A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: “Catch up”

So, I guess I really need to play “catch up” before I start seriously writing posts again.

I will start by giving everyone the results of the 15000ft freefall parachute jump that I did for charity. If you have not already seen it on my Youtube channel, here is the video footage taken by the awesome people over at Skydivebuzz.

Let me apologise for having such a screwed up face during the interview parts of the video. It was a combination of too much light and the holding back of a lot of emotions.

A huge thank you to all the groovy people out there who helped me raise a whopping £772 for HospisCare for cancer patients and a huge thank you to everyone over at Skydivebuzz for everything you did that day. You are all very awesome people.

You can read the original post here if you do not know the whole story of why I did this:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/02/hawk-flies-for-hospis/

I will be posting more “catch up” updates soon. Watch this space.

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Quotations: 2015

I realise that my blog has had a lack of frequent posts for the past 4-6 months, but the past year has been both incredibly busy and stressful. I have full intentions of restarting my blog very soon.

In the meantime; I will start up this year as I have always started a new year here on my blog.

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2015.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011′ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012′ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2013′ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2014′ post: Here

Favourite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

Aemilia Hawk: “I’m fluffy!”
Friend 1: “So are Polar Bears!”
Friend 2: “Fluffy like a snake.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am 99% angel. That last 1% just screws me over every time.”
Friend: “is that 99% angel the one that ‘sauntered vaguely downwards’?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Stauntered? Sauntered?!? It was a proud ‘trip’ I’ll have you know!”

Friend: “There is something worrying about a smiling demon.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Would this be a good ‘Muahahaha’ moment?”

Aemilia Hawk: ” I was trying desperately to remain polite by not vomiting on the pink floor. I succeeded. Despite wanting the colour change so badly.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I still wonder at how long it took them back in the 1930’s to figure out that shoving a violet wand in your eye is really not very good for it. At least the eyeball attachment has the perfect shape for nipples and has the added bonus of not causing blindness when used on them. At least, not in the receiver.”

Aemilia Hawk: ” I am so innocent that I make that fruit juice smoothie stuff look fattening! If I were any more innocent, I would be doing a ‘Puss in boots from Shrek’ impression!”
Friend 1: “You are hiding the fangs and everything! Valiant effort!”
Friend 2: “Asking you to spell ‘innocent’ would go something along the lines of ‘P-U-R-E-E-V-I-L’.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I don’t always wear my top hat. But when I do, I make it look nonchalantly awesome regardless of where I am or what I am doing.”

Friend: “Fangs for the mammaries!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Ohh, the punnery!”

Aemilia Hawk: “They said ‘Relinquish your weapons!’. Of course, none of the guns could shoot but they quickly learned that wooden flintlock replicas are superior to painted plastic toys in the ability to club.”

Aemilia Hawk: “When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons!”

Aemilia Hawk: “If you have enough passion for something, anything is possible.”

Aemilia Hawk: “The sadistic part of me is currently having an argument with the reasonable part of me. I think my sadistic side is winning.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I will build it! And it shall be named ‘Evil’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Or ‘Bob’. I haven’t decided yet.”

Aemilia Hawk: “A flogger named ‘Bob’, and so it begins. I built the first head, then ran out of rings…”

Friend: “I believe the Romans had something similar with hooks on the end and called it the ‘scorpion’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I could never build a flogger with hooks. You hit once with it then they run off with your toy!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Taarsidath-an halsaam!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Angels, Demons, were all from the same basic stock at the end of the day. It’s all just semantics!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Make tea, not war.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You had me at Wasabi.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You have been inspiring me to come up with completely new colourful insults.”

Friend: “You could put ‘Fifty Shades’ to shame.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I have still not seen that movie. I suffered enough when I subjected myself to the books. Self harm is really not my kink!”

Aemilia Hawk: “That ‘freshly cut grass’ smell you love so much is actually a chemical distress signal. And you enjoy it! You sadist!”

 

Hawk flies for Hospis

As many people may be aware from one of my previous posts, my father was suffering from terminal cancer. Sadly, he recently passed away.

It has taken me a while to be able to stomach writing about it here on my blog.

My father was a paratrooper in his youth and when he retired he continued to jump for recreation. He was still skydiving at 71 years old.

