyone stupid. I understand that some people have more time on their hands than sense. But doing multiples of the above, and spending hours a day doing it, is questionable to say the least.

What I am saying is that people only need to sit back, watch and wait for those who genuinely are stupid to prove it themselves.

Patience is a virtue.

Don’t be a sheep.

Now go and change your Facebook profile photo to that of a shaved orangutan.


4 responses to “A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Why I love Facebook.

  1. I think these are all great points, but I would personally qualify the third one –
    #nomakeupselfies have raised to date, I think, about £8m. While just donating directly is much more sensible (and the route I would take), I doubt it would have spread as virally and had the same financial impact if it was just asking people to donate (maybe I’m wrong though!). It was silly, but effective at fundraising. (What exactly the link between the two things is though, no idea.)

    (Also, if I may be *that* person, it is ‘herd’, not ‘heard’.)

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