Product review: Uberkinky Ribbed Urethral Dipstick Sounder

I do not know exactly what it is about sounding that I love, but there is something about forcing a man up against a wall, shackling his arms and legs wide and forcing cold metal rods down his manhood that I find very erotic.

Personally, I like it to be a soft and sensual act, a delicate and precise procedure with the exception of a quick movement or extraction every now and then for increased sensation or with sadistic intention.

And sometimes I like to soak his feet in baby oil so he cannot keep his footing on the dungeon floor during the process, relying solely on the shackles for support…

Anyway, I digress.

When the wonderful people at Uberkinky offered me a new urethral sounding rod to review for them, how could I refuse?

Uberkinky Ribbed Urethral Dipstick Sounder:

Ribbed for his pleasure (sorry, I could not resist).

I have many urethral sounding rods. Among my collection is a full set of Hegar, a full set of Bakes rosebuds and even a vibrating urethral dilator. But they are all relatively smooth; this is the first sounding rod added to my collection which is of an unusual shape or texture.

A solid shaft of stainless steel with a high quality chrome finish, this dilator comes in four diameters and has a lovely length and weight when held in the hand, it is slightly heavier than what I am used to, but the added weight made a significantly positive difference from my perspective. I chose the rather comfortable 8mm. In my opinion: not too big, not too small.

From the moment of insertion, I could see the effect. Normally the most shocking part of sounding (especially with a Bakes rosebud dilator), is the first step; when the head of the rod pops through the eye of the meatus. After this beginning step is over, it is generally a clear sailing of desired sensations because the rod shafts tend to be smooth. With the URUDS, the popping is continuous with every rib and of course, the sensation inside the shaft would be significantly different. Judging from the expressions and sounds he made during play (compared to normal), I would guess it is far more intense (which in turn, made me enjoy it all the more).

Have you ever taken a length of ball chain and ran it over a piece of wood? No? Neither have I. But I imagine the sound you get from quickly extracting this sounding rod is incredibly similar. The effect it brings is very intoxicating.

Would I recommend this sounding rod for a beginner? No. Definitely not. A beginner should start off with a smooth set and become comfortable with the basics before moving on to more advanced options.

However, once comfortable and knowledgeable about basics and safety; DEFINITELY try one of these.

I think the only preference I would have, if the option ever became available, would be a rounded head instead of a tapered one. More as a personal safety preference. Other than that: I think this is a pretty awesome addition to any sounding rod collection.

No Champagne.

Written by Benjamin.
Edited by Aemilia Hawk.

A story about one of our play sessions that my Benjamin has been asking me to write for some time. However, lately I have not been in the mood to write short stories. So, I told him to write up the story from his perspective and that I would publish it on the blog after adding to it and editing it.

Enjoy.

It was a Tuesday evening and I made my way to the dungeon for the usual session with my Mistress. I thought it would just be a regular session. I was wrong.

On arriving at the house doorway, I paused slightly in the entryway before ringing the bell. It is very similar to visiting the dentist. There is a clean smell but at the same time, an unnerving sense. Once you step beyond the barred metal door, you give up all rights and you are at the whim of the Mistress to do as she pleases.

I rang the doorbell and waited for the clicking sound of heels which I normally hear as Mistress approaches the door to let me inside. I waited and I listened. I heard no sound this time.

Suddenly the door opened. It was the house slave.

“Good evening, the Mistress is expecting you and is awaiting your arrival upstairs.” he said with a welcoming smile.

I glanced at my watch to double check that I had arrived on time. I was a few minutes early.

“Is everything alright?” I asked as I stepped through to the hallway.

“Everything is fine, the Mistress is waiting for you in the purple room tonight, she demanded that you be sent up as soon as you arrived. Enjoy your evening.”

As I made my way up the thin staircase, I could see the dull glow from the dungeons candles seeping through the curtain door and as I entered, the first thing I saw is Mistress sitting on her Iron throne, smoking a cigarette and looking quite relaxed.

I try my hardest not to show any nerves. She always says that she can smell fear. So far she has never been wrong. But I manage to greet her as normal. There was a short silence as I waited for her reply. The tone of her voice can usually give away some clues as to how heavy the evenings play will be, but this time the words were soft and sensual.

“Come here.”

I approached slowly to stand in front of her and I offered her my usual gift which she accepted gracefully. There was a certain glint in her eye as she placed the gift to one side and in a single word told me to undress.

My nerves kicked in again. Normally I am undressed by the time she enters the dungeon but I turned away and begin to do as I was told.

“Face me. I wish to watch.”

