Quotations: 2015

I realise that my blog has had a lack of frequent posts for the past 4-6 months, but the past year has been both incredibly busy and stressful. I have full intentions of restarting my blog very soon.

In the meantime; I will start up this year as I have always started a new year here on my blog.

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2015.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011′ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012′ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2013′ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2014′ post: Here

Favourite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Aemilia Hawk: “I’m fluffy!”
Friend 1: “So are Polar Bears!”
Friend 2: “Fluffy like a snake.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am 99% angel. That last 1% just screws me over every time.”
Friend: “is that 99% angel the one that ‘sauntered vaguely downwards’?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Stauntered? Sauntered?!? It was a proud ‘trip’ I’ll have you know!”

Friend: “There is something worrying about a smiling demon.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Would this be a good ‘Muahahaha’ moment?”

Aemilia Hawk: ” I was trying desperately to remain polite by not vomiting on the pink floor. I succeeded. Despite wanting the colour change so badly.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I still wonder at how long it took them back in the 1930’s to figure out that shoving a violet wand in your eye is really not very good for it. At least the eyeball attachment has the perfect shape for nipples and has the added bonus of not causing blindness when used on them. At least, not in the receiver.”

Aemilia Hawk: ” I am so innocent that I make that fruit juice smoothie stuff look fattening! If I were any more innocent, I would be doing a ‘Puss in boots from Shrek’ impression!”
Friend 1: “You are hiding the fangs and everything! Valiant effort!”
Friend 2: “Asking you to spell ‘innocent’ would go something along the lines of ‘P-U-R-E-E-V-I-L’.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I don’t always wear my top hat. But when I do, I make it look nonchalantly awesome regardless of where I am or what I am doing.”

Friend: “Fangs for the mammaries!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Ohh, the punnery!”

Aemilia Hawk: “They said ‘Relinquish your weapons!’. Of course, none of the guns could shoot but they quickly learned that wooden flintlock replicas are superior to painted plastic toys in the ability to club.”

Aemilia Hawk: “When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons!”

Aemilia Hawk: “If you have enough passion for something, anything is possible.”

Aemilia Hawk: “The sadistic part of me is currently having an argument with the reasonable part of me. I think my sadistic side is winning.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I will build it! And it shall be named ‘Evil’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Or ‘Bob’. I haven’t decided yet.”

Aemilia Hawk: “A flogger named ‘Bob’, and so it begins. I built the first head, then ran out of rings…”

Friend: “I believe the Romans had something similar with hooks on the end and called it the ‘scorpion’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I could never build a flogger with hooks. You hit once with it then they run off with your toy!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Taarsidath-an halsaam!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Angels, Demons, were all from the same basic stock at the end of the day. It’s all just semantics!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Make tea, not war.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You had me at Wasabi.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You have been inspiring me to come up with completely new colourful insults.”

Friend: “You could put ‘Fifty Shades’ to shame.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I have still not seen that movie. I suffered enough when I subjected myself to the books. Self harm is really not my kink!”

Aemilia Hawk: “That ‘freshly cut grass’ smell you love so much is actually a chemical distress signal. And you enjoy it! You sadist!”

 

Quotations: 2014

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2014.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2013’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Friend:
“There was a young demon called Hawk,
Who thrilled when her toy couldn’t talk,
When its ass was aglow,
And its mouth formed an ‘O’,
She plugged up the hole with a cork.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You know it is going to be a good day when you have been saying ‘Clit’ for half an hour instead of ‘Clip'”.

Friend: “You wouldn’t want to eat a friend, would you?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Certainly not without pepper.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Those who say “there’s nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves” have never had ‘real’ tea.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Why is it that wherever I go, the resident idiot heads straight for me?”

Aemilia Hawk: “We all know how stupid the average person is. Now realise that, by definition, 50% of the population is dumber than that.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am one of those bad things that can happen to good people.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have noticed that most humans want to be good people. Just not ‘too’ good and not quite all the time.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I love dog’s but I often loath the people who keep them. They tend to be cowards who do not have the guts to bite people themselves.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Where have you been? You stink of mundane.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am totally fluffy.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am so BDSM that I even keep my atomiser behind bars.”

