A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Blue Skies

As some of my readers will know, I have been lessening my availability for professional domination sessioning.

There have been a lot of reasons for this, but the final proverbial nail is now being hammered into the coffin and I am ending this half-hearted profession in order to concentrate on my own blossoming business: Kabunza.

To be honest, I have grown very tired of the profession and my opinion of it has degraded substantially over the past three years of doing it (I no longer have the time to waste on timewasters).

I will now be devoting my attentions (and my blog writings) to what I consider more deserving; my personal lifestyle and passions of BDSM. however let it be known that I have no regrets. I have learned a lot in doing this kind of work, I have nothing but respect for those who enjoy it and I have even met a handful of decent people in the process of doing it myself.

It has been swell, but the swellings gone down…

Nothing but blue skies from now on.

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A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: An overdue update

As some of you may have noticed; My blog has been lacking in posts this month. There have been several reasons for this and I am going to attempt something of an explanation before rebooting my regular posting.

If you look back over what I have written here this past couple of years, you will see the changes in my writing. When I started my blog it was primarily from a professional Dominatrix point of view; Ergo, it comes across as such. As time progressed, I started to include more and more personal experiences and opinions. I started to include more of my lifestyle and less of the profession. But I have never really posted anything more than things that borderline on ‘feelings’. This is because I closely guard and control those aspects. People will only ever see what I allow them to see, only know what I allow them to know, and I let only a precious few people see the whole picture.

This past few months I have been in deep reflection and meditation. Cracks in my usually steel-like exterior have been apparent to me, comments and actions from people closest to me and unfortunate circumstances of play space or funds have been heavily influential and I have been asking myself questions. Many of which I still do not have answers for. I have been questioning things like my self worth, skill, dynamic, orientation, profession; the list is rather extensive and I have been frustrated and confused by a lot of what has been popping into my head. To say this process is causing me stress is quite an understatement. Hence the silence of my blog.

Inevitably, I have reached an impasse and I am still trying to decide my next direction.

One direction leads down a road that would mean virtually giving up professional Domination, concentrating on Kabunza and on my own BDSM whims and desires. Part of my conflict is that I am feeling a desire to relinquish being the dominant and playing on the other side of the fence (if only for a while). It takes two to play and one of the conundrums is that I am not sure which side I would prefer to play on at the moment. My mindset has apparently reflected this (hence the reasoning for some of the aforementioned questioning). Activities where I have been taking a dominant role have been lacking coordination, despite a complete confidence in myself that I am doing nothing differently. I have experienced similar in the past and have noticed a recurrence of these ‘feelings’ every 3-4 years; I have found that taking a break to get it out of my system by switching helps somewhat (before my Dominant instincts kick back in with a vengeance). Trust me when I say: this is not an easy thing for me to explain, especially on my blog.

The other direction is to do what I do best: Bottle up my emotions, swallow hard, give myself a slap on the face and shout to the heavens “What am I thinking!”, before crushing said whims and forcing myself back into doing what I have always enjoyed; hurting people (with skill, flair and style). Cold to the feelings currently raging, probably fracturing a few heart strings, reverting back to the evil bitch that seems to be known, loved and desired, and basically caring little about the opinions of others because “I am the Mistress and I bloody well know what I am doing!”

Of course, I am unaccustomed to venting randomly or ‘sharing’ thoughts of this nature. I am summing all of this up as simply as possible in order to put it into a blog post. There are hundreds of factors and nuances which I am not going into or which I refuse to share because they are personal or would take too long to explain; But I hope I am portraying a decent enough idea of my current meanderings.

Regardless of what I decide to do; my blog will be undergoing some alterations. I plan on putting a section in here which is dedicated to Kabunza, compressing my galleries back into a single collection of photos, drastically reducing the amount of information in my ‘bookings & sessions‘ section in order to make things incredibly simple for those requiring it (because for some reason the people who go to that section cannot seem to read past my phone number) as well as numerous other changes which I will elaborate on as the decisions are made.

For the moment; We will resume our regular broadcasting schedule…

Equinelibrium.

Equinelibrium:

English (sort of… Ok, so I made it up).

Etymology:

From Latin equīnus (“of or pertaining to horses”) + lībra (“balance”).

