Quotations: 2013

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2013.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Aemilia Hawk: “You know something is seriously wrong with your karma when you manage to poke yourself in the eye with a duvet while searching for a chainmail earring that somehow managed to get stuck down the back of the living room radiator.”

Aemilia Hawk: “People may not realise this, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, feigning interest in others, not being able to talk about BDSM as much as I want, putting up with everyday mundane stupidity. It is incredibly exhausting.”

Aemilia Hawk: “There is something about forcing a man up against a wall, shackling his arms and legs wide and forcing cold metal rods down his manhood that I find very erotic.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Ribbed for his pleasure.” (In reference to a sounding rod)

Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to be a smart-ass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you are just an ass.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You can tell a lot about my mood if you watch my extremities. For example; If my claws are pressed against your throat in a threatening fashion; I am probably annoyed… Or aroused… Or both.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have made it through the entire morning and only managed to insult two mundanes. I think my people skills are improving.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Quit being so facetious.”
Friend: “I do not know what ‘facetious’ means.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Do you know what ‘Google’ means?”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.”

Dentist: “You may feel a little discomfort.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am a sadomasochist, Sir. I think I have a pretty good idea of when something will inevitably ‘hurt like hell’.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You would be surprised at how fast people can run when they hear the crack of a Longeing Whip a few inches behind their head.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Appreciate what you have, because basically; I am awesome.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Pretty Pooky pleasantly pacificates pectorals, pandemian pallesethesia permitting.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Darth Vader hole invader?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Kin chasa du Jedi!”

Aemilia Hawk: “I suddenly have images in my head from the “Queen of the Damned” movie. Except with floggers and more blood.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, but set fire to him and he is warm for the rest of his life.”

Aemilia Hawk: “When I was a mundane, I spoke as a mundane, I understood as a mundane, I thought as a mundane: but when I became a kinkster, I put away ‘mundanish’ things.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Must you leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Clearly you are not yourself today. I noticed the improvement almost immediately.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Is the vegetarian option 100% real vegetarian? Why are you laughing?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Forged in the fires of Mount Kabunza, there were made rings of power! Fashioned with a secret formula now known only to the makers of hitty things, these fabulous rings gave their users untold powers! Originally, there were twenty in all: six for mastery of the female orgasm, five for rule over erection dysfunction, three for dominion over anyone shorter than 1ft (length, not height), two for the conquering of bad breath, one was lost down the back of a radiator and we can’t get it out, two were recalled for factory defects because they tended to short-circuit in the rain, and THE ONE RING… Which didn’t really do anything, but we kinda liked the way it looked. So they are now mass produced for our floggers.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I still get horrible flashbacks of a tall, grey, bearded guy, pointing a cane and what looks like a BD10 violet wand to the heavens and shouting “YOU SHALL NOT FLOG!” at me.”

Aemilia Hawk: “There are onesies in M&S. Society has finally crumbled.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I absolutely did NOT threaten to punch him. I threatened to spank him.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You need to laugh. Everyone does. What is life if you cannot moon it with a wink and a slightly crooked grin?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t fuck with my chi.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am not saying that you are stupid. I am simply saying that you have extremely bad luck when it comes to thinking.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Of course your opinion matters. Not to me, but I am sure we could find someone suitably empathetic. Have you tried posting it on Facebook?”

Aemilia Hawk: “I would like to apologise in advance for my behavior tonight.”

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A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Fruit flies like a banana

When I started this blog on the 22nd November 2011, I never expected much from it. I had never been much of a ‘blogger’ and most of what I was doing back then remained invisible to anyone outside of my circle.

They say “Time flies like an arrow” (and “fruit flies like a banana”) and indeed it has; this past year (and a bit) has pretty much been a whirlwind farrago of kink.

In fact, the kink has been such a distraction that I had forgotten to create this post back in the November of 2012.

So here it is! Enjoy these moments when they happen because they do not happen often and it is better late than never.

I wish to send out heartfelt thankyou’s:

Firstly to my blog followers: 161 to date and steadily growing. You people are the lifeblood of this little nook of the web. Without you all, this place would die a pitiful death rather quickly. Thankyou for helping me to realise that doing this blog is not (and has not been) a waste of effort (and if you are not a follower, Why the hell not?).

To those who have commented on this blog: Comment and critique is always welcomed and appreciated. These are the things which offer possibilities to learn, grow, feel appreciated and even meet new acquaintances. Thankyou for having the courtesy to comment or the ‘balls’ to critique.

To those who have clicked the ‘Like’ button on any of my posts: It takes a matter of a second to click that button, and every time it is clicked I know that my efforts are being enjoyed by someone, somewhere on this wretched cesspool of a planet that we live on; Which is one of the reasons for doing this blog in the first place (I also get a warm fuzzy feeling every time I get that little resounding ‘ding’ that says someone has clicked the button. Think of clicking that button as flicking a nipple; it gives a wonderful, though short lived, little buzz of sensation which is highly addictive).

