A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Update 09/06/14

My blog has been going through a little neglect as of late due to life being incredibly busy.

Kabunza has moved into its own offices and we are trying to get everything up and running while also trying to keep the business stocked with lots of groovy creations (a Kabunza bullwhip being one of the things currently being tested), I have been going through some serious Japanese rope bondage tuition, a lot of events (many of which I am doing workshops or demonstrations at. See my Events page for listed ones near you), discussions and meetings about possible future photoshoots and talking at BDSM conferences, and this is to name but a few of the things on my list.

But, rest assured, I will be writing blog posts about everything I can as soon as I get some free time to do so!

In the meantime; watch this space, keep safe and stay kinky 😉

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Festive Celebrations

Another whirlwind year is nearing its close and, once again, I extend halfhearted well-wishes to everyone who partake in these overcommercialized holidays.

In all seriousness; Use your holiday time to do something kinky and have a bit of fun. Any time off is an excuse. Eat your Christmas dinner off each others bodies followed by a splash (literally) of mulled wine (tongues were made for licking) and if you want to be really ironic: some vanilla ice cream for dessert. Those candles on the dinner table make great wax play toys, there are some very sexy and kinky Santa outfits (have you been a good girl/boy this year?), a spanking (or flogging) is definitely considered one of the best gifts you can give at Christmas and don’t get me started on the fun places you can put tinsel or the multiple uses of ribbon. Use your imaginations and have fun.

As I said last year: “Do something kinky this Christmas.”

I will kick start 2014 off with my usual ‘Quotations of the year’ post.

Bah humbug and a happy whatever 😉

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Peer whip mob Whipnick 01/09/13

After a wonderfully kinky weekend celebrating friends birthdays (with rope, violet wands and floggers), Benjamin and I joined in on the Peer whip mob Whipnick (like a picnic, but with whips), organised by Alex Cobra in Brent Park in northwest London.

I have had very little experience with whips over 8ft, so when I was handed a 15ft bullwhip: I pretty much spent the rest of the day having a lot of fun practicing with it.

If ever anyone gets the chance, I would highly recommend popping out to Brent Park when they hold a whipnick. There are plenty of whips in all shapes and sizes and everyone is encouraged to have a go (even random vanilla people walking through the park).

It is a good opportunity to grab a bull with both hands to see if you like it.

Quotations: 2012

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2012.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Menial: “Please Mistress! Flog my back, my backside, anything! just not there! Please!”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do you realise how much skill it takes to hit a target that small? This is the best practice I have had in years.”

Menial: “Mistress, I love your teeth, please bite me.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I try to avoid junk food.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “What do you think?”
Friend: “Very nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Where there is a whip, there is a way.”

Menial: “what are your favourite colours, Mistress?”
Mistress Hawk: “Sable, Onyx, Ebony, Coal, Jet, Raven and I sometimes like Black as well.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am actually very good at appearing as though I am paying attention.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I will not recite the rules, but I expect them to be followed regardless.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “My mother said to me, ‘If you join the armed forces, you’ll be a general; if you become a priest, you’ll end up as the first female Pope. Instead, I became a Dominatrix and wound up here.”
Friend: “Though you would probably get more kinky sex if you were the pope.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Quite cramped. No room to swing a cat. Not that I swing cats. Or eat. Trying to cut down. Cholestero- Uhh, morals. I mean morals.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Even evil genius such as mine needs a day or two off on occasion.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not intentionally being funny. I am just instinctively cruel and people think that I am joking.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Politicians: More slippery than catfish in a jar of Vaseline.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra these days than on Alzheimer’s research. By the year 2040 all the elderly will have perky breasts or stiff erections but no idea why.”

Menial: “For some women it is flowers or chocolates or jewelry, What is the quickest route to your heart, Mistress?
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You cannot find a rout to what does not exist”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone has an opinion. Mine just matters more.”

Menial: “You know, Mistress, underneath it all, I think you are quite nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Repeat that disgraceful slander and I will make a stew out of your tongue.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A Mistress is never wrong. Even if they are.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Judging from personal experience, I am fairly certain that ‘pot pourri’ is french for ‘not crisps’.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone fantasises to escape their mundane lives. The difference is that in my line of work, I am the fantasy.”
Friend: “You must get some real perverts.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “If I am lucky.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Your skull, My urinal.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Be a darling and pop my tinny hymen for me.” (in reference to opening a can of ‘Pussy’ energy drink)

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike watching the news and for good reason. They begin by saying something along the lines of ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it is not.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I did not evolve my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Are you frightened?”
Menial: “Yes.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Not nearly frightened enough.”
Menial: “Lord of the rings quote?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “No, common sense when someone as sadistic as myself has you chained to a cross.”

