Fire poi practice 17/11/12

After an event filled and incredibly fun weekend, I have returned to my Bristol dungeon feeling emotionally replenished.

No doubt I will be writing up a short story or two about some of the antics that my Benjamin and I got up to, but for the moment I simply wanted to highlight the only media footage that we managed to procure during the course of the two days.

As some will know from reading my previous post, ‘Great balls of fire‘, I have always had desires to learn some of the heavier and performance forms of fire play. I have always had a fascination with flame.

When I received a set of basic fire poi for my birthday a few weeks ago, I was eager to start practicing.

So, in the big warehouse at Exodus UK in the latter of a Saturday afternoon, under the watchful gaze of the venues owner (who regularly plays with fire whips), doused in freezing cold water (so the clothing would be significantly less likely to catch aflame), the chill of winter creeping in, my sexy play partner on standby holding a huge water doused towel (ready to be thrown over anything, including me, should the worst happen) and fire extinguishers at the ready; I began my first attempt at the artform of fire poi.

Thankfully, you use them exactly like you would use a set of dual floggers. However my form still looks quite rigid due to the fact that I was “freezing my arse off”.

Here are the videos, part one and part two of the same practice session, taken using my iPhone (hence the limited resolution) by another watchful friend.

Enjoy.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: “Demandez, et l’on vous donnera.”

Translation: “Ask, and you shall receive.” (probably)

Anyone who actually takes the time to get to know me a little will probably tell you that I am far from prudish, that I am outgoing, that I am open minded and that I have a relatively pleasant demeanor despite being quite eccentric (I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society).

Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.

My point is: I am not adverse to hosting workshops or demos at events, I am not adverse to performing on stage, I am not adverse to doing fun BDSM/fetish orientated things for “good” causes or venues and I am definitely not adverse to giving play demonstrations or play tips to people who meet me and make an effort to talk/chat to me at events (just remember that I am often there with my own submissive and partner or for my own reasons, so do not believe this is an invitation to take up my entire evening). Indeed, I have done all of these things and more/others in the past.

There is simply a small price: You must swallow your fear or aversions, approach me, make an effort to talk to me and request it.

If you do not ask, if you do not make your hopes known to me, you will have no chance at all; because I will rarely, if ever, volunteer.

Feeling the eyes.

Whump, whump, whump, whump.

Time tends to slow down when you are in the moment. Everything seems to be in high definition and the only things that matter are the sensations. The sound and wind created by the dual floggers cutting through the air, the scent of sweat and leather, the feel of every impact sending vibrations through the body and the burn that penetrates every muscle from the exertion.

You can feel the eyes on you. The excitement in the air is like a drug. Addictive for an extrovert like myself.

With the beat of the music pumping through the club and influencing motion and impact, it swiftly turns into a dance. Erotic and sensual. This in turn attracts more eyes and the play becomes heavier. More visual. A performance to feed the spectators who are in turn feeding the extroverted desires.

By this point, the only way to stop the cycle is for the music to end. I am having too much fun.

Whump, whump, whump, whump.

With his arms raised and restrained to a Shibari ring that dangled from the ceiling, his back and shoulders are taking the majority of the beatings. Florentine style to be exact. Rash reddened and sore, he will bruise. But he too is being emotionally fed. Everyone is.

He raises his index fingers to the sky. Our prearranged signal that I am pushing beyond his threshold. I am oblivious to it. I know him and what he can take. The music had not stopped yet. He could endure. He ‘would’ endure. Limits are always best when at their extremities.

Now the thuds are louder than the music.

Whump… whump… whump… whump…

As the beat slows, so do the impacts. Breath is heavy. Sweat sheens the skin. The heat is comfortably uncomfortable as the world around phases back.

And then the music ends. I twirl the floggers to untangle them before clipping them to my waist. A spinning motion like a carousel. An elegant way to end. Aesthetically pleasing.

