Event review: Kinkfest UK 2014

Earlier this year, I was asked to take part and teach workshops at the UK’s largest and newest BDSM educational conference and event, Kinkfest UK. To say it was an honour to have been able to take part is an understatement and over the course of its 2 day debut, it quickly became my favorite event of 2014 and one of my favourite BDSM events of this past decade.

Concentrating more on the safety and knowledge aspects of BDSM during the day by hosting a large and very diverse assortment of workshops and classes, while during the evenings having a large environment to practice in and have fun with new-found skills, as well as having live performances of fire play and Japanese rope bondage, Kinkfest UK has it all. In fact, I think the only thing it lacked was a market.

Held in the same venue as they hold the Midland peer rope evenings at the Xtasia club in Birmingham, I ran several flogging workshops over the course of the event and I also managed to get in some very fun rope (photos below). They have expressed wishes to continue Kinkfest UK as a yearly event and I for one really hope they do. This event was simply awesome and given the chance, I would gleefully attend again.

The First flogging workshop on the 26th July:

My playtime while attending the peer rope workshop on the 26th July:

The last flogging workshop on the 27th July:

My rope model and workshop partner for the event: Jitsuka.
Photos courtesy of Kinkfest UK.
Photography by Red Fox Photography.
All images are copyright © KinkfestUK 2014.

Product review: UberKinky Wax Play Candle Pack

Wax play is incredibly fun as a stand-alone kink, it has its own unique mix of sensation and emotion, but it is also one of those forms of play which I have found works brilliantly as an addition to others.

I have found it a beautiful accompaniment to Shibari and Kinbaku (strategically placing candles in the rope which then paint the model with wax while in bondage can invoke some of the most visual of BDSM art as well as produce some of the most intense play scenarios). Even impact play after a little wax play, where you are literally flogging, caning or spanking the wax off the body makes for an incredibly different scenario and plethora of sensations.

When Uberkinky offered me a pack of their specially designed wax play candles to review, I greedily grabbed the pack and started to drool at the thought of where I could add them for best effect (both ‘scenario’ and ‘body cavity’).

One of the things I noticed more than anything else with the UberKinky Wax Play Candle Pack is the quality of the wax itself, they are paraffin based which means they have a tendency to melt a little quicker and feel a little waxier, but more importantly; they produce a wax that is completely devoid of the soot which tends to accumulate with normal candles when you invert them (which, while being a positive attribute for any play, in my opinion, makes them especially good for rope performance on stage where time and appearance are very important factors).

I have also noticed that there is very little in the way of wax evaporation. lots of drippage and body coverage while using only a fraction of the candle and the wax burns at a slightly lower temperature, meaning you can add a larger range of sensation without feeling as though you are about to unpleasantly burn off a layer of sensitive skin.

The only downside that I can think of is the fact that they are colour dipped instead of a solid colour. The center of the candle is a white wax that takes on the colour of the candles dipped shell as it melts, which, while adding colour to the dripping wax, means that the dripped wax on the body is not as vibrant a colour as the candle itself. It is only a small downside, but a downside nonetheless. I still think the positive value of these candles far outweigh that single noteworthy negative.

As an added bonus for people who are new to this form of play, Uberkinky has written up the Beginner’s Guide To Wax Play which gives tips on safety, aftercare, how to get started and much more. Worth a peek 😉

Kabunza: Chocolate Decadence

I had to do it sooner or later: The first matching set of BDSM impact play toys by Kabunza.

When I originally decided to start building a matching set, it was also going to include a matching collar, wrist and ankle cuffs, and a necklace for the Dominant that would have the key to the collar and cuffs as a pendant. Then I realised that the amount of cash I would end up needing to charge someone for all of that, and the matching toy collection as well, would likely be outside the range of a standard budget (not to mention incredibly hefty in materials and time consuming on my part).
So, despite being able to do it (who knows, I may get a custom order for such a set in the future), I decided to simply stick with a collection of impact toys.

This first matching collection brings about the introduction of Dragon Tails into our range of BDSM products. Which, despite being one of the more difficult items to incorporate chainmail into, seems to have turned out rather nicely. I have personally tested the design and I am more than happy with the results. These things pack a thrilling sting, feel lovely in the hand and, at the same time, are very aesthetically pleasing.

Anyway, let us get down to the details:

“Chocolate Decadence” BDSM Impact play set:

This set consists of 5 items in total: A pair of Kabunza Poi Floggers, A pair of Kabunza Nunchaku Floggers and a Kabunza Dragon Tail.

