Event review: Kinkfest UK 2014

Earlier this year, I was asked to take part and teach workshops at the UK’s largest and newest BDSM educational conference and event, Kinkfest UK. To say it was an honour to have been able to take part is an understatement and over the course of its 2 day debut, it quickly became my favorite event of 2014 and one of my favourite BDSM events of this past decade.

Concentrating more on the safety and knowledge aspects of BDSM during the day by hosting a large and very diverse assortment of workshops and classes, while during the evenings having a large environment to practice in and have fun with new-found skills, as well as having live performances of fire play and Japanese rope bondage, Kinkfest UK has it all. In fact, I think the only thing it lacked was a market.

Held in the same venue as they hold the Midland peer rope evenings at the Xtasia club in Birmingham, I ran several flogging workshops over the course of the event and I also managed to get in some very fun rope (photos below). They have expressed wishes to continue Kinkfest UK as a yearly event and I for one really hope they do. This event was simply awesome and given the chance, I would gleefully attend again.

The First flogging workshop on the 26th July:

My playtime while attending the peer rope workshop on the 26th July:

The last flogging workshop on the 27th July:

My rope model and workshop partner for the event: Jitsuka.
Photos courtesy of Kinkfest UK.
Photography by Red Fox Photography.
All images are copyright © KinkfestUK 2014.

I tie.

A common misconception seems to be that because I tend to get tied up, I do not tie.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

All of the rope workshops and tuition that I have attended with Benjamin have been learning experiences for me as well. I simply choose to avoid having my rope photographed in abundance.

Eventually, when I feel as though my skill level has developed to a decent point, things may change and I may end up having photos or videos done every time I tie, but for the moment I am happy honing my skills on willing friends (I tend to prefer tying girls) and having fun.

My new rope. Soaked in the blood of my victims.

I have two sets of rope. My newest set, purchased from and treated by Benjamin, consists of eight 8.4m lengths of 5mm Tossa Jute which have been dyed blood red.

Benjamin has started up a small business treating and selling premium asanawa jute and you can check out his new site at: http://shibaribybenjamin.wordpress.com/

The other (my first set of ropes) is a very special set of eight 9m lengths of 6mm single ply Jute, imported from Japan, that Benjamin gave to me as a gift last year. I will now be keeping this set for special occasions.

My special Japanese jute.

So, yes. I tie.
😉

And in all likelihood, I will have some photos of my ropework here on my blog eventually.

Quotations: 2013

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2013.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here
You can see the ‘Quotations 2012’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Aemilia Hawk: “You know something is seriously wrong with your karma when you manage to poke yourself in the eye with a duvet while searching for a chainmail earring that somehow managed to get stuck down the back of the living room radiator.”

Aemilia Hawk: “People may not realise this, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, feigning interest in others, not being able to talk about BDSM as much as I want, putting up with everyday mundane stupidity. It is incredibly exhausting.”

Aemilia Hawk: “There is something about forcing a man up against a wall, shackling his arms and legs wide and forcing cold metal rods down his manhood that I find very erotic.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Ribbed for his pleasure.” (In reference to a sounding rod)

Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to be a smart-ass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you are just an ass.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You can tell a lot about my mood if you watch my extremities. For example; If my claws are pressed against your throat in a threatening fashion; I am probably annoyed… Or aroused… Or both.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I have made it through the entire morning and only managed to insult two mundanes. I think my people skills are improving.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Quit being so facetious.”
Friend: “I do not know what ‘facetious’ means.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Do you know what ‘Google’ means?”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.”

Dentist: “You may feel a little discomfort.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am a sadomasochist, Sir. I think I have a pretty good idea of when something will inevitably ‘hurt like hell’.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You would be surprised at how fast people can run when they hear the crack of a Longeing Whip a few inches behind their head.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Appreciate what you have, because basically; I am awesome.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Pretty Pooky pleasantly pacificates pectorals, pandemian pallesethesia permitting.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Darth Vader hole invader?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Kin chasa du Jedi!”

Aemilia Hawk: “I suddenly have images in my head from the “Queen of the Damned” movie. Except with floggers and more blood.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, but set fire to him and he is warm for the rest of his life.”

Aemilia Hawk: “When I was a mundane, I spoke as a mundane, I understood as a mundane, I thought as a mundane: but when I became a kinkster, I put away ‘mundanish’ things.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!”