Friend: “Sugar?”
Aemilia Hawk: “No thank you, I am sweet enough. If I get any sweeter, I will be out of a job.”

Friend: “Wow, very tidy box tie. Where did you hide the rope join?”
Aemilia Hawk: “I magicked it away with pixie dust and a few random but occultly significant cusses.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike the title ‘rigger’. I once knew a guy called Rigger and he was an asshole. ‘Ropeist’ or perhaps ‘Bondageur’ sounds far better. Ropesse! I’m a Ropesse!”

Aemilia Hawk: “According to a popular fast food eatery, I can have My sub My way!”

Aemilia Hawk: ” Smile and the world smiles with you! Well mostly. Apparently. I have yet to experience this, so I really have no basis to go by.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have noticed that everyone on this planet can be placed in one of two categories: Those who create or those who procreate. Alas, it seems the latter is significantly higher in abundance.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You need to blend in with the mundanes to avoid being classed as ‘weird’.”
Friend: “Baaa, baaa, baaa.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Close enough.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Of course, the trouble with having such an open mind is that people continually try to come along and poke it.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Well, if I called the wrong number then why did you answer the phone?”

Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to lie, you could at least lie properly.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I love the smell of karma in the air!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Brains are awesome. I wish everyone had one.”

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: 10 things that do not impress me

1. Disrespect – Respect given is respect earned. Naturally.
2. Ignorance – “I can hear you and I know you are talking to me but I choose not to acknowledge you! You do not exist to me! Lalalalalala!” (being interrupted by random people during play, aftercare or when talking also come under this category)
3. Lousy liars – If you are going to lie, at least lie properly.
4. Thieves – Simple. If it is not yours, be it an idea, a photo, something material or even credit for an achievement or action: THEN IT IS NOT YOURS!
5. Cattle – “Follow! Follow! We know not what we are following! Wheeee!”
6. Being called a vampire – I am not a vampire! (see #1 and #2)
7. Drugs – A lousy excuse for having no imagination. Incredibly stupid when mixed with BDSM (overconsumption of alcohol being the most common I have seen).
8. Knowledgelessness (BDSM) – If you are going to be brutal, at least do the decent thing and get creative with it or do something that actually requires some element of knowledge and skill (this would also imply actually having the said knowledge and skill for the use of any tools involved, rather than just grabbing something and hoping that nothing is permanently damaged during its application). Get some learning. Take time to plan. Be consensual and safe. DO THE RESEARCH!
9. Trolls – Sad, pathetic and pitiable people who literally have nothing better or constructive to do than slander, criticise and argue online. “Get a life”.
10. The fact that I frequently hear and see all of the aforementioned far more than I care to.

Quotations: 2013

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2013.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Aemilia Hawk: “You know something is seriously wrong with your karma when you manage to poke yourself in the eye with a duvet while searching for a chainmail earring that somehow managed to get stuck down the back of the living room radiator.”

Aemilia Hawk: “People may not realise this, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, feigning interest in others, not being able to talk about BDSM as much as I want, putting up with everyday mundane stupidity. It is incredibly exhausting.”

Aemilia Hawk: “There is something about forcing a man up against a wall, shackling his arms and legs wide and forcing cold metal rods down his manhood that I find very erotic.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Ribbed for his pleasure.” (In reference to a sounding rod)

Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to be a smart-ass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you are just an ass.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You can tell a lot about my mood if you watch my extremities. For example; If my claws are pressed against your throat in a threatening fashion; I am probably annoyed… Or aroused… Or both.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have made it through the entire morning and only managed to insult two mundanes. I think my people skills are improving.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Quit being so facetious.”
Friend: “I do not know what ‘facetious’ means.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Do you know what ‘Google’ means?”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.”

Dentist: “You may feel a little discomfort.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am a sadomasochist, Sir. I think I have a pretty good idea of when something will inevitably ‘hurt like hell’.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You would be surprised at how fast people can run when they hear the crack of a Longeing Whip a few inches behind their head.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Appreciate what you have, because basically; I am awesome.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Pretty Pooky pleasantly pacificates pectorals, pandemian pallesethesia permitting.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Darth Vader hole invader?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Kin chasa du Jedi!”