Noun:

equinelibrium (plural equinelibriums or equinelibria)

  1. The psychological balance of a human, usually submissive, who has taken the role of a pony during ponyplay activities; this typically includes wearing tack such as a bridle and bit. Also known as ponyspace or pony headspace.

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Every now and then, I have a ponyplay session down in Kent at the DV8 Leisure center. I always make full use of the 53 acres of private and secluded woodland, and in the warm summer months; it is simply a beautiful place for outdoor BDSM activities.

Now that the sunshine is once again coming out to play, I will admit that; while I may not like the intense light, I am gleefully looking forward to more sunshine fueled ponyplay days.

In the June of last year I managed to get some wonderful photos of some outdoors ponyplay with a human pony that I named Earl Grey (love of tea methinks?), I think they are lovely photos and deserve to be seen, but he has been a little timid about his photos being placed on show and naturally I have been respecting his wishes and keeping them private. A recent email conversation with him has opened permissions to place a couple on my blog. So, a big “thank you” to Earl Grey for the photo use permissions. A blog post introducing ponyplay has been long overdue.

The day consisted of many different activities, from Dressage to Carriage riding. But the two photos you see below are simply images of me “breaking him in” and working a sweat up on him.

The whip was purely an incentive for him to keep moving and never actually struck his body. You would be surprised at how fast people can run when they hear the crack of a Longeing Whip a few inches behind their head.

Earlgrey1

Earlgrey2

If I get the chance this year, I am thinking of a picnic basket filled with French cheeses, bread and a rich red wine; to enjoy after working (to the point of exhaustion) whatever beast(s) of burden are with me.

Oh, and more photos. Definitely more photos.

Photos used with permission.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

Bristol Mini photoshoot 15/04/13

On Monday, I was visited at my dungeon in Bristol by an aspiring photographer by the name of Mark. We had been conversing by way of email sporadically over the course of several months and he had expressed an interest in taking some photos of me. So on the day of his visit, after a chat and a beverage, we wandered down to the local river (literally a minutes walk from my dungeon door) to take a few snapshots. My eyes were constantly watering because I am unaccustomed to a lot of daylight, but of the selection taken these few are my favorites.

Thankyou Mark, it added a bit of fun to my day and as you can see; it put a rather large smile on my face.

IMG_1040_zps0963d69f IMG_1047 IMG_1050ah's fav IMG_1089or.ah's fav normalled cropped IMG_1049_zpse6ce6601 IMG_1048_zps318f8bcb

Photos courtesy of Mark Lawrence.
Photography by Mark Lawrence.
Images are Copyright © 2013 Mark Lawrence.

Concept & Design: Demonic cloven hoof / knee-high boot hybrid

One of the skills required to be a successful Dominatrix is imagination. Without being able to dream up scenarios, tortures, temptations and other sinful activities, a Dominant would not get very far at all. A moderate to high level of wit is a prerequisite to be competent in this kind of lifestyle or profession.

Even with my business: Kabunza, I dream up concepts and creation ideas on a daily basis to be crafted in our workshop.

Back in 2009, I came up with a design for creating a demonic cloven hoof/knee-high boot hybrid. My aim was to add to my already demonic looking persona by extending these features into my clothing. The majority of my clothing was already custom created and I have always preferred deviating as far from the mundane as possible, so this kind of eccentricity in clothing did not seem odd to me at all. I would still wear these if I could ever find someone to make them for me. I also realise the possible ponyplay applications of such footwear, but that is beside the point.

In 2010 one of my very talented artist friends came to live with me for a while, and it was during the course of her stay that we managed to sit down in front of her computer to create a visual representation of my concept. Her name is Linda Jones (formerly Linda Pitman) of www.sheblackdragon.com.

One night, after many glasses of a rather vulgar sweet brandy, we had the basic concept sketches saved to file (which managed to take up about 6 hours of an evening because of the alcohol fueled, sidetracking anecdotes and titllating conversation). We unsteadily motioned to bed at around 4 in the morning with vows to finish up the artwork on the following day, and sure enough, as expected, the next morning we spent a further 3 hours in front of the computer screen finishing up the design art; such is the pace at which we meandered during the course of the 6 month period that she lived with me.