Aemilia Hawk: “Must you leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Clearly you are not yourself today. I noticed the improvement almost immediately.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Is the vegetarian option 100% real vegetarian? Why are you laughing?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Forged in the fires of Mount Kabunza, there were made rings of power! Fashioned with a secret formula now known only to the makers of hitty things, these fabulous rings gave their users untold powers! Originally, there were twenty in all: six for mastery of the female orgasm, five for rule over erection dysfunction, three for dominion over anyone shorter than 1ft (length, not height), two for the conquering of bad breath, one was lost down the back of a radiator and we can’t get it out, two were recalled for factory defects because they tended to short-circuit in the rain, and THE ONE RING… Which didn’t really do anything, but we kinda liked the way it looked. So they are now mass produced for our floggers.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I still get horrible flashbacks of a tall, grey, bearded guy, pointing a cane and what looks like a BD10 violet wand to the heavens and shouting “YOU SHALL NOT FLOG!” at me.”

Aemilia Hawk: “There are onesies in M&S. Society has finally crumbled.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I absolutely did NOT threaten to punch him. I threatened to spank him.”

Aemilia Hawk: “You need to laugh. Everyone does. What is life if you cannot moon it with a wink and a slightly crooked grin?”

Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t fuck with my chi.”

Aemilia Hawk: “I am not saying that you are stupid. I am simply saying that you have extremely bad luck when it comes to thinking.”

Aemilia Hawk: “Of course your opinion matters. Not to me, but I am sure we could find someone suitably empathetic. Have you tried posting it on Facebook?”

Aemilia Hawk: “I would like to apologise in advance for my behavior tonight.”

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Festive Celebrations

Another whirlwind year is nearing its close and, once again, I extend halfhearted well-wishes to everyone who partake in these overcommercialized holidays.

In all seriousness; Use your holiday time to do something kinky and have a bit of fun. Any time off is an excuse. Eat your Christmas dinner off each others bodies followed by a splash (literally) of mulled wine (tongues were made for licking) and if you want to be really ironic: some vanilla ice cream for dessert. Those candles on the dinner table make great wax play toys, there are some very sexy and kinky Santa outfits (have you been a good girl/boy this year?), a spanking (or flogging) is definitely considered one of the best gifts you can give at Christmas and don’t get me started on the fun places you can put tinsel or the multiple uses of ribbon. Use your imaginations and have fun.

As I said last year: “Do something kinky this Christmas.”

I will kick start 2014 off with my usual ‘Quotations of the year’ post.

Bah humbug and a happy whatever 😉

Flogging workshop and first-time Kabunza trade stand at the BBB

Whenever I am asked to host a workshop, give tuition or give a demonstration, I always leap at the chance. It is incredibly rewarding and I truly believe that one of the best things anyone with a well practiced skill can do for the BDSM community is to pass on their knowledge to willing students safely. There are a lot of people out there who are reckless (even dangerous) but teach their activities anyway, (often simply to stroke their own egos) despite how unsafe it may be. It can sometimes be very confusing or even scary enough to put people off trying or learning new things. My recommendation to anyone taking advice from anyone on any BDSM activity is to do a little research into the competence of the person(s) giving out their information and also briefly on the subject matter in question (be it flogging, whips, shibari or any BDSM skill) using that magical tool: The internet. Trust me, for the safety of both yourself and those you play with, it never hurts to do a little research and anyone with real knowledge or skill will be apparent from the tat.

I tend to be very hands-on and interactive in my workshops; I like people to ask questions, I like people to talk to me about their own experiences so that I can explain or perhaps even learn something new myself (nobody ever stops learning) and I always try to get people out of their seats to physically practice anything I am trying to teach. Actual practice of any skill makes perfect and I think being able to actively talk people through and demonstrate safely as they are attempting new skills tends to alleviate a very large portion of simple first-time learning hiccups.

Having said that; I am happy to say that the flogging workshop at the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar received some wonderful feedback and comments. It seemed as though everyone had a wonderful time and I cannot express how rewarding it is to watch people putting their new-found teachings into practice over the course of an event (having a room full of flying florantining floggers can be an incredibly fun thing to watch).

Even the lovely Mistress Victoria from Uberkinky (who was a pleasure to finally meet face to face) wrote a sparkling review of the experience, which you can read on her website blog: Here.

In response to the many people who have asked me to do some Youtube videos and tutorials: I do hope to get some made eventually, but it is finding someone who would be willing to film me and has decent enough equipment and software to do so. It will be done, it is just a question of time and expense (anyone wishing to participate in this kind of project, please feel free to contact me).

