Product review: Uberkinky Clone A Pussy Chocolate Kit

I must admit that I have been putting this review off for a little while now, mainly because I have been experimenting with ideas for the pussy mould.

Normally, I do not go for the novelty factor items that you can get from most sexually orientated shops but when presented with a list of items to review from my friend at Uberkinky, this item seemed to jump out at me.

It was just one of those days where I fancied a bit of chocolate, I guess.

And the Uberkinky Clone A Pussy Chocolate Kit seemed like a fine chance for a bit of fun and chocolate at the same time.

When I opted for this item, I was expecting something where you would literally dunk your privates in a quick setting chocolate in an effort to create a imprinted “replica” of it (but more likely to have it licked away by a significant other before any mould could ever set). I was wrong. It is a kit to create a gel-like mould of your private parts which is then continually reusable to make a replica of your privates out of anything you like.

But they suggest chocolate, and they even give you enough chocolate to create two replicas for yourself before you start getting inventive.

If properly stored, the mould you create can be used quite a few times before it starts to degrade and you are limited only by your imagination (and finding the things to shove in it). Private part shaped ice cubes (for use in play, obviously) as well as candle wax (for erotically shaped candles and wax play), but you can even fill the mould with liquid rubber to immortalize your nether regions for all time!

You could even make a pussy shaped bar of soap or “pussy on a rope” for that particularly sexy bathing experience, using mouldable glycerine soap (available at most hobby shops). You could place the rope in such a way that it looks like Japanese rope bondage of the privates or, If you wanted to be particularly naughty, you could arrange it so that the rope comes out where the opening of the pussy would normally be.

But I digress, these are all just possibilities that have come to mind from this (literally) fun-filled little novelty. The best ideas will obviously be unique to each individual but this is one of those toys that you can get very inventive with.

One thing I will mention is that the instructions tell you to microwave the chocolate. Do NOT do this! It will ruin the chocolate! Boil some water in a pan and place an empty plastic bowl in the water, then place the chocolate in the bowl and let it melt that way. Trust me, microwaves ruin chocolate.

Incidentally, if you prefer having a clone of male genitalia, Uberkinky also have the Clone a Willy Kit!

Kabunza: Chocolate Decadence

I had to do it sooner or later: The first matching set of BDSM impact play toys by Kabunza.

When I originally decided to start building a matching set, it was also going to include a matching collar, wrist and ankle cuffs, and a necklace for the Dominant that would have the key to the collar and cuffs as a pendant. Then I realised that the amount of cash I would end up needing to charge someone for all of that, and the matching toy collection as well, would likely be outside the range of a standard budget (not to mention incredibly hefty in materials and time consuming on my part).
So, despite being able to do it (who knows, I may get a custom order for such a set in the future), I decided to simply stick with a collection of impact toys.

This first matching collection brings about the introduction of Dragon Tails into our range of BDSM products. Which, despite being one of the more difficult items to incorporate chainmail into, seems to have turned out rather nicely. I have personally tested the design and I am more than happy with the results. These things pack a thrilling sting, feel lovely in the hand and, at the same time, are very aesthetically pleasing.

Anyway, let us get down to the details:

“Chocolate Decadence” BDSM Impact play set:

This set consists of 5 items in total: A pair of Kabunza Poi Floggers, A pair of Kabunza Nunchaku Floggers and a Kabunza Dragon Tail.

Details of the “Chocolate Decadence” Poi Floggers:
These have a hefty total length of 28 inches from tip to tip. They give a wonderful “thuddy” experience.
Statistics:
18 inch European chocolate suede leather falls (1 centimeter in width).
5 inch length of solid bronze “Box Chain” weave chainmail (8mm rings) chain.
Black Italian goat skin leather Turks head embellishes.
European chocolate suede poi finger loops.

Details of the “Chocolate Decadence” Nunchaku Floggers:
These have a hefty total length of 28 inches from tip to tip. Clearly a flogger for the discerning connaisseur. On an additional note: These floggers will never tangle due to the ball bearing swivel.
Statistics:
16 inch European chocolate suede leather falls (1 centimeter in width).
3 inch length of solid bronze “Box chain” weave chainmail (8mm rings) chain.
Black Italian goat skin leather Turks head embellishes.
8 inch Black ‘Chinese red oak’ wood Nunchaku handles with engraved, European chocolate suede leather embellished, grip.
Plated steel ball bearing swivel connection.

Details of the “Chocolate Decadence” Dragons Tail:
The newest addition to the Kabunza arsenal: The Dragons Tail. With a flickable length of over 35 inches, this tail comes with a guaranteed sting which will, no doubt (we hope), be administered with love.
Statistics:
25 inch European chocolate suede tail.
10 inch handle containing a solid pinewood core, layered inside the leather of the tail (this is a single length of leather) to assure strength and have the added bonus of a very comfortable grip.
Embellished and strengthened further with solid bronze “European 4:1” chainmail and waxed black cotton cord.

Why did I decide on the first set being something other than black? Because I wanted to do something different. Something a little ‘Steampunky’ and something that incorporated Bronze instead of the more commonly used metals.

Our aim as a business is (and always will be) to bring only the pinnacle of quality and craftsmanship to the table while also standing out from the crowd, avoiding the norm (even amongst the kink) and to be unquestionably unique.

