- Disrespect – Respect given is respect earned. Naturally.
- Ignorance – “I can hear you and I know you are talking to me but I choose not to acknowledge you! You do not exist to me! Lalalalalala!” (being interrupted by random people during play, aftercare or when talking also come under this category)
- Lousy liars – If you are going to lie, at least lie properly.
- Thieves – Simple. If it is not yours, be it an idea, a photo, something material or even credit for an achievement or action: THEN IT IS NOT YOURS!
- Cattle – “Follow! Follow! We know not what we are following! Wheeee!”
- Being called a vampire – I am not a vampire! (see #1 and #2)
- Drugs – A lousy excuse for having no imagination. Incredibly stupid when mixed with BDSM (overconsumption of alcohol being the most common I have seen).
- Knowledgelessness (BDSM) – If you are going to be brutal, at least do the decent thing and get creative with it or do something that actually requires some element of knowledge and skill (this would also imply actually having the said knowledge and skill for the use of any tools involved, rather than just grabbing something and hoping that nothing is permanently damaged during its application). Get some learning. Take time to plan. Be consensual and safe. DO THE RESEARCH!
- Trolls – Sad, pathetic and pitiable people who literally have nothing better or constructive to do than slander, criticise and argue online. “Get a life”.
- The fact that I frequently hear and see all of the aforementioned far more than I care to.
Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2013.
Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.
As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.
Aemilia Hawk: “You know something is seriously wrong with your karma when you manage to poke yourself in the eye with a duvet while searching for a chainmail earring that somehow managed to get stuck down the back of the living room radiator.”
Aemilia Hawk: “People may not realise this, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, feigning interest in others, not being able to talk about BDSM as much as I want, putting up with everyday mundane stupidity. It is incredibly exhausting.”
Aemilia Hawk: “There is something about forcing a man up against a wall, shackling his arms and legs wide and forcing cold metal rods down his manhood that I find very erotic.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Ribbed for his pleasure.” (In reference to a sounding rod)
Aemilia Hawk: “If you are going to be a smart-ass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you are just an ass.”
Aemilia Hawk: “You can tell a lot about my mood if you watch my extremities. For example; If my claws are pressed against your throat in a threatening fashion; I am probably annoyed… Or aroused… Or both.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I have made it through the entire morning and only managed to insult two mundanes. I think my people skills are improving.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Quit being so facetious.”
Friend: “I do not know what ‘facetious’ means.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Do you know what ‘Google’ means?”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.”
Dentist: “You may feel a little discomfort.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am a sadomasochist, Sir. I think I have a pretty good idea of when something will inevitably ‘hurt like hell’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “You would be surprised at how fast people can run when they hear the crack of a Longeing Whip a few inches behind their head.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Appreciate what you have, because basically; I am awesome.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Pretty Pooky pleasantly pacificates pectorals, pandemian pallesethesia permitting.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Darth Vader hole invader?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Kin chasa du Jedi!”
Aemilia Hawk: “I suddenly have images in my head from the “Queen of the Damned” movie. Except with floggers and more blood.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, but set fire to him and he is warm for the rest of his life.”
Aemilia Hawk: “When I was a mundane, I spoke as a mundane, I understood as a mundane, I thought as a mundane: but when I became a kinkster, I put away ‘mundanish’ things.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Must you leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Clearly you are not yourself today. I noticed the improvement almost immediately.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Is the vegetarian option 100% real vegetarian? Why are you laughing?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Forged in the fires of Mount Kabunza, there were made rings of power! Fashioned with a secret formula now known only to the makers of hitty things, these fabulous rings gave their users untold powers! Originally, there were twenty in all: six for mastery of the female orgasm, five for rule over erection dysfunction, three for dominion over anyone shorter than 1ft (length, not height), two for the conquering of bad breath, one was lost down the back of a radiator and we can’t get it out, two were recalled for factory defects because they tended to short-circuit in the rain, and THE ONE RING… Which didn’t really do anything, but we kinda liked the way it looked. So they are now mass produced for our floggers.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I still get horrible flashbacks of a tall, grey, bearded guy, pointing a cane and what looks like a BD10 violet wand to the heavens and shouting “YOU SHALL NOT FLOG!” at me.”
