Product review: Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Spandex Open Mouth Hood

One of the things that I found incredibly useful during my time as a professional Dominatrix was the quickness and ease of a decent sensory deprivation hood. Sometimes I would have visitors who would enjoy nothing more than to be confined, shackled and deprived of their senses for hours at a time and with no other interaction. A hood gives a sense of confinement that a blindfold simply cannot.

The Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Spandex Open Mouth Hood is a good beginner hood. Unlike a full leather construction, It allows basic shadows and movement to be seen through the material. Which is perfect for anyone who has difficulty with mild claustrophobia (while still wanting to undergo what their dominant wishes to put them through) or anyone who prefers to give their play partners a very small chance of ascertaining when the next strike will hit during play (sometimes little spoilers can be very fun).

Fetish Fantasy Spandex Open Mouth Hood

One of the things to also take note of with this particular product is the material it is made from. Very stretchy and able to fit most head sizes but also of such a thin material that when ready to upgrade to a full leather hood, this one would make a very comfortable underlay.

What more can I say? Another groovy product from Uberkinky.

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Product review: Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddle

If it has not been apparent from my gallery or previous blog posts; One of my favorite BDSM activities is impact play. Particularly floggers.

However, impact play can take many forms; Whips, floggers, canes and paddles to name the most common.

Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddle:

This month, the wonderful people at Uberkinky have sent me one of their Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddles to test run and review.

Personally, I tend to use paddles as warm-up tools before moving on to heavier impact play like whips or canes, or I will use them as an accent to a session of spanking to save my hand (and claws) from prolonged impact play. I consider the humble paddle to be a very handy addition and ‘must-have’ to any arsenal of BDSM toys.

The Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddle is probably one of the lightest paddles I have ever used. They have opted for a handle which has been created completely out of hard leather and has no wooden or metal core; the reason for its lightness and slightly ‘whippy’ effect when using it heavily.

It’s rounded edges are an added bonus for those who prefer to simply heat the center of each rear-end cheek and while it sometimes feels a little flimsy when in use, it definitely makes an accurate and stingy impact.

The hard leather is of a smooth surface, making it easy to wipe clean and sterilize and a leather cord is supplied for when it is simply needed to hang on a wall or belt for show, as a constant reminder of the last play, or as a visual deterrent for any menials who tend to be a little bratty.

But there is one thing I rate incredibly highly on this item, more than anything else, and that is the sound: this paddle made a wonderful slap which echoed throughout my dungeon.

I have a feeling that I will be using this little toy quite often.

Quotations: 2012

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2012.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Menial: “Please Mistress! Flog my back, my backside, anything! just not there! Please!”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do you realise how much skill it takes to hit a target that small? This is the best practice I have had in years.”

Menial: “Mistress, I love your teeth, please bite me.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I try to avoid junk food.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “What do you think?”
Friend: “Very nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Where there is a whip, there is a way.”

Menial: “what are your favourite colours, Mistress?”
Mistress Hawk: “Sable, Onyx, Ebony, Coal, Jet, Raven and I sometimes like Black as well.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am actually very good at appearing as though I am paying attention.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I will not recite the rules, but I expect them to be followed regardless.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “My mother said to me, ‘If you join the armed forces, you’ll be a general; if you become a priest, you’ll end up as the first female Pope. Instead, I became a Dominatrix and wound up here.”
Friend: “Though you would probably get more kinky sex if you were the pope.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Quite cramped. No room to swing a cat. Not that I swing cats. Or eat. Trying to cut down. Cholestero- Uhh, morals. I mean morals.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Even evil genius such as mine needs a day or two off on occasion.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not intentionally being funny. I am just instinctively cruel and people think that I am joking.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Politicians: More slippery than catfish in a jar of Vaseline.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra these days than on Alzheimer’s research. By the year 2040 all the elderly will have perky breasts or stiff erections but no idea why.”

Menial: “For some women it is flowers or chocolates or jewelry, What is the quickest route to your heart, Mistress?
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You cannot find a rout to what does not exist”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone has an opinion. Mine just matters more.”

Menial: “You know, Mistress, underneath it all, I think you are quite nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Repeat that disgraceful slander and I will make a stew out of your tongue.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A Mistress is never wrong. Even if they are.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Judging from personal experience, I am fairly certain that ‘pot pourri’ is french for ‘not crisps’.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone fantasises to escape their mundane lives. The difference is that in my line of work, I am the fantasy.”
Friend: “You must get some real perverts.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “If I am lucky.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Your skull, My urinal.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Be a darling and pop my tinny hymen for me.” (in reference to opening a can of ‘Pussy’ energy drink)

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike watching the news and for good reason. They begin by saying something along the lines of ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it is not.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I did not evolve my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Are you frightened?”
Menial: “Yes.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Not nearly frightened enough.”
Menial: “Lord of the rings quote?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “No, common sense when someone as sadistic as myself has you chained to a cross.”

