Quotations: 2014

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2014.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2013’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Friend:
“There was a young demon called Hawk,
Who thrilled when her toy couldn’t talk,
When its ass was aglow,
And its mouth formed an ‘O’,
She plugged up the hole with a cork.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You know it is going to be a good day when you have been saying ‘Clit’ for half an hour instead of ‘Clip'”.

Friend: “You wouldn’t want to eat a friend, would you?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Certainly not without pepper.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Those who say “there’s nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves” have never had ‘real’ tea.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Why is it that wherever I go, the resident idiot heads straight for me?”

Aemilia Hawk: “We all know how stupid the average person is. Now realise that, by definition, 50% of the population is dumber than that.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am one of those bad things that can happen to good people.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have noticed that most humans want to be good people. Just not ‘too’ good and not quite all the time.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I love dog’s but I often loath the people who keep them. They tend to be cowards who do not have the guts to bite people themselves.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Where have you been? You stink of mundane.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am totally fluffy.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am so BDSM that I even keep my atomiser behind bars.”

Friend: “Sugar?”
Aemilia Hawk: “No thank you, I am sweet enough. If I get any sweeter, I will be out of a job.”

Friend: “Wow, very tidy box tie. Where did you hide the rope join?”
Aemilia Hawk: “I magicked it away with pixie dust and a few random but occultly significant cusses.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike the title ‘rigger’. I once knew a guy called Rigger and he was an asshole. ‘Ropeist’ or perhaps ‘Bondageur’ sounds far better. Ropesse! I’m a Ropesse!”

Aemilia Hawk: “According to a popular fast food eatery, I can have My sub My way!”

Aemilia Hawk: ” Smile and the world smiles with you! Well mostly. Apparently. I have yet to experience this, so I really have no basis to go by.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have noticed that everyone on this planet can be placed in one of two categories: Those who create or those who procreate. Alas, it seems the latter is significantly higher in abundance.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You need to blend in with the mundanes to avoid being classed as ‘weird’.”
Friend: “Baaa, baaa, baaa.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Close enough.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Of course, the trouble with having such an open mind is that people continually try to come along and poke it.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Well, if I called the wrong number then why did you answer the phone?”

Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to lie, you could at least lie properly.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I love the smell of karma in the air!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Brains are awesome. I wish everyone had one.”