Details of the “Chocolate Decadence” Poi Floggers:
These have a hefty total length of 28 inches from tip to tip. They give a wonderful “thuddy” experience.
Statistics:
18 inch European chocolate suede leather falls (1 centimeter in width).
5 inch length of solid bronze “Box Chain” weave chainmail (8mm rings) chain.
Black Italian goat skin leather Turks head embellishes.
European chocolate suede poi finger loops.

Details of the “Chocolate Decadence” Nunchaku Floggers:
These have a hefty total length of 28 inches from tip to tip. Clearly a flogger for the discerning connaisseur. On an additional note: These floggers will never tangle due to the ball bearing swivel.
Statistics:
16 inch European chocolate suede leather falls (1 centimeter in width).
3 inch length of solid bronze “Box chain” weave chainmail (8mm rings) chain.
Black Italian goat skin leather Turks head embellishes.
8 inch Black ‘Chinese red oak’ wood Nunchaku handles with engraved, European chocolate suede leather embellished, grip.
Plated steel ball bearing swivel connection.

Details of the “Chocolate Decadence” Dragons Tail:
The newest addition to the Kabunza arsenal: The Dragons Tail. With a flickable length of over 35 inches, this tail comes with a guaranteed sting which will, no doubt (we hope), be administered with love.
Statistics:
25 inch European chocolate suede tail.
10 inch handle containing a solid pinewood core, layered inside the leather of the tail (this is a single length of leather) to assure strength and have the added bonus of a very comfortable grip.
Embellished and strengthened further with solid bronze “European 4:1” chainmail and waxed black cotton cord.

Why did I decide on the first set being something other than black? Because I wanted to do something different. Something a little ‘Steampunky’ and something that incorporated Bronze instead of the more commonly used metals.

Our aim as a business is (and always will be) to bring only the pinnacle of quality and craftsmanship to the table while also standing out from the crowd, avoiding the norm (even amongst the kink) and to be unquestionably unique.

I think this first matching set (of what will hopefully be many) pulls off all of those aspects rather nicely.

The set has been given a name for a reason; this set is one-of-a-kind. I have no more of this type of suede leather and I doubt I will be getting any more bronze rings unless specifically requested for other custom creations.

It is now available for sale in our Etsy shop and I wish any potential buyers the best of luck in attaining it. Once it is sold, it will be incredibly unlikely that I will ever have the similar materials to build another.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Fruit flies like a banana

When I started this blog on the 22nd November 2011, I never expected much from it. I had never been much of a ‘blogger’ and most of what I was doing back then remained invisible to anyone outside of my circle.

They say “Time flies like an arrow” (and “fruit flies like a banana”) and indeed it has; this past year (and a bit) has pretty much been a whirlwind farrago of kink.

In fact, the kink has been such a distraction that I had forgotten to create this post back in the November of 2012.

So here it is! Enjoy these moments when they happen because they do not happen often and it is better late than never.

I wish to send out heartfelt thankyou’s:

Firstly to my blog followers: 161 to date and steadily growing. You people are the lifeblood of this little nook of the web. Without you all, this place would die a pitiful death rather quickly. Thankyou for helping me to realise that doing this blog is not (and has not been) a waste of effort (and if you are not a follower, Why the hell not?).

To those who have commented on this blog: Comment and critique is always welcomed and appreciated. These are the things which offer possibilities to learn, grow, feel appreciated and even meet new acquaintances. Thankyou for having the courtesy to comment or the ‘balls’ to critique.

To those who have clicked the ‘Like’ button on any of my posts: It takes a matter of a second to click that button, and every time it is clicked I know that my efforts are being enjoyed by someone, somewhere on this wretched cesspool of a planet that we live on; Which is one of the reasons for doing this blog in the first place (I also get a warm fuzzy feeling every time I get that little resounding ‘ding’ that says someone has clicked the button. Think of clicking that button as flicking a nipple; it gives a wonderful, though short lived, little buzz of sensation which is highly addictive).

To those who have signed up to my Facebook fan page or following my Twitter by using the links through this blog: I am still (very slowly) starting to realise that for a lot of people, Facebook or Twitter are the only online social networks that they will ever choose to participate in. These social network sites would probably get more of my attention if I had more of a following on them or if they were not so mundane. It is a way to follow this blog without actually ‘following’ this blog, but it is still appreciated. I will do my best to make visits to these profiles more frequently, but in the meantime; thanks for the love.