Aemilia Hawk: “There are onesies in M&S. Society has finally crumbled.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I absolutely did NOT threaten to punch him. I threatened to spank him.”
Aemilia Hawk: “You need to laugh. Everyone does. What is life if you cannot moon it with a wink and a slightly crooked grin?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t fuck with my chi.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am not saying that you are stupid. I am simply saying that you have extremely bad luck when it comes to thinking.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Of course your opinion matters. Not to me, but I am sure we could find someone suitably empathetic. Have you tried posting it on Facebook?”
Aemilia Hawk: “I would like to apologise in advance for my behavior tonight.”
Rope play has always been an interest of mine (unfortunately, having claws can make it difficult to master effectively; ergo, I have never done advanced courses), but when Benjamin was introduced to images and movies of it, he fell in love with the artform and expressed a huge desire to learn it. I, in turn, have nurtured this desire (as well as offering to be his practice model) and after several months of play, practice and research, higher learning for him was inevitably required.
When it comes to any form of bondage, especially rope bondage, safety and knowledge is paramount. I highly recommend that it is not attempted without at least being taught the basics, either by research using the internet or books, or by attaining the services of an experienced teacher. There are many aspects to take note of during this kind of play; including asphyxiation and nerve damage. Do not be an idiot; Play safely.
After copious hours of practice and training with both Esinem and Nina Russ (living and breathing rope bondage for three days), I personally have developed a great respect for the rope bondage models that you see in all the images across the internet. I make it a personal rule to experience anything that I intend to put anyone else through (this is true for all forms of BDSM play that I practice). This kind of bondage can be incredibly painful (especially rope suspension). For me, the weekend was a significant learning experience which tested my endurance and stamina to great lengths. For Benjamin; well, let us just say he has returned from the experience with a slightly frazzled brain from taking in so much information, sore fingers from extensive use of the rope and a significantly vaster knowledge of the artform (as well as his own set of Asanawa Tossa Lite 6mm Jute ropes, a birthday present from me and my partner).
We do plan on having further private tuition with Esinem and Nina in the near future, but we must first put what we have learned over this last weekend into frequent practice. This kind of skill takes a great amount of time and dedication.
Thanks to the wonderful Nina Russ, I also experienced full rope suspension. Another thing which I do not recommend unless in the hands of an experienced and well practiced individual. To quote Esinem’s website:
“As safety is a prime concern, please be aware that, like so many good things in life, there is always possibility of accidental injury. Rope suspension is undoubtedly edge play and should only be undertaken by those who are physically and mentally up to the challenge. Suspension is safe but not without risk, regardless of proficiency or experience, so is definitely RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) rather than entirely SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual). The more extreme suspensions require a high degree of fitness and often a reasonable pain threshold, so don’t imagine everyone can do what professional models make look easy!”
Luckily, I was physically and mentally adequate, however, as I mentioned earlier in this blog post, the whole weekend experience (full suspension, partial suspension and constant floor practice) has given me a profound respect for rope bondage models. It is definitely not easy.
Despite the aches and pains that I was suffering by the end of the weekend and despite the fact that I am not naturally submissive, I could not resist the chance to be tied up and partially suspended by the man himself.
Enjoy the photos.
All photography is unedited.
UPDATE: As of 19/02/14, Benjamin and I have went our separate ways and are no longer play partners.
At the beginning of this year, purely by chance, a wandering soul entered my realm. His eagerness to test and try new sensations and activities brought him to me. He called himself Benjamin.
At first, I did not differentiate him from anyone else who had came to me with curiosities. Why would I? I did not realise at the time just how deep things would go, or how fast.
It was not long before our play became a regular occurrence and soon afterwards, a strong D/s bond started to take effect. This in turn developed over the months into closeness, trust and more until I finally began classing him as ‘My’ submissive in the July of this year.