Aemilia Hawk: “I suddenly have images in my head from the “Queen of the Damned” movie. Except with floggers and more blood.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, but set fire to him and he is warm for the rest of his life.”

Aemilia Hawk: “When I was a mundane, I spoke as a mundane, I understood as a mundane, I thought as a mundane: but when I became a kinkster, I put away ‘mundanish’ things.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Must you leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Clearly you are not yourself today. I noticed the improvement almost immediately.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Is the vegetarian option 100% real vegetarian? Why are you laughing?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Forged in the fires of Mount Kabunza, there were made rings of power! Fashioned with a secret formula now known only to the makers of hitty things, these fabulous rings gave their users untold powers! Originally, there were twenty in all: six for mastery of the female orgasm, five for rule over erection dysfunction, three for dominion over anyone shorter than 1ft (length, not height), two for the conquering of bad breath, one was lost down the back of a radiator and we can’t get it out, two were recalled for factory defects because they tended to short-circuit in the rain, and THE ONE RING… Which didn’t really do anything, but we kinda liked the way it looked. So they are now mass produced for our floggers.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I still get horrible flashbacks of a tall, grey, bearded guy, pointing a cane and what looks like a BD10 violet wand to the heavens and shouting “YOU SHALL NOT FLOG!” at me.”

Aemilia Hawk: “There are onesies in M&S. Society has finally crumbled.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I absolutely did NOT threaten to punch him. I threatened to spank him.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You need to laugh. Everyone does. What is life if you cannot moon it with a wink and a slightly crooked grin?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t fuck with my chi.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am not saying that you are stupid. I am simply saying that you have extremely bad luck when it comes to thinking.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Of course your opinion matters. Not to me, but I am sure we could find someone suitably empathetic. Have you tried posting it on Facebook?”

Aemilia Hawk: “I would like to apologise in advance for my behavior tonight.”

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Music review: Victor Sierra

I love nearly all forms of music, from classical to heavy punk rock, from new age to apocalyptic industrial; for me, it is usually a case of having a simple preference over their content and overall atmosphere.

In my opinion, music should play a large part of decent BDSM play. It is by no means mandatory, but it can spark emotion, mood and can heavily effect the direction of a scenario or of play as a whole.

My first of what will hopefully be many music reviews pertains to a Steampunk band hailing from Paris, France.

Victor Sierra:

It was late one evening when my partner handed to me a copy of Victor Sierra‘s album ‘Yesterday’s Tomorrow‘ and said “This would be good to flog to. You should write a review on them.”

She was right. A pleasant mix of Steampunk and Dieselpunk with a bass that will keep your strikes going at length; Victor Sierra has quickly become one of my current favourites for multiple forms of BDSM play; primarily flogging.

While the music is multilingual, including English, French, Spanish and even Yiddish, the style and aesthetics of each musical masterpiece is more than enough to keep you listening and moving to the beat regardless of understanding the lyrics.

Of course, it goes without saying that, for me, the fact that they are a distinctly Steampunk/Dieselpunk style band is an excellent added bonus. They have delicious ‘WWII era’ undertones and atmosphere.

There is one song which I particularly enjoy: ‘Imbéciles’ (Track number 9). However it is vocalised in french, so here are the original lyrics along with a rough translation into English (because I am helpful like that).

It does lose a few details in the translation, however I am going to attempt to do it anyway:

Original Lyrics:

IMBECILES

Le sourire géné de l’indésirable
se crispe et se fige en équilibre instable
Venus des palais et des caniveaux
les hyenes se déchainent et se font écho.

Aux premieres loges, observant la détresse,
le lampiste en blouse temporise et paresse.

Les meneurs menent et font hurler la foule
Alors que les coups pleuvent et que le sang coule
se forme le cercle des eternels cretins
aux carrieres naissantes, au potentiel certain.

Imbéciles… Un jour
Imbéciles… Le sont ils pour toujours?