To my partner: Who convinced me to start this thing in the first place. Love you baby. x

To my Benjamin: Without his help, support and encouragement, a very large portion of what has been written this past year would not have been written. It takes two to play and I am very lucky in that respect. Thankyou my sweet sweet Benjamin.

So, in summary: I plan to make this next years allotment of postings as entertaining as the last (moreso when possible) and hopefully I will get posts out on time in the future.

Product review: Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit

Recently, I have been contacted by a company known as Uberkinky and requested to test and review some of their kink and fetish related products in my dungeon.

Having experience in most areas of kink and a steady supply of willing menials to inflict the said equipments on due to my professional services, I must have seemed a logical choice as a product tester.

Of the first 6 options for testing, I decided to go with the Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit. This Item looked similar to a Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) unit and having had some fun in the past with my dungeons TENS unit, including using it for forced masturbation (long story), I thought it would be good for a starter review.

Seemingly grateful that I had agreed to take on this project for them, they also sent me some MAWA Klamps to have a bit of fun with.

Without further ado:

Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit:

My original assumptions were correct, the UFFSTK is basically a low setting TENS unit designed to therapeutically stimulate nerves with electrical currents. In essence, causing sensations similar to vibrating, tickling, pulsing and on the higher settings, pinching and mild pain.

Overall, I could not find any downside to the product save for not being supplied with batteries. The pads are easy to clip on and the unit takes less than a minute to set up and use. The pads have a thick layer of strong yet comfortable adhesive which is wipe clean and easily reusable. The unit itself is pocket size and easily slipped into a stocking top or pocket should you wish your hands free to play with other sensations or tools while the unit is active and the cables are long enough to keep movements unrestricted. All in all, a fun little machine which is suitable for both bedroom and dungeon play.

One thing I must stress though: This toy is nowhere near as powerful as some of the E-stim, iStim or other similar TENS unit type products, However, it is also nowhere near as expensive as those. In my opinion it is the perfect model for beginners, bedroom BDSM or for people who want to experience a few of the electrical nerve stimulation sensations before going out and getting one of the stronger options.

MAWA Klamps:

I was not asked to review these, but I love these things.

Little clamps which can be pinched anywhere on the body. They have little indents which make them easy to open and close, a soft rubber coating over the tips to make them a little easier to handle if on the receiving end as well as creating a non-slip surface to make sure that when applied, they stay put.

Multiple uses, always handy for any BDSM orientated play, very fun.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: FAQ

Every day I receive phone calls, emails and messages asking me countless questions that all have a single and very simple answer.

Examples:

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

Q. How much does it cost to have a professional play session?
A. Read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. What kind of things do you get up to in your dungeon?
A. Read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/short-stories/

Q. What is the minimum amount of time I can have for a play session?
A. Just read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. What kind of fetishes are you skilled in? Can you do…(insert selected fetish/kink here)
A. For crying out loud! Read my blog!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. Can you teach me how to…(insert selected skill here)
A. Read. My. Blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/08/18/so-you-want-to-be-a-professional-dominatrix/

Q. What do you look like? Could I have a description of you?
A. How did you even manage to get my phone number or email if you had not visited my website or one of my numerous online profiles? All of which have galleries, just like here, ON MY BLOG!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/gallery/

Q. What do you mean when you call people ‘mundane’?
A. Mundane, in my case, often refers to the vanilla or boring. However, I am considering expanding it to include people who do not read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/mistresses-meanings/

Q. Do you have a webcam? / Do you do online domination?
A. What is it that is not being understood?:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/this-is-not-a-fallacy-i-am-online/

Q. Are you looking for a full time submissive?
A. Take your pick of blog posts:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/procuring-perminance/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/10/11/introductions-benjamin/

Q. When and where is your next public event?
A. READ THE DAMN BLOG!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/wheres-mistress/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/events/

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

This blog post is, of course, completely superfluous as it will probably not be read by any of the ignoramuses who continue to ask these kinds of questions.

People need to make at least a little effort.

Kinbaku and Shibari: Private tuition with Esinem and Nina Russ – 14/10/12

From the 12th October -14th October, Benjamin and I spent the weekend in London under the tuition of the Shibari and Kinbaku professionals : Esinem and Nina Russ.

Rope play has always been an interest of mine (unfortunately, having claws can make it difficult to master effectively; ergo, I have never done advanced courses), but when Benjamin was introduced to images and movies of it, he fell in love with the artform and expressed a huge desire to learn it. I, in turn, have nurtured this desire (as well as offering to be his practice model) and after several months of play, practice and research, higher learning for him was inevitably required.

