Kabunza @ The London Fetish Fair

I tie.

A common misconception seems to be that because I tend to get tied up, I do not tie.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

All of the rope workshops and tuition that I have attended with Benjamin have been learning experiences for me as well. I simply choose to avoid having my rope photographed in abundance.

Eventually, when I feel as though my skill level has developed to a decent point, things may change and I may end up having photos or videos done every time I tie, but for the moment I am happy honing my skills on willing friends (I tend to prefer tying girls) and having fun.

My new rope. Soaked in the blood of my victims.

I have two sets of rope. My newest set, purchased from and treated by Benjamin, consists of eight 8.4m lengths of 5mm Tossa Jute which have been dyed blood red.

Benjamin has started up a small business treating and selling premium asanawa jute and you can check out his new site at: http://shibaribybenjamin.wordpress.com/

The other (my first set of ropes) is a very special set of eight 9m lengths of 6mm single ply Jute, imported from Japan, that Benjamin gave to me as a gift last year. I will now be keeping this set for special occasions.

My special Japanese jute.

So, yes. I tie.
😉

And in all likelihood, I will have some photos of my ropework here on my blog eventually.

Floggalicious

If anyone has been following Kabunza on Fetlife or Kabunza on Facebook, it would be apparent that I recently designed and built my first sets of chainmail poi floggers.

I decided to promote their introduction and release at the Bristol SWAMP on the 12th May and due to the fact that I only had enough leather to make 6 in total and the fact that I would never be getting any more of that type of leather; I released them as a limited edition.

2 days before the event, I advertised that we would only be selling them at that specific event to see how people would react to the design, look and concept.

To say that I am surprised by peoples reaction to them is an understatement. 4 of the 6 had sold within the first hour of opening our trade stand, they had all sold by the end of the market day and in case any had not; I had a backup of emails and messages from people requesting to purchase them if they did not sell at the event (so, even if all of them had not sold at the market, they would have been sold regardless).

It was also a pleasure to give one purchaser a few lessons at the afterparty on how to use them effectively.

Due to such a positive response, I have decided to look into making more and building permanent designs (as well as a few limited edition and unique floggers). I have also decided to take a month (or so) as time off from residential professional Domination to concentrate on getting this new part of Kabunza up and running (I will still be available for sessions, but it will be by appointment only or on the occasional day that I decide to visit my Bristol Dungeon. Watch my twitter feed for tweets on when those occasional days will be).

Concept & Design: Demonic cloven hoof / knee-high boot hybrid

One of the skills required to be a successful Dominatrix is imagination. Without being able to dream up scenarios, tortures, temptations and other sinful activities, a Dominant would not get very far at all. A moderate to high level of wit is a prerequisite to be competent in this kind of lifestyle or profession.

Even with my business: Kabunza, I dream up concepts and creation ideas on a daily basis to be crafted in our workshop.

Back in 2009, I came up with a design for creating a demonic cloven hoof/knee-high boot hybrid. My aim was to add to my already demonic looking persona by extending these features into my clothing. The majority of my clothing was already custom created and I have always preferred deviating as far from the mundane as possible, so this kind of eccentricity in clothing did not seem odd to me at all. I would still wear these if I could ever find someone to make them for me. I also realise the possible ponyplay applications of such footwear, but that is beside the point.

In 2010 one of my very talented artist friends came to live with me for a while, and it was during the course of her stay that we managed to sit down in front of her computer to create a visual representation of my concept. Her name is Linda Jones (formerly Linda Pitman) of www.sheblackdragon.com.

One night, after many glasses of a rather vulgar sweet brandy, we had the basic concept sketches saved to file (which managed to take up about 6 hours of an evening because of the alcohol fueled, sidetracking anecdotes and titllating conversation). We unsteadily motioned to bed at around 4 in the morning with vows to finish up the artwork on the following day, and sure enough, as expected, the next morning we spent a further 3 hours in front of the computer screen finishing up the design art; such is the pace at which we meandered during the course of the 6 month period that she lived with me.

So, because I have recently stumbled across the design amongst my archived files and photos, and because a lot of heart went into the artwork and concept (as well as a lot of expensive brandy), I have decided to publish the design to blog in the hope that one day someone skilled enough might build me a pair.

I will explain in detail each part of the concept: fitting, materials, design etc. But please be aware that I have never been a shoemaker or cobbler, so while I am fairly certain that the design would work and work well, it may still need tweaking in the material options or physical creation side of things.

The images have been watermarked for copyright but they should not get in the way of showing off the design.

Let us start at the base and work our way up to the finished concept. These two images below show the hoof cast part of the construction. The first is what the hoof cast would look like as the foot is slipped inside it and the second is a cut section showing where the foot fits inside the cast.