With a sure foot and gentle hip sway, I close the distance towards him to inspect the damage more closely. The skin looks tender. Tempting. Inviting. I gently run my claws down his neck and back. He shivers and groans at the sensation. A perfect finale.

With a short motion, I unclip his wrists and he slumps forward slightly. Drained. He turns, rests his head on my breast and I gently stroke the back of his neck. He had taken more punishment than originally intended. He deserved my gentler touch and aftercare. He had done exceedingly well.

Nothing needed to be said. Actions always speak far louder than any word. He attentively kissed my cheek. A “thank you”.

After a cigarette and a drink, maybe we would go at it again with a new song.

I do so love an audience.

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

  1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
  2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
  3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
  4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
  5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.

DV8 Fetish Festival 2012: Overview

As expected, the festival was exceedingly fun.
The first evening, the DV8 club XS party, consisted of greeting old friends, saying hellos and letting my submissive (Benjamin) find his feet. This was his first time seeing public play, so I decided it would be best to make few demands, let him watch the activities of others and to let him decide on his own when he would be ready to play with an audience.
I was in no rush and was planning on a relaxing weekend.
I did get up on the main floor to play with Tempest for a while, but aside from that, my entertainment mainly consisted of friends, conversation and watching my wide-eyed menial take in the atmosphere.

The day of the festival, however, was far more active.

For the majority of the morning and afternoon, I played host at the Kabunza Craftwerks market stand. For our first ever official event I think we did exceptionally well. Lots of business cards were passed around, we received lots of interest and collars, necklaces, bracelets and cuffs were made to measure on the spot for a good number of people.

Shopping at the market was expected, though I did not expect to spend so much or have so much spent on me. I was having an incredible amount of fun testing out the weight and flow of the floggers for sale.

With the approach of the evening: A dip in the pool (Nudity mandatory), lots of conversation and the meeting of more kinksters. But the highlight of the night started with some violet wand play. A friend of mine had brought along his violet wand and graciously allowed me the use of it. It was at this point my menial play partner lost his “finding his feet” immunity and spent the following hour or so being flogged with an electrified mini flogger, having his nipples toasted and generally being zapped for my amusement.

Eventually, my attentions turned towards the electrical arc of the wand. The electrical arc was a lot larger compared to what I had seen in the past. It beckoned attention. Asking my friend to turn it up to full power, I spent half an hour or so attracting a crowd by playing with the currents and lightning. I had an incredible amount of fun with this and it is my hope to visit the home of my friend in the near future in an effort to make a video or two for show on this blog. There was one comment that I overheard about my play that I found most amusing and will never forget: “It looks like the hand of god.”

My proudest moment was when my menial requested to be flogged. It seemed the nudged play with electricity had culled all his butterflies. Using my new dual floggers (freshly purchased from the festival market) I was still eager to play and many people gave compliment to both my technique and my menials stamina. He did very well for his first public play.

I had one request from a random watcher in the crowds. A canning. Which, due to the lack of decent arm room, could only be relatively light. But he seemed to enjoy it immensely.

The festival eventually came to an end with the closing of the DV8 venue at 3:00am on the Sunday morning. It had been a wonderful weekend, it was over far too soon and I find myself already in anticipation for next years event.

Final analysis: Excellent. A much needed and very fun break.

All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: True submission?

True submission is not really a game, nor a thing to do just as a playtime. A true pet does not need sex or BDSM games, these are simply fun ‘options’ which often take a role in the lifestyles of both parties as they are forms of expression.

Fetish is not a prerequisite of submission.

True submission or worship lies in serving someone you care for dearly, giving them your complete trust, admiration and respect and only asking in return for their love. No matter what form that love should take.

Just as I am a Dominant, I often do all I can to please my submissives. This may sound surprising, and granted, I punish as well as please (one needs to teach ones pets right from wrong, in my case there is also the ever present sadistic streak), but I am in the firm belief that the command of a true Dominant is held by not just appeasing themselves, but also by appeasing their pets wish to serve.

Remember this: The best of pets are not just your pet, like any animal, they should also be your best friend.