When it comes to any form of bondage, especially rope bondage, safety and knowledge is paramount. I highly recommend that it is not attempted without at least being taught the basics, either by research using the internet or books, or by attaining the services of an experienced teacher. There are many aspects to take note of during this kind of play; including asphyxiation and nerve damage. Do not be an idiot; Play safely.

To this end we contacted Esinem for his offer on residential private tuition and made plans to visit him at his home and studio in London for an intensive training course to further our learning.

After copious hours of practice and training with both Esinem and Nina Russ (living and breathing rope bondage for three days), I personally have developed a great respect for the rope bondage models that you see in all the images across the internet. I make it a personal rule to experience anything that I intend to put anyone else through (this is true for all forms of BDSM play that I practice). This kind of bondage can be incredibly painful (especially rope suspension). For me, the weekend was a significant learning experience which tested my endurance and stamina to great lengths. For Benjamin; well, let us just say he has returned from the experience with a slightly frazzled brain from taking in so much information, sore fingers from extensive use of the rope and a significantly vaster knowledge of the artform (as well as his own set of Asanawa Tossa Lite 6mm Jute ropes, a birthday present from me and my partner).

We do plan on having further private tuition with Esinem and Nina in the near future, but we must first put what we have learned over this last weekend into frequent practice. This kind of skill takes a great amount of time and dedication.

Thanks to the wonderful Nina Russ, I also experienced full rope suspension. Another thing which I do not recommend unless in the hands of an experienced and well practiced individual. To quote Esinem’s website:

“As safety is a prime concern, please be aware that, like so many good things in life, there is always possibility of accidental injury. Rope suspension is undoubtedly edge play and should only be undertaken by those who are physically and mentally up to the challenge. Suspension is safe but not without risk, regardless of proficiency or experience, so is definitely RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) rather than entirely SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual). The more extreme suspensions require a high degree of fitness and often a reasonable pain threshold, so don’t imagine everyone can do what professional models make look easy!”

Luckily, I was physically and mentally adequate, however, as I mentioned earlier in this blog post, the whole weekend experience (full suspension, partial suspension and constant floor practice) has given me a profound respect for rope bondage models. It is definitely not easy.

Despite the aches and pains that I was suffering by the end of the weekend and despite the fact that I am not naturally submissive, I could not resist the chance to be tied up and partially suspended by the man himself.

Enjoy the photos.

 

All photography is unedited.

Photos courtesy of Esinem and Nina Russ.
Photography by Nina Russ.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

Introductions: Benjamin

UPDATE: As of 19/02/14, Benjamin and I have went our separate ways and are no longer play partners.

At the beginning of this year, purely by chance, a wandering soul entered my realm. His eagerness to test and try new sensations and activities brought him to me. He called himself Benjamin.

At first, I did not differentiate him from anyone else who had came to me with curiosities. Why would I? I did not realise at the time just how deep things would go, or how fast.

It was not long before our play became a regular occurrence and soon afterwards, a strong D/s bond started to take effect. This in turn developed over the  months into closeness, trust and more until I finally began classing him as ‘My’ submissive in the July of this year.

This was an incredibly big deal and I will explain why:

Back in 2006, I released my last submissive of her station and role obligations (She became my partner and as many who read my blog may know, a constant D/s relationship does not always work full time); I essentially made a decision to keep D/s as play or work and to limit submission permanence.

I made a list of prerequisites and conditions so that if ever I was to take on another permanent submissive, they would need to be exceptional. Perfect not just for me but also for my partner and my lifestyle. Much of this list can be seen in a previous blog post of mine named: Procuring permanence.

In almost 6 years, nobody had ever managed to get past step three.

Benjamin is on step five. So I am in the belief that this blog post is overdue, and today is his birthday; ergo, an excellent day for introductions?

But he has grown to be more than simply my submissive. He is also my play partner (the D/s is not constantly in effect) and he has also grown to be my closest friend.

You can read his fetlife profile: Here. But for those who do not have a fetlife account, I will relay his written profile below:

I had always enjoyed the kinkier side of sex and this is what drew me towards BDSM.
I decided that if this was a journey that I wanted to take I should experience first hand what it feels like to be submissive and hopefully learn from it. I believe that you need to learn what pleasures and pain can be received from different aspects of play before you attempt to inflict them on others.
It was through this curiosity and wish to learn that I met Mistress Aemilia Hawk.