This was an incredibly big deal and I will explain why:
Back in 2006, I released my last submissive of her station and role obligations (She became my partner and as many who read my blog may know, a constant D/s relationship does not always work full time); I essentially made a decision to keep D/s as play or work and to limit submission permanence.
I made a list of prerequisites and conditions so that if ever I was to take on another permanent submissive, they would need to be exceptional. Perfect not just for me but also for my partner and my lifestyle. Much of this list can be seen in a previous blog post of mine named: Procuring permanence.
In almost 6 years, nobody had ever managed to get past step three.
Benjamin is on step five. So I am in the belief that this blog post is overdue, and today is his birthday; ergo, an excellent day for introductions?
But he has grown to be more than simply my submissive. He is also my play partner (the D/s is not constantly in effect) and he has also grown to be my closest friend.
You can read his fetlife profile: Here. But for those who do not have a fetlife account, I will relay his written profile below:
I had always enjoyed the kinkier side of sex and this is what drew me towards BDSM.
I decided that if this was a journey that I wanted to take I should experience first hand what it feels like to be submissive and hopefully learn from it. I believe that you need to learn what pleasures and pain can be received from different aspects of play before you attempt to inflict them on others.
It was through this curiosity and wish to learn that I met Mistress Aemilia Hawk.
Personally, I think that it takes a lot of courage and trust to be truly submissive. In my eyes, if a Mistress/Master does not have respect for there submissive, they are truly not what this lifestyle is all about and do not deserve the title.
I quickly learned that Mistress Aemilia was the only person who I could offer submission to. She pushes my boundaries and is worth the effort. It has certainly been an amazing journey so far and I would say that I have learned a lot about myself.
I never expected BDSM or Mistress Aemilia to become so large a part of my life. It has been almost a year now that we have been exploring and playing together. I have mentioned on occasion that I have felt spoiled by her knowledge and skill. She has very high standards and over 10 years of experience. Setting the pedestal so high from the beginning has forced me to learn incredibly quickly. I am glad that I did and I feel very lucky to have her as my Mistress.
While I have grown to enjoy many forms of BDSM play, including sounding, flogging, violet wand play, CP and knife play.
Recently I have taken a large interest in Shibari and Kinbaku. My Mistress has encouraged this and we are currently exploring it further together.
Kinbaku is visually stunning to watch and a pure art form. But what is most important for me in doing this type of play is the connection between the two people involved. It is much more than just rope play.
I do not know what the future holds, who does?
My Mistress says that “Life is not worth living if you live it like a mundane.”
All I know is that currently, I am happy, content and having a lot of kinky fun.
No doubt he will be reading this as soon as the post is published. So, to my Benjamin:
“Happy birthday sweet pea, and be in the dungeon at 8:00 pm sharp!”
Photography by Raven Imaging.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.
This will be my fifth blogger award nomination. Previous nominations have included:
- The Reader Appreciation Award. (Sunflowers… I am glad I can only be nominated once.)
- The Beautiful Blogger Award. (I feel pretty, oh so pretty!)
- The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. (Naturally.)
- The META Awesomest Blog Unicorn Award. (Sparkly pink, I kid you not. Still not over that one.)
This time I have been nominated for the Compassionate Communicator award by Quantumphysica and while I am metaphorically ‘over the moon’ to be nominated, I must say: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”
- That in awarding it to a blogger you simply link it to one of their blog posts which you feel has personally benefited you in some way (See below).
- You give a brief explanation of why you feel it benefited you (See below).
- On accepting the award you link back to and thank the person who awarded it to you (Done).