To those who have signed up to my Facebook fan page or following my Twitter by using the links through this blog: I am still (very slowly) starting to realise that for a lot of people, Facebook or Twitter are the only online social networks that they will ever choose to participate in. These social network sites would probably get more of my attention if I had more of a following on them or if they were not so mundane. It is a way to follow this blog without actually ‘following’ this blog, but it is still appreciated. I will do my best to make visits to these profiles more frequently, but in the meantime; thanks for the love.

To my partner: Who convinced me to start this thing in the first place. Love you baby. x

To my Benjamin: Without his help, support and encouragement, a very large portion of what has been written this past year would not have been written. It takes two to play and I am very lucky in that respect. Thankyou my sweet sweet Benjamin.

So, in summary: I plan to make this next years allotment of postings as entertaining as the last (moreso when possible) and hopefully I will get posts out on time in the future.

Quotations: 2012

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2012.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

Menial: “Please Mistress! Flog my back, my backside, anything! just not there! Please!”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do you realise how much skill it takes to hit a target that small? This is the best practice I have had in years.”

Menial: “Mistress, I love your teeth, please bite me.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I try to avoid junk food.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “What do you think?”
Friend: “Very nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Where there is a whip, there is a way.”

Menial: “what are your favourite colours, Mistress?”
Mistress Hawk: “Sable, Onyx, Ebony, Coal, Jet, Raven and I sometimes like Black as well.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am actually very good at appearing as though I am paying attention.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I will not recite the rules, but I expect them to be followed regardless.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “My mother said to me, ‘If you join the armed forces, you’ll be a general; if you become a priest, you’ll end up as the first female Pope. Instead, I became a Dominatrix and wound up here.”
Friend: “Though you would probably get more kinky sex if you were the pope.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Quite cramped. No room to swing a cat. Not that I swing cats. Or eat. Trying to cut down. Cholestero- Uhh, morals. I mean morals.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Even evil genius such as mine needs a day or two off on occasion.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not intentionally being funny. I am just instinctively cruel and people think that I am joking.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Politicians: More slippery than catfish in a jar of Vaseline.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra these days than on Alzheimer’s research. By the year 2040 all the elderly will have perky breasts or stiff erections but no idea why.”

Menial: “For some women it is flowers or chocolates or jewelry, What is the quickest route to your heart, Mistress?
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You cannot find a rout to what does not exist”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone has an opinion. Mine just matters more.”

Menial: “You know, Mistress, underneath it all, I think you are quite nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Repeat that disgraceful slander and I will make a stew out of your tongue.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A Mistress is never wrong. Even if they are.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Judging from personal experience, I am fairly certain that ‘pot pourri’ is french for ‘not crisps’.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone fantasises to escape their mundane lives. The difference is that in my line of work, I am the fantasy.”
Friend: “You must get some real perverts.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “If I am lucky.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Your skull, My urinal.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Be a darling and pop my tinny hymen for me.” (in reference to opening a can of ‘Pussy’ energy drink)

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike watching the news and for good reason. They begin by saying something along the lines of ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it is not.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I did not evolve my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Are you frightened?”
Menial: “Yes.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Not nearly frightened enough.”
Menial: “Lord of the rings quote?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “No, common sense when someone as sadistic as myself has you chained to a cross.”

Vanilla/Mundane: “Could I visit your dungeon?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Yes.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “What would happen if I did?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “That would depend on my mood.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “Would it hurt?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Probably.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You are twisted, perverted and sick. I like you.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do like to try everything once, and then once again, and then once again, and then once again.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t worry. It only seems kinky the first time.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I always try to provoke offence. It tends to make the mundane more interesting.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Pray that I never make a promise, for I shall always deliver on it.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Given my insatiable passion for hitting things with other things, it seemed appropriate”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so, of course; this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh. Give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and, 9 times out of 10, she will show you how to hit someone with it for money. Give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger, preferably someone that has a few years experience, and she will show you how to make it dance.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I hope you realise that I will need to punish you for worshiping a false deity.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do so love an audience.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Mine.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “For the love of everything kinky, use what little common sense it takes.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Attempting to imagine what they would have produced in the 1930’s if they had decided to create a violet wand to damage instead of heal has been the subject of recent wet dreams.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do try to avoid cringing when I smile.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go, With a whip and cane to distribute some pain, Hi ho, hi ho-hi ho-hi ho.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “4 teeth surgically removed, 3 of them wisdom. Disappointed. Many told me it was going to be excruciating. Frankly, Kinbaku is more painful.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “This Halloween was incredibly peaceful. Not a single trick or treat’er. When I talked to a neighbor this morning, she said it is because all of the children in the street are scared of the ‘demon lady’ and would not approach my door. I feel like all my years of hard work scaring the crap out of children on Halloween is finally complete.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You tremble, your nerves betray you and I can smell your scent on the breeze. You are oozing fear!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Personally, I like it rough.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do something constructive: Cut out your tongue.”