With her watchful gaze upon me, I returned to face her and begin to take off my clothes piece by piece to place neatly in the corner. She smiled as I removed the last item and then gestured to the floor in front of where she sat. A signal of her wish to have me kneel at her feet.

After a few peaceful moments of sensation, Mistress running her claws through my hair and behind my ears, she leaned forward and whispered for me to stand in front of the slanted post, which I did immediately. She followed, but slowly. Standing from her throne and making sure every click of her heel could be savored as she walked towards me.

Normally just my hands and feet are secured, but this time she also secured my waist and made sure my movement would be limited.

“I want you fully secure tonight” She said in her voice like silk. “You will understand why in a few moments.”

I took in a deep breath and tried to think of something to say. I decided that it is probably best to say nothing at all.

Once secure, Mistress walked slowly towards the door, pausing only briefly to turn and smile at me before disappearing out. She returned a minute later carrying a large black box with silver accents. There was no mistaking her vintage violet wand (Angele) which she placed directly next to me on a waist height spanking stool.

My trepidation built as she took her time connecting all of the leads into the machine along with the body contact pad attachment. Then slowly lifting one side of her Steampunk skirt to reveal her left stocking top, she sensually slid the pad inside. For me this was breathtaking to watch, but unexpectedly she then lifted the other side of her ruffled skirt to reveal a small dagger tucked inside the top of her other stocking.

The dagger was tenderly removed and Mistress stood for a few moments before me, watching my expressions intently and caressing the blade tip with her claws. When she is not pressured for time, she likes to take her time, which can be all the more unnerving.

Eventually, she turned to one side and switched on Angele. The machine is not like a modern violet wand which would hum and whirr, Angele rumbles and growls, and had now electrified both my Mistress and the dagger in her hand.

Mistress returned her gaze and looked at me with such tenderness that I became oblivious to what she was about to do. The look in her eyes was one of content and pure confidence as she leaned in close to press the dagger against my chest and hold it still against the skin.

The initial shock of cold steel upon the skin outweighed the electrical discharge. As long as the dagger was pressed firmly and not moved, the electricity would not be felt.

“Now you see why I want you secure” she said softly as her body leaned in close for a few moments to press against mine.

And then it happened; she quickly stepped back and drew the dagger in a diagonal line across the bare of my chest. With the electricity running through it, it had the same sensation as if the knife was burning through the flesh and cutting deeply. A red line appeared in its wake, tracing the daggers branding and you could smell the scent of burning flesh.

Mistress paused and held the knife still, stopping the pain. She then leaned in close, again to press her body against mine before tracing the line she had just drawn across my chest with a claw. She deeply inhaled the scent in the air and a grin of utter pleasure formed on her lips.

“No Champagne” She said in that deceptive soft tone and referring to our normal safe word, revoking the privilege.

So, I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes and tried my best to find my sub space.

As sparkly as unicorn poop.

It seems I have been nominated for three blogger awards by the ever kinky Deviant wench.

I have no idea if I won the last award: The Reader Appreciation Award. Probably unlikely as I do tend to ignore half the rules. But it is all in good fun and gives me an excuse to stroke my ego or talk about myself, which, apparently, I love to do.

So, the awards are as follows:

The Beautiful Blogger Award:

Naturally.

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award:

Again, Naturally.

And, The META Awesomest Blog Unicorn Award:

Who invents these things? I mean, I enjoy a bit of ponyplay as much as the next Mistress. But a pink, shiny unicorn-boy? He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.

Nevermind. Let us proceed to the rules.

1. Include the award logo(s) somewhere in your blog:
See Above. Much to my dismay.

2. Answer 10 questions you have about yourself / “Share 10 factoids that absolutely no one really needs to know about me, but which I am going to share anyway, because that’s how I roll”:
The entertaining part.

