Floggalicious

If anyone has been following Kabunza on Fetlife or Kabunza on Facebook, it would be apparent that I recently designed and built my first sets of chainmail poi floggers.

I decided to promote their introduction and release at the Bristol SWAMP on the 12th May and due to the fact that I only had enough leather to make 6 in total and the fact that I would never be getting any more of that type of leather; I released them as a limited edition.

2 days before the event, I advertised that we would only be selling them at that specific event to see how people would react to the design, look and concept.

To say that I am surprised by peoples reaction to them is an understatement. 4 of the 6 had sold within the first hour of opening our trade stand, they had all sold by the end of the market day and in case any had not; I had a backup of emails and messages from people requesting to purchase them if they did not sell at the event (so, even if all of them had not sold at the market, they would have been sold regardless).

It was also a pleasure to give one purchaser a few lessons at the afterparty on how to use them effectively.

Due to such a positive response, I have decided to look into making more and building permanent designs (as well as a few limited edition and unique floggers). I have also decided to take a month (or so) as time off from residential professional Domination to concentrate on getting this new part of Kabunza up and running (I will still be available for sessions, but it will be by appointment only or on the occasional day that I decide to visit my Bristol Dungeon. Watch my twitter feed for tweets on when those occasional days will be).

Bristol Mini photoshoot 15/04/13

On Monday, I was visited at my dungeon in Bristol by an aspiring photographer by the name of Mark. We had been conversing by way of email sporadically over the course of several months and he had expressed an interest in taking some photos of me. So on the day of his visit, after a chat and a beverage, we wandered down to the local river (literally a minutes walk from my dungeon door) to take a few snapshots. My eyes were constantly watering because I am unaccustomed to a lot of daylight, but of the selection taken these few are my favorites.

Thankyou Mark, it added a bit of fun to my day and as you can see; it put a rather large smile on my face.

Photos courtesy of Mark Lawrence.
Photography by Mark Lawrence.
Images are Copyright © 2013 Mark Lawrence.

A day in the life

Just over a month ago, I was visited by a bondage enthusiast for a full day professional session. Entering my dungeon as soon as it was opened and spending the entire day with me, whatever that day might hold, until I closed and locked the doors in the evening.

It is rare that I get a visitor for an entire day. Needless to say, I rather enjoy it.

For the majority of the time he spent in my care, when I was not personally playing and seductively teasing him, he was restrained to my St Andrews cross, caged or mummified with a decent enough view to see the other activities which went on in my dungeon environment.

Thankfully, all the visitors I received that day were eager to have an audience or be the audience.

He was treated to some sensual violet wand play, claw play, rope play, gentle CBT, and even a little impact play, He watched as I played with and brutally tied up (in shibari) a sexy and slim long-haired brunette, he enjoyed a dose of forniphilia and played the part of my throne for a while, and come the end of the evening he was even treated to another kinbaku show (this time it was myself being tied up by my Benjamin). In my opinion; a pleasant way to end such an active day.

A few days later I received an email from him, thanking me and letting me know how much fun he had.

I am looking forward to more days like this.

 

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: FAQ

Every day I receive phone calls, emails and messages asking me countless questions that all have a single and very simple answer.

Examples:

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Q. How much does it cost to have a professional play session?
A. Read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. What kind of things do you get up to in your dungeon?
A. Read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/short-stories/

Q. What is the minimum amount of time I can have for a play session?
A. Just read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. What kind of fetishes are you skilled in? Can you do…(insert selected fetish/kink here)
A. For crying out loud! Read my blog!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. Can you teach me how to…(insert selected skill here)
A. Read. My. Blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/08/18/so-you-want-to-be-a-professional-dominatrix/

Q. What do you look like? Could I have a description of you?
A. How did you even manage to get my phone number or email if you had not visited my website or one of my numerous online profiles? All of which have galleries, just like here, ON MY BLOG!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/gallery/

Q. What do you mean when you call people ‘mundane’?
A. Mundane, in my case, often refers to the vanilla or boring. However, I am considering expanding it to include people who do not read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/mistresses-meanings/

Q. Do you have a webcam? / Do you do online domination?
A. What is it that is not being understood?:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/this-is-not-a-fallacy-i-am-online/

Q. Are you looking for a full time submissive?
A. Take your pick of blog posts:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/procuring-perminance/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/10/11/introductions-benjamin/

Q. When and where is your next public event?
A. READ THE DAMN BLOG!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/wheres-mistress/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/events/

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This blog post is, of course, completely superfluous as it will probably not be read by any of the ignoramuses who continue to ask these kinds of questions.

People need to make at least a little effort.

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.