So, because I have recently stumbled across the design amongst my archived files and photos, and because a lot of heart went into the artwork and concept (as well as a lot of expensive brandy), I have decided to publish the design to blog in the hope that one day someone skilled enough might build me a pair.

I will explain in detail each part of the concept: fitting, materials, design etc. But please be aware that I have never been a shoemaker or cobbler, so while I am fairly certain that the design would work and work well, it may still need tweaking in the material options or physical creation side of things.

The images have been watermarked for copyright but they should not get in the way of showing off the design.

Let us start at the base and work our way up to the finished concept. These two images below show the hoof cast part of the construction. The first is what the hoof cast would look like as the foot is slipped inside it and the second is a cut section showing where the foot fits inside the cast.

Aemilias cool demon boofs (hoof cast) copy

Aemilias cool demon boofs (cut section) copy

Basically what is needed is the base of a standard high heel boot (or shoe) with the heel removed and any material from the ankle upwards removed (an inner shoe). The hoof would be cast around this using acrylics or resin. Support is given to the heel using the same materials and would also create the main bulk of the hoof. The space between the outer hoof and the inner shoe would be filled tightly.

The outer hoof needs to be made from a hard material, but a softer and more comfortable material would be better for filling the gap between the outer hoof and the inner shoe. A silicone rubber or something similar would probably be optimal. It needs to be softer but also durable, heavy and quite solid to avoid the foot moving or rubbing on the inside the hoof. The space between the inner shoe and hoof would need to be filled completely and would likely need to be a tight fitting.

The base of the hoof would need a rubber plate or grip to make sure that when walking on a smooth surface such as concrete or hardwood floor, the wearer would keep their footing. Without any grip a person would end up slipping and tripping all over the place (please see the last image in this blog for a diagram of underneath the hoof and what the grip should look like in my opinion).

As you can see from the cut section image, the hoof resin would support the heel quite solidly when combined with the sole of a high heel. However, should more support be needed then a thin metal plate could be shaped and placed between the hoof resin and inner shoe for a stronger support.

Next we look at the leather sleeve.

Aemilias cool demon boofs (final)

The leather sleeve is essentially the upper part (from ankle to knee) of a standard pair of knee high boots with added leather to accommodate the ankles, the heel and to overlap a small portion of the hooves. This upper boot is sewn/attached directly to the foot opening of the hoof resin, roughly where you can see the dashes in the image signifying stitching. A small overlap of leather is then left to flap over the hoof so that the stitching is hidden. This gives the appearance of the hoof being more realistic.

Aemilias cool demon boofs (inner boof) copy

Like any pair of knee high boots there will be a zip on the inside of the leg for ease of wearing and removing. The laces and buckles have a purely aesthetic value and would have nothing to do with the functioning of the finished item.

In this last image we see the design from a slight angle as well as the underside of the hoof to show off the grip.

Aemilias cool demon boofs (outer 3D)

If anyone can help me in the construction of this item, please let me know as I would be very eager to see my design made real. If you wish to use an image or create this design for your own purposes, in part or in whole, please ask. We will most likely be happy to condone it as long as we are fully aware of where and why.

Design and Concept ©2010 Aemilia Hawk. All rights reserved.
Artwork ©2010 Linda M Jones. All rights reserved.

Festive celebrations

Yet another ‘well wishes’ blog post. The year seems to have passed quickly.

And once again, I am going to get this out of the way now before I forget or lose interest in writing this.

I still find these overcommercialized celebrations difficult to understand. I spent most of yesterday watching mundanes scurry about my local shopping center like cattle. Most were attempting to fill their bags with anything they could grab and pushing the other mundanes out of the way in an effort to do so.

It was all incredibly entertaining to watch, but has only reinforced my belief that they are all simply sheep, following the herd.

Nevertheless:

Merry Christmas, Merry Yuletide, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukkah or happy/merry whatever festive celebration you all partake in at this time of year and a Happy New Year/Hogmanay/Other (especially to those who have made an effort to visit me over the course of this year).

My only hope is that those who are keeping up to date and reading my blog on a regular basis do their best to steer clear of the stampede.

Be different, do something kinky this Christmas.