1. I actually own several cuddly toys. My favorite is a talking “Stitch” from Disneys “Lilo and Stitch” movie. He shouts out “MAKE ME A SANDWICH!”, so I often shake him at people to get him to shout it out instead of having to say it myself.
2. Every time my submissive (Benjamin) gets to play in the dungeon he always brings a packet of jelly sweets (I use them as treats if he takes the pain well or has been good). I tend to eat all the red ones myself and he has been wondering, for the past 8 months, why he never gets any red sweets in any of the packets.
3. I dislike being called a vampire and prefer the term “Demon” or “Demonic”. The last person to refer to me as “vampiric” ended up chained to a fence in the back yard of my dungeon, naked, while it was hailing. I am still in the firm belief that I was overly lenient.
4. I have an obsession with tea. I would take it intravenously if it would not be so detrimental to my health. (Milk, no sugar. Because I am sweet enough. If I get any sweeter, I will be out of a job.)
5. Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.
6. I enjoy confusing people by randomly switching between being sarcastic and being brutally honest.
7. I often ask myself stupid questions. Examples: “Why is it that my lemonade contains all kinds of artificial ingredients and my washing up liquid contains real lemons?” and “Toast always lands butter-side-down when it is dropped and a cat always lands on its feet, so what would happen if I buttered the back of a cat and threw it out of the upper story window?”. Luckily, I rarely say these things out loud.
8. I am a huge fan of science fiction (especially Star Wars and Mass Effect) and heavy metal music. You will never see that sentence written on this blog again.
9. I sometimes pretend to be mundane. However, I get bored of it rather quickly.
10. I dislike eating pears. It is not the kind of pressure I like to be under.

3. Nominate 10 to 12 blogs you enjoy. Or you pick the number:

It goes without saying that I will pick the number.

1. http://wereallmadinhere.wordpress.com/ (She has probably already been nominated, but I like her blog.)
2. http://thehourglass-nicole.blogspot.co.uk/ (Not a wordpress blog, but she is a friend and I enjoy the rants and raves of her stalker)
3. http://ramblingsofanaspiringwriter.wordpress.com/ (An entertaining read.)
4. http://rbholbrook.wordpress.com/ (His demon character makes me think of me if I were vanilla. I like it.)
5. http://jessicadee25.wordpress.com/(a friend)
6. http://mykinkylife.wordpress.com/ (a friend)

4. Pay the love forward: Provide your nominees links in your post and comment on their blogs to let them know they’ve been included and invited to participate:
How do I say this without sounding incredibly pompous, arrogant and sloth?

No.

5. Pay the love back with gratitude and a link to the blogger(s) who nominated you:
Deviant wench: Foul mouthed and penis obsessed.
However, she is also witty, funny, charismatic and a damn good read at times. I like her.

DV8 Fetish Festival 2012: Overview

As expected, the festival was exceedingly fun.
The first evening, the DV8 club XS party, consisted of greeting old friends, saying hellos and letting my submissive (Benjamin) find his feet. This was his first time seeing public play, so I decided it would be best to make few demands, let him watch the activities of others and to let him decide on his own when he would be ready to play with an audience.
I was in no rush and was planning on a relaxing weekend.
I did get up on the main floor to play with Tempest for a while, but aside from that, my entertainment mainly consisted of friends, conversation and watching my wide-eyed menial take in the atmosphere.

The day of the festival, however, was far more active.

For the majority of the morning and afternoon, I played host at the Kabunza Craftwerks market stand. For our first ever official event I think we did exceptionally well. Lots of business cards were passed around, we received lots of interest and collars, necklaces, bracelets and cuffs were made to measure on the spot for a good number of people.

Shopping at the market was expected, though I did not expect to spend so much or have so much spent on me. I was having an incredible amount of fun testing out the weight and flow of the floggers for sale.

With the approach of the evening: A dip in the pool (Nudity mandatory), lots of conversation and the meeting of more kinksters. But the highlight of the night started with some violet wand play. A friend of mine had brought along his violet wand and graciously allowed me the use of it. It was at this point my menial play partner lost his “finding his feet” immunity and spent the following hour or so being flogged with an electrified mini flogger, having his nipples toasted and generally being zapped for my amusement.

Eventually, my attentions turned towards the electrical arc of the wand. The electrical arc was a lot larger compared to what I had seen in the past. It beckoned attention. Asking my friend to turn it up to full power, I spent half an hour or so attracting a crowd by playing with the currents and lightning. I had an incredible amount of fun with this and it is my hope to visit the home of my friend in the near future in an effort to make a video or two for show on this blog. There was one comment that I overheard about my play that I found most amusing and will never forget: “It looks like the hand of god.”

My proudest moment was when my menial requested to be flogged. It seemed the nudged play with electricity had culled all his butterflies. Using my new dual floggers (freshly purchased from the festival market) I was still eager to play and many people gave compliment to both my technique and my menials stamina. He did very well for his first public play.

I had one request from a random watcher in the crowds. A canning. Which, due to the lack of decent arm room, could only be relatively light. But he seemed to enjoy it immensely.

The festival eventually came to an end with the closing of the DV8 venue at 3:00am on the Sunday morning. It had been a wonderful weekend, it was over far too soon and I find myself already in anticipation for next years event.

Final analysis: Excellent. A much needed and very fun break.

All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.