Vanilla/Mundane: “Could I visit your dungeon?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Yes.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “What would happen if I did?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “That would depend on my mood.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “Would it hurt?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Probably.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You are twisted, perverted and sick. I like you.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do like to try everything once, and then once again, and then once again, and then once again.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t worry. It only seems kinky the first time.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I always try to provoke offence. It tends to make the mundane more interesting.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Pray that I never make a promise, for I shall always deliver on it.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Given my insatiable passion for hitting things with other things, it seemed appropriate”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so, of course; this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh. Give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and, 9 times out of 10, she will show you how to hit someone with it for money. Give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger, preferably someone that has a few years experience, and she will show you how to make it dance.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I hope you realise that I will need to punish you for worshiping a false deity.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do so love an audience.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Mine.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “For the love of everything kinky, use what little common sense it takes.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Attempting to imagine what they would have produced in the 1930’s if they had decided to create a violet wand to damage instead of heal has been the subject of recent wet dreams.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do try to avoid cringing when I smile.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go, With a whip and cane to distribute some pain, Hi ho, hi ho-hi ho-hi ho.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “4 teeth surgically removed, 3 of them wisdom. Disappointed. Many told me it was going to be excruciating. Frankly, Kinbaku is more painful.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “This Halloween was incredibly peaceful. Not a single trick or treat’er. When I talked to a neighbor this morning, she said it is because all of the children in the street are scared of the ‘demon lady’ and would not approach my door. I feel like all my years of hard work scaring the crap out of children on Halloween is finally complete.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You tremble, your nerves betray you and I can smell your scent on the breeze. You are oozing fear!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Personally, I like it rough.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do something constructive: Cut out your tongue.”

Festive celebrations

Yet another ‘well wishes’ blog post. The year seems to have passed quickly.

And once again, I am going to get this out of the way now before I forget or lose interest in writing this.

I still find these overcommercialized celebrations difficult to understand. I spent most of yesterday watching mundanes scurry about my local shopping center like cattle. Most were attempting to fill their bags with anything they could grab and pushing the other mundanes out of the way in an effort to do so.

It was all incredibly entertaining to watch, but has only reinforced my belief that they are all simply sheep, following the herd.

Nevertheless:

Merry Christmas, Merry Yuletide, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukkah or happy/merry whatever festive celebration you all partake in at this time of year and a Happy New Year/Hogmanay/Other (especially to those who have made an effort to visit me over the course of this year).

My only hope is that those who are keeping up to date and reading my blog on a regular basis do their best to steer clear of the stampede.

Be different, do something kinky this Christmas.

Something beginning with ‘K’

Recently it has been quite a busy time for me and mine. We have attended about 6 events in the past two weeks, hence why there has been such a delay in blog posts.

One form of our play that has lately been taking a large portion of our attention is Kinbaku.

In this post I am going to explain a little about what we go through before, during and after play of this kind. I must stress that these opinions are based solely from our own perspective and experiences.

“Kinbaku, for me, is the only style of rope that is really close to my heart because it is not simply about tying pretty patterns. It is about awakening emotions, senses and arousal. With any other type of rope play; you can tie someone, but with Kinbaku, you must put your heart and soul into it. It’s emotion, it’s connection, it’s control, it’s sensual.” – Benjamin.

Stage 1: Preparation

Before any play can take place, a little preparation is required.

If suspension is going to be played with (which should by no means be done without experience and correct tuition); This equipment needs to be set up, ropes need to be neat and within accessible reach of the playspace (messy ropes can mean play is interrupted with entanglements) and EMT shears (safety scissors) need to be equally accessible.

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“Anybody can tie someone in rope, but the biggest responsibility is being able to tie safely. The ability to read your partners body and signals is paramount. Benjamin can read me so well because of our incredibly close bond, which is reinforced through our other forms of play, but when tying someone for the first time; communication is key.” – Aemilia Hawk.

An aesthetic setting or props (even something as simple as a blanket or mat on the floor) can help set the mood.

Stage 2: Stretching

Stretching is important. It loosens the muscles of the model and lessens the possibility of discomfort or fatigue while in bondage. While the model is stretching, the artist is often going through his/her mind what effects are desired or what is intended to be accomplished during the course of play.

“A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.” – Aemilia Hawk.

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Stage 3: Floor work

The floor work is essentially the start of actual play. Some people prefer a standing start, others prefer seated (of course, each can be utilised for specific or desired effect). The aim of floor work is basically to set the tone and flow of play. It can be violent and rough or soft and sensual depending on the moods and preferences of the play partners (choice of music, if any is used, tends to influence and effect play). This stage is often when all the bondage is applied and readied for suspension, however, sometimes the duration of play can be nothing but floor work and have no suspension at all.

“To me, the floor work is is very important, it is about the closeness, the touch, awakening my partners senses and the choice of how I am going to go about controlling the flow of play. It is building the foundations of the play ahead and even though I am in control, I am sensitive to and guided by Aemilia‘s reactions. It is not about the rope, but how I choose to use the rope. This part of play is what has truly made me fall in love with Kinbaku.” – Benjamin.

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“Personally, I like it rough.” – Aemilia Hawk.

Stage 4: Partial/Full suspension (optional)

If suspension is a desired effect, the rigging is then applied.

WARNING: Partial or full rope suspension should not be attempted without training or tuition and even with such things, it can still be dangerous. Possible injuries can include permanent nerve damage.