Personally, I think that it takes a lot of courage and trust to be truly submissive. In my eyes, if a Mistress/Master does not have respect for there submissive, they are truly not what this lifestyle is all about and do not deserve the title.
I quickly learned that Mistress Aemilia was the only person who I could offer submission to. She pushes my boundaries and is worth the effort. It has certainly been an amazing journey so far and I would say that I have learned a lot about myself.

I never expected BDSM or Mistress Aemilia to become so large a part of my life. It has been almost a year now that we have been exploring and playing together. I have mentioned on occasion that I have felt spoiled by her knowledge and skill. She has very high standards and over 10 years of experience. Setting the pedestal so high from the beginning has forced me to learn incredibly quickly. I am glad that I did and I feel very lucky to have her as my Mistress.

While I have grown to enjoy many forms of BDSM play, including sounding, flogging, violet wand play, CP and knife play.
Recently I have taken a large interest in Shibari and Kinbaku. My Mistress has encouraged this and we are currently exploring it further together.
Kinbaku is visually stunning to watch and a pure art form. But what is most important for me in doing this type of play is the connection between the two people involved. It is much more than just rope play.

I do not know what the future holds, who does?
My Mistress says that “Life is not worth living if you live it like a mundane.”
All I know is that currently, I am happy, content and having a lot of kinky fun.

Benjamin.

No doubt he will be reading this as soon as the post is published. So, to my Benjamin:

“Happy birthday sweet pea, and be in the dungeon at 8:00 pm sharp!”

Photography by Raven Imaging.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: What is the difference?

Recently I was asked what the difference is between a professional Dominatrix and a lifestyle Dominatrix. I thought my reply was worth posting to blog and I have thrown financial Domination in the mix as well because this has also been asked of me in the past:

A financial Dominatrix has no skill in any of the BDSM arts. They are not a true Mistress, they simply pose as one. It is unlikely you will meet them anywhere apart from online. All they will do is demand that you give them money or pay their bills. They demand cash in exchange for nothing (aside from possible verbal abuse or online humiliation).
These people tend to give professional Domination a bad name because many people fail to differentiate between financial and professional Domination as there are quite a few professional Dominants who practice financial Domination.
I personally loath this practice. In my opinion they are on a par with beggars or ‘spongers’. I believe that money given should be money earned and I class financial Dominants as lower than pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.

A professional Dominatrix is basically one who plays in a dungeon with a paying client. The client has a fetish, kink or BDSM fantasy and would like to act it out. It is a form of drama therapy and while it may be erotic or sensual, there is never any sex ( if sex is involved then they are a prostitute, not a Dominatrix).
The majority of professional Dominatrices have a normal life when they leave the dungeon (When I say majority, I can only comment on my own experiences and acquaintances. Around 90% of all I have met. And when I say normal, I mean of course a vanilla existence). They do not spend a large portion of their life studying BDSM practices. They have a very basic knowledge of the equipment, normally what they have been told by friends, played with in the bedroom, have seen on TV or what they may have had shown to them by other Mistresses or submissives at their dungeon of residence. This level of skill coupled with common sense and safety is often enough to deal with a large portion of paying clients. Most clients have a very generalised fetish (often something they have seen on television or on the internet) which tend to be very simple to do. They do not often attend BDSM events or clubs because they consider the play their job and there is no profit in attending such places.
I must stress that this opinion is based solely on the professional Dominants that I have met. The other 10% tend to be incredibly skilled because they are usually both lifestyle as well as professional. The key is, of course, noticing this before passing judgement simply on their choice of profession. The lifestyle professionals tend to do it for a living because they love BDSM so much.

A lifestyler (or lifestyle Dominatrix, if you prefer) is one who does it because they love it. It is part of their everyday life. They often go to great lengths to get high quality or specialised equipment (I rarely use the equipment on show in the dungeon as I prefer my own) and they spend a great deal of time learning the skills involved in their chosen BDSM activities. They tend to attend the events, clubs and venues because it is their passion and not simply a job.

Essentially it comes down to this: Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand (and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so. Of course, this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh), give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and (9 times out of 10) she will show you how to hit someone with it for money, give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger (preferably someone that has a few years experience) and she will show you how to make it dance.

There is a lot of information on the internet about the differences. These are of course just my own observations and opinions. I am forever hoping to have these opinions improved upon, but this is how they stand to date.

I am both lifestyle and professional. I am of the minority. I do this for a living next to my small business (even my small business is BDSM orientated) and it has been my passion and a major part of my life for almost 10 years.

Constructive opinions appreciated if anyone would care to give their own interpretations. Is my opinion flawed?

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.