I think this first matching set (of what will hopefully be many) pulls off all of those aspects rather nicely.

The set has been given a name for a reason; this set is one-of-a-kind. I have no more of this type of suede leather and I doubt I will be getting any more bronze rings unless specifically requested for other custom creations.

It is now available for sale in our Etsy shop and I wish any potential buyers the best of luck in attaining it. Once it is sold, it will be incredibly unlikely that I will ever have the similar materials to build another.

A list of rules for the female submissive. Inspired by actual events (mostly).

Another old file found which was written back when I had a few collared female submissives (approximately 6-7 years ago). New rules were added on a weekly basis. I think it makes for a rather amusing blog post.

Some very fun memories.

Enjoy.

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Rules:
1) I will not carve happy faces in the flogger handles.
2) I will not yell “FIRE!” every time Mistress lights a candle.
3) Funny noises are not ‘that’ funny.
4) I will not slap Mistress with my bra.
5) Punishment is not boring or pointless.
6) I will not call Mistress Dr.Death.
7) I will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Mistresses D/s party.
8) A burp is not an appropriate response to Mistress.
9) I will not eat all of Mistresses chocolate while she is at work.
10) I will not call Mistress Spud head, Butt head or any kind of head.
11) Mud is not an acceptable side dish for Mistresses dinner.
12) I will not peak out of the blindfold.
13) There is no such thing as “slave immunity”.
14) I will not win an Emmy for my last punishment session.
15) I cannot fire Mistress.
16) I will not scare people who are new to the BDSM scene by telling them that all “real subs” like bullwhips.
17) I will refrain from saying “Hail Satan” when I do not like Mistresses orders.
18) I will not use Mistresses bondage table as a skateboard ramp or as a slide into the pool.
19) I will not attempt to wear Mistresses underwear on my head until it has been removed.
20) Mistresses ARE perfect.

These are a few of my favourite things.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
Dum dum de dum dum and something with mittens,
La da de da da with string,
These are a few of my favourite things.”

Who could forget that amazingly memorable song from the movie ‘The sound of music’ sung by Julie Andrews.

Recently, I have been receiving requests to list a few of my favourite things here on my blog. Food, drink, activities etc. Naturally, it is in my best interest to acquiesce such requests. Especially seeing as such things are difficult to add to my Amazon wishlist.

So, without further ado:

Favourite foods:
• Filetto Rossini (steak, bloody)
• Any kind of slightly charred flesh (bloody, still moving is a bonus)
• Sushi (the closest I can get to being vegetarian. Although, I do consider poultry, fish and most small mammals as “almost vegetables”)

Favourite desserts:
• Panna Cotta (Italian cream)
• Belgian Waffles (chocolate, clotted cream, ice cream)
• Chocolate Fudge Cake

Favourite alcoholic drinks:
• Absinthe (Swiss or Romanian)
• Tia Maria
• Disaronno
• Faustino 1 (red rioja wine)

Favourite nonalcoholic drinks:
• Pussy (not a joke, an actual drink)
• Tea (milk, no sugar)

Favourite cigarettes:
• Djarum Special
• Djarum Black

Favourite sweets:
• Thorntons Chocolate (milky/creamy)
• Lindlt Chocolate (double cream)

Favourite flowers:
• Black rose
• White rose
• Jasmine

Favourite fetishes/BDSM activities:
• Bullwhips/Whips/floggers
• Corporal punishment/Caning
• Spanking/Paddles
• Violet Wand play/Electrics
• Ponyplay/Petplay
• Bondage/Restraints/Shibari
• Body/Boot/Goddess Worship
• Genitalia & Nipple torture
• Emotional Sadism/Mental bondage/Mind Games
• Queening
• Humiliation
(this list is incredibly extensive, I have listed only the few I could think of off the top of my head to give an idea of what I like most)

Favourite physical activities:
• Sex
• Rollerblading
• Visually pleasing walks (as in the journey, e.g. Beach, Forest and Moorland. Not the act of walking itself, because that would just be silly)

Favourite hobbies/pass times:
• BDSM
• X-Box/Gaming (RPG’s preferable)
• Reading/Writing

Favourite music:
• Marilyn Manson
• Lordi
• Rammstein
• Ozzy Osbourne
• Slash
• Voltaire
• Garbage
• Kidney Thieves
• Chiasm
• Encoder
• Skillet
• Sub Dub Micromachine
• Rob Zombie
• Genitorturers
• Apocalyptica
• The Pretty Reckless
• Abney Park
(this list is incredibly extensive, I have listed only the few I could think of off the top of my head to give an idea of what I like most)

Favourite books/reading materials/authors:
• Good Omens by Neil Gayman & Terry Pratchett
• The sleeping beauty trilogy by Anne Rice
• Grunts by Mary Gentle
• The devil’s right hand by Lilith Saintcrow
• For a few demons more by Kim Harrison
(this list is incredibly extensive, I have listed only the few I could think of off the top of my head to give an idea of what I like most)

Favourite movies:
• Constantine
• Alien quadrilogy (all of them)
• Ginger snaps
• Fallen
• Sherlock Holmes (2009 film)
• Dogma
• Underworld
• Quills
• Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
(this list is incredibly extensive, I have listed only the few I could think of off the top of my head to give an idea of what I like most)