And to answer the question that so many people directed at me about my collection of floggers at the workshop: The straight handled floggers were from Jack’s Floggers, The ball handled floggers were from Jack’s floggers and Edgeplay and the majority of the floggers that you saw that evening (the poi floggers) were from our very own Kabunza Craftwerks (we do accept custom orders if you would like a personalised set made).

As well as the workshop, it was also Kabunza‘s first ever trade stand at the BBB. We received some wonderful feedback on our products and many people walked home with shiny new Kabunza collars, jewellery and floggers. We are gleefully looking forward to any possibilities of trading there again. The atmosphere and people at this event are simply awesome.

To sum up this post, I would just like to send out a few thankyou’s :

• To the BBB market and after party organizers for offering us the opportunity to have our Kabunza trade stand represented at their event, for the ample support they gave us, for allowing me the honour of hosting a workshop for them and for their very encouraging and complimentary words throughout.
• To everyone who made a purchase at the Kabunza trade stand. We know from all your lovely comments and appreciation photos that our hard work is going to good homes. We hope you get as much joy from them through their use and wear as we have had in creating them.
• To everyone who attended the workshop. I hope everyone had fun (I know many did from the comments that I have received on Facebook and Fetlife but I never tire from hearing your thoughts and I am sure the readers of my blog would love to hear your comments if anyone would like to post any below).
• To my ever diligent partner for pouring her blood, sweat and tears (three of my favourite things to squeeze out of her) into customising and altering almost every purchased Kabunza item at the event. She really worked hard.
• To my Benjamin. Who, without him, none of the above would of happened and who embraced everything that I inflicted upon him at the workshop (and afterwards) with a delicious smile. As I have always said; “It takes two to play”, and in that respect I am always greatly appreciative of him and feel incredibly lucky to have him as my own.

A day in the life

Just over a month ago, I was visited by a bondage enthusiast for a full day professional session. Entering my dungeon as soon as it was opened and spending the entire day with me, whatever that day might hold, until I closed and locked the doors in the evening.

It is rare that I get a visitor for an entire day. Needless to say, I rather enjoy it.

For the majority of the time he spent in my care, when I was not personally playing and seductively teasing him, he was restrained to my St Andrews cross, caged or mummified with a decent enough view to see the other activities which went on in my dungeon environment.

Thankfully, all the visitors I received that day were eager to have an audience or be the audience.

He was treated to some sensual violet wand play, claw play, rope play, gentle CBT, and even a little impact play, He watched as I played with and brutally tied up (in shibari) a sexy and slim long-haired brunette, he enjoyed a dose of forniphilia and played the part of my throne for a while, and come the end of the evening he was even treated to another kinbaku show (this time it was myself being tied up by my Benjamin). In my opinion; a pleasant way to end such an active day.

A few days later I received an email from him, thanking me and letting me know how much fun he had.

I am looking forward to more days like this.

 

Do unto others?

One of the things which I pride myself on is the fact that every BDSM activity that I partake in, everything that I inflict on others, is something that I have personally experienced the sensation of (with the exception of the obvious, e.g. penile sounding).

I have been canned, flogged, spanked, paddled, whipped, cut, electrocuted, tortured, skewered, burned, bloodied… The list is quite extensive.

My point is that, regardless of how sadistic I may be feeling at any given moment, I would never put anyone through something which I am not willing to go through myself (even briefly, just to see what it feels like).

In fact, it is through diverse experimentation like this that I have figured out that:

• I have a sliver of masochism. However, I am not truly masochistic (I do not derive physical pleasure or relief from pain, however I do understand it and I do consider it a bit fun on occasion if the mood and setting is complimentary, e.g. Touching nipple to nipple when using a violet wand body contact pad with the setting turned on full so you have the effect of sparks or lightning passing between the nipples).
• I am incredibly sadistic (I derive physical and intellectual pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on others. I have also discovered that part of what makes me better at inflicting pain is the fact that I study human anatomy/biology and that I personally experience and research each activity).
• I am naturally and instinctively far more dominant than submissive (I am also in the firm belief, through years of sociological D/s experiences and encounters, that everyone has at least a little of both in them; despite some Dominants claiming that they are 100% “everyone on the planet should kneel before me” dominant).

Call it an ethical judgement or personal morality if you like, but my main question is: Why is it that I do not see or hear more peoples stories of experiencing things themselves before inflicting things on others? Has that Dominant in the corner of the club experienced what they are putting that submissive through? Or am I, yet again, part of the minority in that I practice what I preach and inflict?

Responses to this post would be greatly appreciated. I am incredibly curious to know of other peoples stories and opinions on this matter.