Basically what is needed is the base of a standard high heel boot (or shoe) with the heel removed and any material from the ankle upwards removed (an inner shoe). The hoof would be cast around this using acrylics or resin. Support is given to the heel using the same materials and would also create the main bulk of the hoof. The space between the outer hoof and the inner shoe would be filled tightly.

The outer hoof needs to be made from a hard material, but a softer and more comfortable material would be better for filling the gap between the outer hoof and the inner shoe. A silicone rubber or something similar would probably be optimal. It needs to be softer but also durable, heavy and quite solid to avoid the foot moving or rubbing on the inside the hoof. The space between the inner shoe and hoof would need to be filled completely and would likely need to be a tight fitting.

The base of the hoof would need a rubber plate or grip to make sure that when walking on a smooth surface such as concrete or hardwood floor, the wearer would keep their footing. Without any grip a person would end up slipping and tripping all over the place (please see the last image in this blog for a diagram of underneath the hoof and what the grip should look like in my opinion).

As you can see from the cut section image, the hoof resin would support the heel quite solidly when combined with the sole of a high heel. However, should more support be needed then a thin metal plate could be shaped and placed between the hoof resin and inner shoe for a stronger support.

Next we look at the leather sleeve.

The leather sleeve is essentially the upper part (from ankle to knee) of a standard pair of knee high boots with added leather to accommodate the ankles, the heel and to overlap a small portion of the hooves. This upper boot is sewn/attached directly to the foot opening of the hoof resin, roughly where you can see the dashes in the image signifying stitching. A small overlap of leather is then left to flap over the hoof so that the stitching is hidden. This gives the appearance of the hoof being more realistic.

Like any pair of knee high boots there will be a zip on the inside of the leg for ease of wearing and removing. The laces and buckles have a purely aesthetic value and would have nothing to do with the functioning of the finished item.

In this last image we see the design from a slight angle as well as the underside of the hoof to show off the grip.

If anyone can help me in the construction of this item, please let me know as I would be very eager to see my design made real. If you wish to use an image or create this design for your own purposes, in part or in whole, please ask. We will most likely be happy to condone it as long as we are fully aware of where and why.

Design and Concept ©2010 Aemilia Hawk. All rights reserved.
Artwork ©2010 Linda M Jones. All rights reserved.

Swamping the market

The Chrismas and New Year has brought about a lot of resolutions (of a sort) for me and mine, some of which pertain to my little business: Kabunza.

Sunday 13th January brings with it the reopening of SWAMP (South West Alternative Market & Party) in Bristol, where I will be attending and hosting a Kabunza trade stand (sort of hosting, as I have no doubt I will wander off to socialise while my partner runs the stand for me).

This blog post is basically an invitation to come along and view our current wares as well as a little teaser for our latest creations:

As many of you will know, I have incredibly high standards; Ergo, when something is created for my business, it needs to be perfect.

The latest of our Kabunza products have been created with the Dominants in mind: Chainmail jewellery (which can have pendants etc added on request) to match the collars and restraints worn by their submissives or play partners.

While there are three materials from which we normally create our collars and cuffs (Stainless steel, Brass and Bronze), the most popular is what we call ‘302 stainless steel’. Using this material tends to make our BDSM creations extremely tough, ductile and corrosion resistant; Meaning you can lock on a collar and it will never need to come off, even in the bath or shower.

Recently we have acquired a softer form of stainless steel, and while it is still quite tough and still corrosion resistant, it would not stand up to some of the violent pressures that I would expect one of our BDSM creations to stand up to.

To this end we decided to create some jewellery sets for the discerning Dominant who would like a matching accessory to their play partners collar (or for someone who would just like to wear some really nice looking bling).

To date, we have only created 4 sets. However, if you have a specific type of chainmail weave in mind, feel free to contact me to enquire about having your own custom creation, or you can come along and browse our stall in Bristol on the 13th. I look forward to meeting people there.

You can view the Kabunza blog post, which details the 4 sets and has links to our online shop: Here.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: What is the difference?

Recently I was asked what the difference is between a professional Dominatrix and a lifestyle Dominatrix. I thought my reply was worth posting to blog and I have thrown financial Domination in the mix as well because this has also been asked of me in the past:

A financial Dominatrix has no skill in any of the BDSM arts. They are not a true Mistress, they simply pose as one. It is unlikely you will meet them anywhere apart from online. All they will do is demand that you give them money or pay their bills. They demand cash in exchange for nothing (aside from possible verbal abuse or online humiliation).
These people tend to give professional Domination a bad name because many people fail to differentiate between financial and professional Domination as there are quite a few professional Dominants who practice financial Domination.
I personally loath this practice. In my opinion they are on a par with beggars or ‘spongers’. I believe that money given should be money earned and I class financial Dominants as lower than pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.