So, without further ado, to the links and reasoning:
- The Kinky Life of Bowz: A very cute but informative blog written from the perspective of a 23 year old submissive masochist female by the name of ‘Bowz’. Personally, I love it when someone gets into BDSM at such a young age and I think it is excellent how she mixes up good, solid BDSM advice with her own budding exploration and experiences. While her blog is packed with excellent opinions and information, my personal favorite of the posts she has written is about how she believes she is experiencing ‘Anti-brainwashing’: http://bigpinkbowz.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/help-help-im-going-through-anti-brainwashing/
- Deviant Wench: Written by a married submissive feminist, her blog is filled with stories and opinions on the kinky things she gets up to. Whenever I need a smile on my face, this is the blog I go to. She always makes me laugh; The latest post of hers which made me giggle can be found at: http://deviantwench.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/and-you-may-ask-yourself-well-how-did-i-get-here/
- Pet Etiquette: A mixture of both vamp and BDSM topics with a nice concoction of shorts, poetry and views. Interesting reading when I manage to spot her new posts. Naturally, despite the post being so short, my favorite of hers is when she mentioned me: http://petetiquette.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/not-bad-i-say/
- We’re all mad in here: Written by the very lady who nominated me for this award. A blend of pretty much everything goes into her blog; From Etsy.com shop suggestions and letters to her psychiatrist, to poetry and stories about the events in her life (Some BDSM orientated). Every single post is interesting. Every single post will make you think or spark on emotion. I cannot list a favorite because there is so many, so I will just link to her main page and let you all see for yourselves: http://wereallmadinhere.wordpress.com/
Recently I was asked what the difference is between a professional Dominatrix and a lifestyle Dominatrix. I thought my reply was worth posting to blog and I have thrown financial Domination in the mix as well because this has also been asked of me in the past:
A financial Dominatrix has no skill in any of the BDSM arts. They are not a true Mistress, they simply pose as one. It is unlikely you will meet them anywhere apart from online. All they will do is demand that you give them money or pay their bills. They demand cash in exchange for nothing (aside from possible verbal abuse or online humiliation).
These people tend to give professional Domination a bad name because many people fail to differentiate between financial and professional Domination as there are quite a few professional Dominants who practice financial Domination.
I personally loath this practice. In my opinion they are on a par with beggars or ‘spongers’. I believe that money given should be money earned and I class financial Dominants as lower than pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.
A professional Dominatrix is basically one who plays in a dungeon with a paying client. The client has a fetish, kink or BDSM fantasy and would like to act it out. It is a form of drama therapy and while it may be erotic or sensual, there is never any sex ( if sex is involved then they are a prostitute, not a Dominatrix).
The majority of professional Dominatrices have a normal life when they leave the dungeon (When I say majority, I can only comment on my own experiences and acquaintances. Around 90% of all I have met. And when I say normal, I mean of course a vanilla existence). They do not spend a large portion of their life studying BDSM practices. They have a very basic knowledge of the equipment, normally what they have been told by friends, played with in the bedroom, have seen on TV or what they may have had shown to them by other Mistresses or submissives at their dungeon of residence. This level of skill coupled with common sense and safety is often enough to deal with a large portion of paying clients. Most clients have a very generalised fetish (often something they have seen on television or on the internet) which tend to be very simple to do. They do not often attend BDSM events or clubs because they consider the play their job and there is no profit in attending such places.
I must stress that this opinion is based solely on the professional Dominants that I have met. The other 10% tend to be incredibly skilled because they are usually both lifestyle as well as professional. The key is, of course, noticing this before passing judgement simply on their choice of profession. The lifestyle professionals tend to do it for a living because they love BDSM so much.
A lifestyler (or lifestyle Dominatrix, if you prefer) is one who does it because they love it. It is part of their everyday life. They often go to great lengths to get high quality or specialised equipment (I rarely use the equipment on show in the dungeon as I prefer my own) and they spend a great deal of time learning the skills involved in their chosen BDSM activities. They tend to attend the events, clubs and venues because it is their passion and not simply a job.
Essentially it comes down to this: Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand (and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so. Of course, this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh), give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and (9 times out of 10) she will show you how to hit someone with it for money, give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger (preferably someone that has a few years experience) and she will show you how to make it dance.
There is a lot of information on the internet about the differences. These are of course just my own observations and opinions. I am forever hoping to have these opinions improved upon, but this is how they stand to date.
I am both lifestyle and professional. I am of the minority. I do this for a living next to my small business (even my small business is BDSM orientated) and it has been my passion and a major part of my life for almost 10 years.
Constructive opinions appreciated if anyone would care to give their own interpretations. Is my opinion flawed?