Fire poi practice 17/11/12

After an event filled and incredibly fun weekend, I have returned to my Bristol dungeon feeling emotionally replenished.

No doubt I will be writing up a short story or two about some of the antics that my Benjamin and I got up to, but for the moment I simply wanted to highlight the only media footage that we managed to procure during the course of the two days.

As some will know from reading my previous post, ‘Great balls of fire‘, I have always had desires to learn some of the heavier and performance forms of fire play. I have always had a fascination with flame.

When I received a set of basic fire poi for my birthday a few weeks ago, I was eager to start practicing.

So, in the big warehouse at Exodus UK in the latter of a Saturday afternoon, under the watchful gaze of the venues owner (who regularly plays with fire whips), doused in freezing cold water (so the clothing would be significantly less likely to catch aflame), the chill of winter creeping in, my sexy play partner on standby holding a huge water doused towel (ready to be thrown over anything, including me, should the worst happen) and fire extinguishers at the ready; I began my first attempt at the artform of fire poi.

Thankfully, you use them exactly like you would use a set of dual floggers. However my form still looks quite rigid due to the fact that I was “freezing my arse off”.

Here are the videos, part one and part two of the same practice session, taken using my iPhone (hence the limited resolution) by another watchful friend.

Enjoy.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: “Demandez, et l’on vous donnera.”

Translation: “Ask, and you shall receive.” (probably)

Anyone who actually takes the time to get to know me a little will probably tell you that I am far from prudish, that I am outgoing, that I am open minded and that I have a relatively pleasant demeanor despite being quite eccentric (I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society).

Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.

My point is: I am not adverse to hosting workshops or demos at events, I am not adverse to performing on stage, I am not adverse to doing fun BDSM/fetish orientated things for “good” causes or venues and I am definitely not adverse to giving play demonstrations or play tips to people who meet me and make an effort to talk/chat to me at events (just remember that I am often there with my own submissive and partner or for my own reasons, so do not believe this is an invitation to take up my entire evening). Indeed, I have done all of these things and more/others in the past.

There is simply a small price: You must swallow your fear or aversions, approach me, make an effort to talk to me and request it.

If you do not ask, if you do not make your hopes known to me, you will have no chance at all; because I will rarely, if ever, volunteer.

Feeling the eyes.

Whump, whump, whump, whump.

Time tends to slow down when you are in the moment. Everything seems to be in high definition and the only things that matter are the sensations. The sound and wind created by the dual floggers cutting through the air, the scent of sweat and leather, the feel of every impact sending vibrations through the body and the burn that penetrates every muscle from the exertion.

You can feel the eyes on you. The excitement in the air is like a drug. Addictive for an extrovert like myself.

With the beat of the music pumping through the club and influencing motion and impact, it swiftly turns into a dance. Erotic and sensual. This in turn attracts more eyes and the play becomes heavier. More visual. A performance to feed the spectators who are in turn feeding the extroverted desires.

By this point, the only way to stop the cycle is for the music to end. I am having too much fun.

Whump, whump, whump, whump.

With his arms raised and restrained to a Shibari ring that dangled from the ceiling, his back and shoulders are taking the majority of the beatings. Florentine style to be exact. Rash reddened and sore, he will bruise. But he too is being emotionally fed. Everyone is.

He raises his index fingers to the sky. Our prearranged signal that I am pushing beyond his threshold. I am oblivious to it. I know him and what he can take. The music had not stopped yet. He could endure. He ‘would’ endure. Limits are always best when at their extremities.

Now the thuds are louder than the music.

Whump… whump… whump… whump…

As the beat slows, so do the impacts. Breath is heavy. Sweat sheens the skin. The heat is comfortably uncomfortable as the world around phases back.

And then the music ends. I twirl the floggers to untangle them before clipping them to my waist. A spinning motion like a carousel. An elegant way to end. Aesthetically pleasing.

With a sure foot and gentle hip sway, I close the distance towards him to inspect the damage more closely. The skin looks tender. Tempting. Inviting. I gently run my claws down his neck and back. He shivers and groans at the sensation. A perfect finale.

With a short motion, I unclip his wrists and he slumps forward slightly. Drained. He turns, rests his head on my breast and I gently stroke the back of his neck. He had taken more punishment than originally intended. He deserved my gentler touch and aftercare. He had done exceedingly well.

Nothing needed to be said. Actions always speak far louder than any word. He attentively kissed my cheek. A “thank you”.

After a cigarette and a drink, maybe we would go at it again with a new song.

I do so love an audience.