Vanilla/Mundane: “Could I visit your dungeon?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Yes.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “What would happen if I did?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “That would depend on my mood.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “Would it hurt?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Probably.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You are twisted, perverted and sick. I like you.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do like to try everything once, and then once again, and then once again, and then once again.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t worry. It only seems kinky the first time.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I always try to provoke offence. It tends to make the mundane more interesting.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Pray that I never make a promise, for I shall always deliver on it.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Given my insatiable passion for hitting things with other things, it seemed appropriate”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so, of course; this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh. Give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and, 9 times out of 10, she will show you how to hit someone with it for money. Give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger, preferably someone that has a few years experience, and she will show you how to make it dance.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I hope you realise that I will need to punish you for worshiping a false deity.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do so love an audience.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Mine.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “For the love of everything kinky, use what little common sense it takes.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Attempting to imagine what they would have produced in the 1930’s if they had decided to create a violet wand to damage instead of heal has been the subject of recent wet dreams.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do try to avoid cringing when I smile.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go, With a whip and cane to distribute some pain, Hi ho, hi ho-hi ho-hi ho.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “4 teeth surgically removed, 3 of them wisdom. Disappointed. Many told me it was going to be excruciating. Frankly, Kinbaku is more painful.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “This Halloween was incredibly peaceful. Not a single trick or treat’er. When I talked to a neighbor this morning, she said it is because all of the children in the street are scared of the ‘demon lady’ and would not approach my door. I feel like all my years of hard work scaring the crap out of children on Halloween is finally complete.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You tremble, your nerves betray you and I can smell your scent on the breeze. You are oozing fear!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Personally, I like it rough.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do something constructive: Cut out your tongue.”

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: What is the difference?

Recently I was asked what the difference is between a professional Dominatrix and a lifestyle Dominatrix. I thought my reply was worth posting to blog and I have thrown financial Domination in the mix as well because this has also been asked of me in the past:

A financial Dominatrix has no skill in any of the BDSM arts. They are not a true Mistress, they simply pose as one. It is unlikely you will meet them anywhere apart from online. All they will do is demand that you give them money or pay their bills. They demand cash in exchange for nothing (aside from possible verbal abuse or online humiliation).
These people tend to give professional Domination a bad name because many people fail to differentiate between financial and professional Domination as there are quite a few professional Dominants who practice financial Domination.
I personally loath this practice. In my opinion they are on a par with beggars or ‘spongers’. I believe that money given should be money earned and I class financial Dominants as lower than pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.

A professional Dominatrix is basically one who plays in a dungeon with a paying client. The client has a fetish, kink or BDSM fantasy and would like to act it out. It is a form of drama therapy and while it may be erotic or sensual, there is never any sex ( if sex is involved then they are a prostitute, not a Dominatrix).
The majority of professional Dominatrices have a normal life when they leave the dungeon (When I say majority, I can only comment on my own experiences and acquaintances. Around 90% of all I have met. And when I say normal, I mean of course a vanilla existence). They do not spend a large portion of their life studying BDSM practices. They have a very basic knowledge of the equipment, normally what they have been told by friends, played with in the bedroom, have seen on TV or what they may have had shown to them by other Mistresses or submissives at their dungeon of residence. This level of skill coupled with common sense and safety is often enough to deal with a large portion of paying clients. Most clients have a very generalised fetish (often something they have seen on television or on the internet) which tend to be very simple to do. They do not often attend BDSM events or clubs because they consider the play their job and there is no profit in attending such places.
I must stress that this opinion is based solely on the professional Dominants that I have met. The other 10% tend to be incredibly skilled because they are usually both lifestyle as well as professional. The key is, of course, noticing this before passing judgement simply on their choice of profession. The lifestyle professionals tend to do it for a living because they love BDSM so much.

A lifestyler (or lifestyle Dominatrix, if you prefer) is one who does it because they love it. It is part of their everyday life. They often go to great lengths to get high quality or specialised equipment (I rarely use the equipment on show in the dungeon as I prefer my own) and they spend a great deal of time learning the skills involved in their chosen BDSM activities. They tend to attend the events, clubs and venues because it is their passion and not simply a job.

Essentially it comes down to this: Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand (and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so. Of course, this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh), give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and (9 times out of 10) she will show you how to hit someone with it for money, give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger (preferably someone that has a few years experience) and she will show you how to make it dance.

There is a lot of information on the internet about the differences. These are of course just my own observations and opinions. I am forever hoping to have these opinions improved upon, but this is how they stand to date.

I am both lifestyle and professional. I am of the minority. I do this for a living next to my small business (even my small business is BDSM orientated) and it has been my passion and a major part of my life for almost 10 years.

Constructive opinions appreciated if anyone would care to give their own interpretations. Is my opinion flawed?