Introductions: Phobos & Deimos

A little under two weeks ago, Benjamin and I visited the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar and every time we visit; a look over a particular trade stand is mandatory: Jack’s Floggers.

Obviously, my collection of toys is quite vast. I have many. But, it should come as no surprise that the named items in my collection of BDSM weaponry are the items which are not only my favourites and have incredible sentimental value, but that which are also crafted to the insanely high quality which meet my exacting standards. My named items are actually quite few in number (comparatively speaking).

Jack’s Floggers created the majority of my named toys: Sasha & Tempest, Scylla & Charybdis, Pooky and now also Phobos and Deimos. He is possibly my favourite designer and creator of impact play toys.

In fact, the only named toy that I currently own that he has not created is Angele (which was originally created in 1933 by Vitalis and fully restored by Lisa from Bound2Tease.net).

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Phobos and Deimos are the latest additions to my arsenal of named beauties. Lovingly purchased for me by my Benjamin while mandatorily visiting Jack’s trade stand.

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Normally I have my custom items designed from Dymondwood, this set has handles which have been created from my second favoured choice: African Blackwood. The reason for such is because they were not originally custom designed for me, I simply fell in love with them upon sight.

Phobos and Deimos are what I normally refer to as ‘detached’ floggers. Which means that the falls are detached from the handle by a short length (in this case, a 3 inch detachment of platted leather followed by 16 inches of soft but heavy, full suede falls).

Named after the mythological twin offspring of the Greek god or war (Ares) and the Greek goddess of beauty (Aphrodite), Phobos (fear) and Deimos (dread) were said to accompany their father into battle (for my geeky readers: the two moons of Mars bear the same namesake).

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They pack quite a lovely thud. I am still applying┬átreatments of moisturising cream to Benjamin‘s back to sooth the impact dehydration from that evening of public floggings (though I will admit that he received quite a lot of punishment that night).

Without a doubt: Worthy of their names. Thankyou my sweet Benjamin. I love them.

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A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: What is the difference?

Recently I was asked what the difference is between a professional Dominatrix and a lifestyle Dominatrix. I thought my reply was worth posting to blog and I have thrown financial Domination in the mix as well because this has also been asked of me in the past:

A financial Dominatrix has no skill in any of the BDSM arts. They are not a true Mistress, they simply pose as one. It is unlikely you will meet them anywhere apart from online. All they will do is demand that you give them money or pay their bills. They demand cash in exchange for nothing (aside from possible verbal abuse or online humiliation).
These people tend to give professional Domination a bad name because many people fail to differentiate between financial and professional Domination as there are quite a few professional Dominants who practice financial Domination.
I personally loath this practice. In my opinion they are on a par with beggars or ‘spongers’. I believe that money given should be money earned and I class financial Dominants as lower than pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.

A professional Dominatrix is basically one who plays in a dungeon with a paying client. The client has a fetish, kink or BDSM fantasy and would like to act it out. It is a form of drama therapy and while it may be erotic or sensual, there is never any sex ( if sex is involved then they are a prostitute, not a Dominatrix).
The majority of professional Dominatrices have a normal life when they leave the dungeon (When I say majority, I can only comment on my own experiences and acquaintances. Around 90% of all I have met. And when I say normal, I mean of course a vanilla existence). They do not spend a large portion of their life studying BDSM practices. They have a very basic knowledge of the equipment, normally what they have been told by friends, played with in the bedroom, have seen on TV or what they may have had shown to them by other Mistresses or submissives at their dungeon of residence. This level of skill coupled with common sense and safety is often enough to deal with a large portion of paying clients. Most clients have a very generalised fetish (often something they have seen on television or on the internet) which tend to be very simple to do. They do not often attend BDSM events or clubs because they consider the play their job and there is no profit in attending such places.
I must stress that this opinion is based solely on the professional Dominants that I have met. The other 10% tend to be incredibly skilled because they are usually both lifestyle as well as professional. The key is, of course, noticing this before passing judgement simply on their choice of profession. The lifestyle professionals tend to do it for a living because they love BDSM so much.

A lifestyler (or lifestyle Dominatrix, if you prefer) is one who does it because they love it. It is part of their everyday life. They often go to great lengths to get high quality or specialised equipment (I rarely use the equipment on show in the dungeon as I prefer my own) and they spend a great deal of time learning the skills involved in their chosen BDSM activities. They tend to attend the events, clubs and venues because it is their passion and not simply a job.

Essentially it comes down to this: Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand (and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so. Of course, this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh), give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and (9 times out of 10) she will show you how to hit someone with it for money, give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger (preferably someone that has a few years experience) and she will show you how to make it dance.

There is a lot of information on the internet about the differences. These are of course just my own observations and opinions. I am forever hoping to have these opinions improved upon, but this is how they stand to date.

I am both lifestyle and professional. I am of the minority. I do this for a living next to my small business (even my small business is BDSM orientated) and it has been my passion and a major part of my life for almost 10 years.

Constructive opinions appreciated if anyone would care to give their own interpretations. Is my opinion flawed?