A professional Dominatrix is basically one who plays in a dungeon with a paying client. The client has a fetish, kink or BDSM fantasy and would like to act it out. It is a form of drama therapy and while it may be erotic or sensual, there is never any sex ( if sex is involved then they are a prostitute, not a Dominatrix).
The majority of professional Dominatrices have a normal life when they leave the dungeon (When I say majority, I can only comment on my own experiences and acquaintances. Around 90% of all I have met. And when I say normal, I mean of course a vanilla existence). They do not spend a large portion of their life studying BDSM practices. They have a very basic knowledge of the equipment, normally what they have been told by friends, played with in the bedroom, have seen on TV or what they may have had shown to them by other Mistresses or submissives at their dungeon of residence. This level of skill coupled with common sense and safety is often enough to deal with a large portion of paying clients. Most clients have a very generalised fetish (often something they have seen on television or on the internet) which tend to be very simple to do. They do not often attend BDSM events or clubs because they consider the play their job and there is no profit in attending such places.
I must stress that this opinion is based solely on the professional Dominants that I have met. The other 10% tend to be incredibly skilled because they are usually both lifestyle as well as professional. The key is, of course, noticing this before passing judgement simply on their choice of profession. The lifestyle professionals tend to do it for a living because they love BDSM so much.

A lifestyler (or lifestyle Dominatrix, if you prefer) is one who does it because they love it. It is part of their everyday life. They often go to great lengths to get high quality or specialised equipment (I rarely use the equipment on show in the dungeon as I prefer my own) and they spend a great deal of time learning the skills involved in their chosen BDSM activities. They tend to attend the events, clubs and venues because it is their passion and not simply a job.

Essentially it comes down to this: Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand (and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so. Of course, this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh), give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and (9 times out of 10) she will show you how to hit someone with it for money, give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger (preferably someone that has a few years experience) and she will show you how to make it dance.

There is a lot of information on the internet about the differences. These are of course just my own observations and opinions. I am forever hoping to have these opinions improved upon, but this is how they stand to date.

I am both lifestyle and professional. I am of the minority. I do this for a living next to my small business (even my small business is BDSM orientated) and it has been my passion and a major part of my life for almost 10 years.

Constructive opinions appreciated if anyone would care to give their own interpretations. Is my opinion flawed?

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.

Nothing but truth.

In attendance to my local munch (Swindon’s friendly munch 18/07/12) I had stirred curiosity in a couple of the younger mundane locals. Casual conversation ensued with a visit to the taverns outside smoking area. As you do (or as most mundane smokers do, probably).

“You have until I finish my cigarette.” I said as I pulled out and lit a jet black slimline Djarum. “Whatever questions you have in mind, I promise you will receive nothing but truth.”

“May I ask some questions too?” The more vocal of the two queried.

“If you must.” I stated as I blew a plume of smoke in the direction of the quiet one. My eyes stayed on him regardless of who spoke for the duration of the conversation. The quiet ones usually end up being the more interesting.

“You are a Mistress?”
“Yes.”
“Could I visit your dungeon?”
“Yes.”
“What would happen if I did?”
“That would depend on my mood.”
“Would it hurt?”
“Probably.”
“Then why would I want to visit?”
“You will know the answer to that question if you ever decide to visit.”
“Why are you being so mysterious?”
“Perhaps you are just asking the wrong questions.”

There was a short pause as both mundanes looked in thought as to what to ask next.

“Any question at all.” I restated as I gestured casually to the quiet one. My cigarette had roughly reached its halfway point and I gently waved it in front of his face for emphasis. “Your time is running out.”

“I am trying to think of how to word it.” The quiet one said as he shifted shyly on the spot.
“Usually the best way to word something is to simply say it.” I stated with an amused smirk.

The vocal one spoke again.

“Your teeth look very sharp”
“Not as sharp as my claws.” I stated as I held up my empty hand so that he could get a decent look. My eyes were still fixed on the silent one and the slightly amused smirk still played at the corner of my mouth.

“Are they real?”
“Yes, though coated with acrylic resin for strength so that they are functional.”
“Functional for what?”
“What do you think?” I stated as I glanced at the vocal one for the first time since the conversation had started. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled with an open mouth. It seemed as though he was attempting to think of a witty retort but one never came. Instead, he looked to the floor, still smiling. “Time is up.” I said as I glanced back to the quiet one and exhaled the last plume of clove scented smoke.

“Why should I trust you?” The quiet one suddenly said as I flicked my cigarette end into the closest ashtray.
“I offer a safe and legal environment, a gentle introduction and everything is consensual.” I said as I passed him my business card and made my way back towards the bar area.

I stopped in the entrance arch and glanced back to see him looking at the number on my card. “Good question.” I stated with a slightly crooked grin.