L’indésirable au sourire effacé
se releve et rassemble son univers brisé
se débat seul contre l’effet de masse
sous les quolibets recherchant sa place

Avec le temps les carrieres s’épanouissent
se cultivent se transmettent de peres en fils

Translation into English:

IMBECILES

The uneasy smile of the undesirable
becomes nervous and fixes into a fragile balance
Hailing from palaces and slums alike
The hyenas rage, their howls echoing each other

on the front seat, observing the distress
the blouse wearing lampist plays for time and lazes around

the leaders lead and make the crowd roar
while blows rain down and blood is shed
the circle of the eternal idiots closes
with new born careers and certain futures

imbeciles… one day
imbeciles…are they like this forever?

the undesirable with a faded smile
gets up and gathers his broken universe
fighting alone under the influence of the masses
under the mockeries, seeking his place

with time, careers blossom
cultivated and transmitted from fathers to sons

To be honest I think my translation lacks a certain ‘cachet’ when compared to the French original.

Their latest album is available for purchase at http://victorsierra.bandcamp.com/ and you can check out their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/Victor.Sierra.band

This is a great band to listen to and one that I highly recommend as an accompaniment to your BDSM activities; especially any impact play.

All media posted with permission of Victor Sierra.
All media Copyright © 2013 VictorSierra. All Rights Reserved.

In true Holmes style

Blunt trauma to the right achilles. Force with the knee to open posture. First point of attack. Two: Quick claw to the left Rhomboid major muscle.  Pain to throw off balance and distract concentration. Three: Right forearm. Force flogger handle into carpus. Direct upwards and forward for optimal flogging stance. Left instinctively follows to retain balance. Four: Pelvic thrust to coccyx. Force forward. Five: Guttural vocalization to right ear. Instill fear.
Summary prognosis: Resistance deterred. Headspace initiated. Optimal stance achieved. Ready for a flogging.

Quotations: 2012

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2012.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Menial: “Please Mistress! Flog my back, my backside, anything! just not there! Please!”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do you realise how much skill it takes to hit a target that small? This is the best practice I have had in years.”

Menial: “Mistress, I love your teeth, please bite me.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I try to avoid junk food.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “What do you think?”
Friend: “Very nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Where there is a whip, there is a way.”

Menial: “what are your favourite colours, Mistress?”
Mistress Hawk: “Sable, Onyx, Ebony, Coal, Jet, Raven and I sometimes like Black as well.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am actually very good at appearing as though I am paying attention.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I will not recite the rules, but I expect them to be followed regardless.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “My mother said to me, ‘If you join the armed forces, you’ll be a general; if you become a priest, you’ll end up as the first female Pope. Instead, I became a Dominatrix and wound up here.”
Friend: “Though you would probably get more kinky sex if you were the pope.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Quite cramped. No room to swing a cat. Not that I swing cats. Or eat. Trying to cut down. Cholestero- Uhh, morals. I mean morals.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Even evil genius such as mine needs a day or two off on occasion.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not intentionally being funny. I am just instinctively cruel and people think that I am joking.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Politicians: More slippery than catfish in a jar of Vaseline.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra these days than on Alzheimer’s research. By the year 2040 all the elderly will have perky breasts or stiff erections but no idea why.”

Menial: “For some women it is flowers or chocolates or jewelry, What is the quickest route to your heart, Mistress?
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You cannot find a rout to what does not exist”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone has an opinion. Mine just matters more.”

Menial: “You know, Mistress, underneath it all, I think you are quite nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Repeat that disgraceful slander and I will make a stew out of your tongue.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A Mistress is never wrong. Even if they are.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Judging from personal experience, I am fairly certain that ‘pot pourri’ is french for ‘not crisps’.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone fantasises to escape their mundane lives. The difference is that in my line of work, I am the fantasy.”
Friend: “You must get some real perverts.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “If I am lucky.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Your skull, My urinal.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Be a darling and pop my tinny hymen for me.” (in reference to opening a can of ‘Pussy’ energy drink)

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike watching the news and for good reason. They begin by saying something along the lines of ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it is not.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I did not evolve my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Are you frightened?”
Menial: “Yes.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Not nearly frightened enough.”
Menial: “Lord of the rings quote?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “No, common sense when someone as sadistic as myself has you chained to a cross.”