When he found out he had terminal cancer, one of his goals was to attain some sort of skydiving license at 300 jumps. He trudged through the pain and sickness with an insanely positive outlook in an attempt to achieve his goal. So much so, that he attracted the attention of local papers, a radio station and was even videoed as an encouraging example for patients suffering from cancer.

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He passed away 4 jumps short of reaching his goal.

To this end, myself and 3 other members of my family have agreed to do the last jumps for him.

It should come as no surprise that I have chosen Hospis Care for cancer patients as my chosen charity to collect for. They were the people who looked after my father in his final weeks and I saw first hand the marvellous work they do.

You can sponsor me for this jump at any of the events at which I am showing face over the next month. The sponsor forms and details are brought with me to every event Kabunza or I attend.

Alternatively, you can donate online at: https://www.justgiving.com/Aemilia-Hawk

I have already been asked if the jump will be filmed and I plan to pay the extra to make it happen. Hopefully the jump I do for my Dad will be up on Youtube not long after completion.

Let me thank everyone in advance who plan on donating. It is an incredibly worthy charity.

The date for the jump is the 19th August 2015. Weather permitting.

Wish me luck.

Quotations: 2014

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2014.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2013’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

Friend:
“There was a young demon called Hawk,
Who thrilled when her toy couldn’t talk,
When its ass was aglow,
And its mouth formed an ‘O’,
She plugged up the hole with a cork.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You know it is going to be a good day when you have been saying ‘Clit’ for half an hour instead of ‘Clip'”.

Friend: “You wouldn’t want to eat a friend, would you?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Certainly not without pepper.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Those who say “there’s nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves” have never had ‘real’ tea.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Why is it that wherever I go, the resident idiot heads straight for me?”

Aemilia Hawk: “We all know how stupid the average person is. Now realise that, by definition, 50% of the population is dumber than that.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am one of those bad things that can happen to good people.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have noticed that most humans want to be good people. Just not ‘too’ good and not quite all the time.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I love dog’s but I often loath the people who keep them. They tend to be cowards who do not have the guts to bite people themselves.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Where have you been? You stink of mundane.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am totally fluffy.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am so BDSM that I even keep my atomiser behind bars.”

Friend: “Sugar?”
Aemilia Hawk: “No thank you, I am sweet enough. If I get any sweeter, I will be out of a job.”

Friend: “Wow, very tidy box tie. Where did you hide the rope join?”
Aemilia Hawk: “I magicked it away with pixie dust and a few random but occultly significant cusses.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike the title ‘rigger’. I once knew a guy called Rigger and he was an asshole. ‘Ropeist’ or perhaps ‘Bondageur’ sounds far better. Ropesse! I’m a Ropesse!”

Aemilia Hawk: “According to a popular fast food eatery, I can have My sub My way!”

Aemilia Hawk: ” Smile and the world smiles with you! Well mostly. Apparently. I have yet to experience this, so I really have no basis to go by.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have noticed that everyone on this planet can be placed in one of two categories: Those who create or those who procreate. Alas, it seems the latter is significantly higher in abundance.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You need to blend in with the mundanes to avoid being classed as ‘weird’.”
Friend: “Baaa, baaa, baaa.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Close enough.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Of course, the trouble with having such an open mind is that people continually try to come along and poke it.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Well, if I called the wrong number then why did you answer the phone?”

Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to lie, you could at least lie properly.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I love the smell of karma in the air!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Brains are awesome. I wish everyone had one.”

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Update 13/08/14

The summer months have been very busy. Workshops, demonstrations, Kabunza. In fact “busy” is quite an understatement. But as Winter nears, I will be getting more time to continue my blog musings and get back into writing again.

To give you an idea of what to expect in the way of content, I have made a short list of the things I plan to write about first:

  1. Rope. Lots of rope. So much rope that your eyes might get friction burns!
  2. Flogging and Dragon tails. I actually managed to get some nice photos of a casual play at an event along with some photos from a couple of workshops. Expect to see writings on a few techniques.
  3. Kabunza bullwhips and chainmail nipple clamps. Need I say more?
  4. Kinkfest UK! And the part I played in one of my favorite events of the year. Along with a review.
  5. Chocolate pussy moulds. Yes, I said “Chocolate pussy moulds”. Plus inventive ways to incorporate them into BDSM play.