“As safety is a prime concern, please be aware that, like so many good things in life, there is always possibility of accidental injury. Rope suspension is undoubtedly edge play and should only be undertaken by those who are physically and mentally up to the challenge. Suspension is safe but not without risk, regardless of proficiency or experience, so is definitely RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) rather than entirely SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual). The more extreme suspensions require a high degree of fitness and often a reasonable pain threshold, so don’t imagine everyone can do what professional models make look easy!” – Bruce Esinem.

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Stage 5: Suspension transitioning (optional)

Some positions are more uncomfortable than others, every model is different and what some will find easy, others will find incredibly difficult. But regardless of the person, It is a good idea to keep the model moving and a bad idea to keep them suspended for lengthy periods of time. This may be as simple as spinning or gently swinging the model while in suspension or even changing (in part or in whole) the suspension itself.

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Stage 6: Back down to earth

If suspended, it is very important to bring the model back to the floor safely (untying the correct lines in sequence to ensure balance is maintained). Even when the main line is removed and there is no attachments to the suspension point, it is the artists responsibility to keep hold of the model until safely on the ground (light-headedness, euphoric emotions or sensory overload can cause the model to collapse easily).

The untying is just as important as the rest of the play. This is where the artist may decide to change the flow of play to opposite of what has been earlier.

“In my case, this point of play is often when I enjoy the more sensual and soft touch. For me, it is an unveiling of the skin beneath the ropes and I often add small touches to our play; like using the ends of the rope to caress or running the rope over sensitive erogenous zones while untying.” – Benjamin.

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Stage 7: Aftercare

Aftercare is important in any form of BDSM play. Rope bondage is painful (especially suspension), despite how easy a model can sometimes make it look. Aftercare can range from a soft and sensual embrace, applying skin creams to marked areas, gentle kisses and all kinds of affections shown. The list of possible aftercare is limitless and is often unique and personal between the play partners themselves. Aftercare should be just as significant as the play itself.

“I know Aemilia goes through a lot, emotionally and physically, during our rope play. The aftercare is an important way of showing my affection towards her. It is my way of saying thankyou.” – Benjamin.

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“I am not naturally a submissive person, but when the play is ending and I am recovering from the exertion and pain; and he warmly embraces me with a stubbly kiss on the neck, I just melt. I have no idea why. It is a unique sensation.” – Aemilia Hawk.

Or maybe, after all I have written here, it may just be a case of Benjamin having ‘Dirty old man’ syndrome and wanting to fondle me when I am lacking the ability to bite back.

He is nodding, so it must be true.

Photography by Raven Imaging.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

Compassionate? Me?

This will be my fifth blogger award nomination. Previous nominations have included:

  1. The Reader Appreciation Award. (Sunflowers… I am glad I can only be nominated once.)
  2. The Beautiful Blogger Award. (I feel pretty, oh so pretty!)
  3. The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. (Naturally.)
  4. The META Awesomest Blog Unicorn Award. (Sparkly pink, I kid you not. Still not over that one.)

This time I have been nominated for the Compassionate Communicator award by Quantumphysica and while I am metaphorically ‘over the moon’ to be nominated, I must say: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Guidelines…

  1. That in awarding it to a blogger you simply link it to one of their blog posts which you feel has personally benefited you in some way (See below).
  2. You give a brief explanation of why you feel it benefited you (See below).
  3. On accepting the award you link back to and thank the person who awarded it to you (Done).

So, without further ado, to the links and reasoning:

  • The Kinky Life of Bowz: A very cute but informative blog written from the perspective of a 23 year old submissive masochist female by the name of ‘Bowz’. Personally, I love it when someone gets into BDSM at such a young age and I think it is excellent how she mixes up good, solid BDSM advice with her own budding exploration and experiences. While her blog is packed with excellent opinions and information, my personal favorite of the posts she has written is about how she believes she is experiencing ‘Anti-brainwashing’: http://bigpinkbowz.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/help-help-im-going-through-anti-brainwashing/
  • Deviant Wench: Written by a married submissive feminist, her blog is filled with stories and opinions on the kinky things she gets up to. Whenever I need a smile on my face, this is the blog I go to. She always makes me laugh; The latest post of hers which made me giggle can be found at: http://deviantwench.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/and-you-may-ask-yourself-well-how-did-i-get-here/
  • Pet Etiquette: A mixture of both vamp and BDSM topics with a nice concoction of shorts, poetry and views. Interesting reading when I manage to spot her new posts. Naturally, despite the post being so short, my favorite of hers is when she mentioned me: http://petetiquette.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/not-bad-i-say/
  • We’re all mad in here: Written by the very lady who nominated me for this award. A blend of pretty much everything goes into her blog; From Etsy.com shop suggestions and letters to her psychiatrist, to poetry and stories about the events in her life (Some BDSM orientated). Every single post is interesting. Every single post will make you think or spark on emotion. I cannot list a favorite because there is so many, so I will just link to her main page and let you all see for yourselves: http://wereallmadinhere.wordpress.com/

Happy reading.