Vanilla/Mundane: “Could I visit your dungeon?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Yes.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “What would happen if I did?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “That would depend on my mood.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “Would it hurt?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Probably.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You are twisted, perverted and sick. I like you.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do like to try everything once, and then once again, and then once again, and then once again.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t worry. It only seems kinky the first time.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I always try to provoke offence. It tends to make the mundane more interesting.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Pray that I never make a promise, for I shall always deliver on it.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Given my insatiable passion for hitting things with other things, it seemed appropriate”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so, of course; this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh. Give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and, 9 times out of 10, she will show you how to hit someone with it for money. Give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger, preferably someone that has a few years experience, and she will show you how to make it dance.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I hope you realise that I will need to punish you for worshiping a false deity.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do so love an audience.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Mine.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “For the love of everything kinky, use what little common sense it takes.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Attempting to imagine what they would have produced in the 1930’s if they had decided to create a violet wand to damage instead of heal has been the subject of recent wet dreams.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do try to avoid cringing when I smile.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go, With a whip and cane to distribute some pain, Hi ho, hi ho-hi ho-hi ho.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “4 teeth surgically removed, 3 of them wisdom. Disappointed. Many told me it was going to be excruciating. Frankly, Kinbaku is more painful.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “This Halloween was incredibly peaceful. Not a single trick or treat’er. When I talked to a neighbor this morning, she said it is because all of the children in the street are scared of the ‘demon lady’ and would not approach my door. I feel like all my years of hard work scaring the crap out of children on Halloween is finally complete.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You tremble, your nerves betray you and I can smell your scent on the breeze. You are oozing fear!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Personally, I like it rough.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do something constructive: Cut out your tongue.”

Nothing but truth.

In attendance to my local munch (Swindon’s friendly munch 18/07/12) I had stirred curiosity in a couple of the younger mundane locals. Casual conversation ensued with a visit to the taverns outside smoking area. As you do (or as most mundane smokers do, probably).

“You have until I finish my cigarette.” I said as I pulled out and lit a jet black slimline Djarum. “Whatever questions you have in mind, I promise you will receive nothing but truth.”

“May I ask some questions too?” The more vocal of the two queried.

“If you must.” I stated as I blew a plume of smoke in the direction of the quiet one. My eyes stayed on him regardless of who spoke for the duration of the conversation. The quiet ones usually end up being the more interesting.

“You are a Mistress?”
“Yes.”
“Could I visit your dungeon?”
“Yes.”
“What would happen if I did?”
“That would depend on my mood.”
“Would it hurt?”
“Probably.”
“Then why would I want to visit?”
“You will know the answer to that question if you ever decide to visit.”
“Why are you being so mysterious?”
“Perhaps you are just asking the wrong questions.”

There was a short pause as both mundanes looked in thought as to what to ask next.

“Any question at all.” I restated as I gestured casually to the quiet one. My cigarette had roughly reached its halfway point and I gently waved it in front of his face for emphasis. “Your time is running out.”

“I am trying to think of how to word it.” The quiet one said as he shifted shyly on the spot.
“Usually the best way to word something is to simply say it.” I stated with an amused smirk.

The vocal one spoke again.

“Your teeth look very sharp”
“Not as sharp as my claws.” I stated as I held up my empty hand so that he could get a decent look. My eyes were still fixed on the silent one and the slightly amused smirk still played at the corner of my mouth.

“Are they real?”
“Yes, though coated with acrylic resin for strength so that they are functional.”
“Functional for what?”
“What do you think?” I stated as I glanced at the vocal one for the first time since the conversation had started. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled with an open mouth. It seemed as though he was attempting to think of a witty retort but one never came. Instead, he looked to the floor, still smiling. “Time is up.” I said as I glanced back to the quiet one and exhaled the last plume of clove scented smoke.

“Why should I trust you?” The quiet one suddenly said as I flicked my cigarette end into the closest ashtray.
“I offer a safe and legal environment, a gentle introduction and everything is consensual.” I said as I passed him my business card and made my way back towards the bar area.

I stopped in the entrance arch and glanced back to see him looking at the number on my card. “Good question.” I stated with a slightly crooked grin.

Mistresses meanings.

Many people have commented on my distinctive use of words and I get asked on a regular basis what some of them mean. The most common queries being: menials, mundanes, vanilla and similar.

This blog post is a list of the most commonly queried words and their explanations. If I have missed out any which my readers would like explained, feel free to mention them in a comment attached to this post and I will elaborate with a reply.