And much much more. Now all I need is the time to sit down and write about it all.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Update 09/06/14

My blog has been going through a little neglect as of late due to life being incredibly busy.

Kabunza has moved into its own offices and we are trying to get everything up and running while also trying to keep the business stocked with lots of groovy creations (a Kabunza bullwhip being one of the things currently being tested), I have been going through some serious Japanese rope bondage tuition, a lot of events (many of which I am doing workshops or demonstrations at. See my Events page for listed ones near you), discussions and meetings about possible future photoshoots and talking at BDSM conferences, and this is to name but a few of the things on my list.

But, rest assured, I will be writing blog posts about everything I can as soon as I get some free time to do so!

In the meantime; watch this space, keep safe and stay kinky 😉

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Why I love Facebook.

Recently, I have been spending a little more time on Facebook. Mainly due to running my fan page and the Kabunza fan page, but I have often found myself taking 15 minutes or so a day to scroll through the feed once I have finished updating my pages and even making a personal post or two about random things.

But there have been many things I have noticed about Facebook that can be severely damaging. I would appreciate anyone proving my current theories wrong, but these are my views on some of them to date:

WARNING: If you currently partake in the social media site known as “Facebook” and are easily offended, I would suggest you stop reading now, disregard this blog post entirely and go back to your blissfully ignorant life.

As long as you do not take things too seriously, you should be fine continuing.

  • The little fruit and gem games (or some other theme, but they all essentially lead to the same outcome) where you have so many tries to achieve a high enough score to get to the next level and when you run out of time you get prompted to pay cash for more time or for bonuses to help you get through the level you are on. I hope people realise that these are designed so that there is always a next level, there is never anything you can win or gain from playing them and they are designed to do nothing but waste your time and possibly extract money from your pocket. If you want to play a game, at least play something decent that is designed to be a visually and mentally pleasing experience or something that has some sort of story or plot. Facebook games are designed for stupid people and sending me invites to play them is quite fruitless (and insulting), the only thing it will achieve is my banning the game from my feed as well as blocking the person from ever sending me any more invites.
  • “KFC chicken abomination!”, “Real UFO sighting!”, “Lose 3 stone in 3 hours!”. Two words: “Ratings” and “Money”. By sharing and propagating this drivel not only are you showing the world how insanely stupid you truly are, but you are also giving other stupid people more beliefs to propagate themselves. This is one of the ways that religion is produced. Blind belief caused by consensus which often causes more damage than good when a large number of people get involved. The only intelligent people involved in these newsreel items are the people who started them, because at the end of the day they are the ones who profit and get what they want from it all: more ratings or money from your pocket. How do you think the Bible started before media was invented?
  • Do you honestly think a photo of your face without any makeup will save a anyone from Cancer? The last thing any cancer patient needs is a bunch of fighting-fit women having a quick hospice-chic makeover. My father started his chemotherapy a few months ago and I am sure, as he is lying there being pumped full of radioactive drugs, that you are not helping matters any by suggesting, with a “full-tressed selfie”, that you somehow share his pain. Just donate directly to the research charity or do something that is actually productive and more appropriate to raise funding, you idiot.
  • “If you like my status or comment on my status you must post one of the following on your status! (insert list of stupid comments here) and change your profile photo to that of a shaved orangutan! If you do not, someone close to you will DIE HORRIBLY and you will live out your remaining years as a recluse in some far off, third-world, poverty-stricken country!” – I would just like to make it clear to everyone doing these; Have none of you figured it out yet that I am clicking the like button purely because I know what you are doing and want to frustrate the crap out of you by not actually continuing the comments? Muahahahaha!

There are numerous other things about Facebook that I could rant on about, but you get the idea.

So, Why do I love Facebook?

Because it is my constant reminder that I am not a sheep that follows the herd and that I exercise enough intelligence to see past the majority of what pollutes the minds and beliefs of this age.

And if you have read up to this point, be aware that I am not calling anyone stupid. I understand that some people have more time on their hands than sense. But doing multiples of the above, and spending hours a day doing it, is questionable to say the least.

What I am saying is that people only need to sit back, watch and wait for those who genuinely are stupid to prove it themselves.

Patience is a virtue.

Don’t be a sheep.

Now go and change your Facebook profile photo to that of a shaved orangutan.