Menial:

This is a generalised term I use instead of the title submissive, slave, servant, minion, inferior, bottom or human pet. I realise that some menials can get a little funny about whether they get classed as any of the aforementioned or not. Some submissives hate being classed as a slave and vice versa. So, my alternative classes all of the above into the single generalised term. I care little about what they wish to have as their title, as long as they know their station, A.K.A. beneath Me.

Mundane:

This is a title I use for people who are not a practitioner of BDSM, sadomasochism or any form of kink or fetish. These people are the everyday normals that cover this planet like ants over a slightly sucked cola cube. These are the people that wake up, go to work, return home, eat their food, watch several hours of television, go to bed and then restart the whole process the next day (with the exception of the odd night of binge drinking on the weekends because they have nothing better to do). Words I would also use to describe “the masses” would be: tedious, repetitive, commonplace, ordinary, uninteresting, socially conformist or boring. However, “mundane” comprises all of these words into one. I also believe it sounds less offensive. But this generalisation is not meant to imply that there are not individuals or interesting people amongst “the masses”, it is simply the level of consideration I give until those interesting individuals make themselves known.

Vanilla:

The most common flavor of ice cream. Similar to “mundane” in meaning but in reference to an action, place, object, person or anything that could be classed as common and/or not kinky. I have noticed this is the reference that most kinksters use when referring to normality or the ordinary in general.

Domme/Dom:

An abbreviation of “dominant”. A Mistress or Master. Domme tends to be female, Dom tends to be male.

Station:

Rank, standing or position within a hierarchy or society. Example: “I am a Mistress and my station is at the top, above everyone else. You are a submissive and your station is at the bottom.”

Tribute:

An acknowledgment of gratitude, respect or admiration in the form of a gift. However, in the case of a professional Mistress, the word “tribute” is also traditionally used in reference to the fee for the hire of their dungeon and services.

Scritch:

The act of gently running ones fingers or fingernails through the hair, behind the ears and over the head, neck and back of another person. A generally soft, attentive and loving touch. Often the kind of touch you would give to your dog, cat or pet.

Instinctively cruel.

The coffee shop was heaving with activity (see 1), I was relaxing on a cushioned seat of the armchair variety and nursing a double espresso (see 2) while watching the mundane world go by.
A friend of mine sat opposite and the discussion turned towards my sense of humor.
“Surely you have a hard time keeping a straight face when you are at play in the dungeon? I know that if I tried doing some of the things that you do, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from laughing.” She said with a cheeky smile.
“I doubt you would be laughing if you were the one in the cuffs and collar.” I said with a slightly crooked grin. “Besides, half of what I say or do, despite being hilarious to some, is not an attempt at humor on my part.”
“What do you mean?”
I gently pointed to and pushed my leather bag (see 3) with my heel a few significant inches into the coffee shop walkway.
It was not long before someone tripped.
The look of shock on the mundane’s face as he stumbled forward, bag handle tangling his feet, was probably the most entertaining from my perspective.
My friend stifled her laugh by placing her hand over her mouth.
“I am really sorry.” (see 4) he said as he handed my bag to me whilst brushing himself off and then rubbing one of his knees.
“Are you alright?” I said with a look of innocence (see 5) as I placed my handbag next to me on the seat.
“Just a little trip.” he said with a smile.
As he limped away my friend burst into laughter.
“My point exactly.” I stated before gesturing in her direction and talking a sip of my coffee.
“You’ve still not explained.” she said through laughter and gasping breaths.
“I thought it was obvious.” I said rather flatly. “I am not intentionally trying to be funny. I am just instinctively cruel and people think that I am joking.”  (see 6).

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1) I know I never mention names on this blog unless I am explaining, plugging or ranting about a specific business, but let us just say that this particular coffee shop name begins with a bright celestial body and ends with a slang term for multiple American dollars.
2) I take my coffee black as night and sweet as sin.
3) Containing my cigarettes, business card case and numerous other bits and pieces. Definitely a decent enough obstacle in my opinion.
4) I am in the firm belief that the aim of most British mundanes is to be the one that apologises first. Regardless of fault. Which is a good thing considering I never would, despite being British.
5) I should have attempted a career in acting.
6) This comment, said in the tone that I had said it, only seemed to make her laugh more.