My Birthday: The MDS Halloween Extravaganza 2012

I have always placed a huge emphasis on birthdays. For me, they are the most important reason to celebrate (far more important than Christmas, Halloween or any other religious or fallacy event).

This year (in a kind of ‘last minute’ planning), I decided to visit the Marquis de Sade (MDS) Halloween Extravaganza event in Weston-super-mare to celebrate on my birthday (28th October).

Once the organisers realised that I was the owner of Kabunza Craftwerks and thanks to some very smooth talking by my Benjamin; it was requested that we host a trade stand at the event (despite the fact that all the trade stand slots had already been filled). How could I refuse?

My partner played host at the stand for the majority of the evening. Unfortunately, our stock was incredibly limited due to a lot of recent sales, but I think we managed to put together a decent enough little stall for people to browse through and we always have our order booklet at hand in case anyone wishes to order something specific to be created and posted to them after the event (any order taken at events are always sent to the purchaser postage free).
In case you are all wondering or in case you missed us at the event; You can visit our Kabunza Etsy shop, our Kabunza blog, Kabunza on Facebook or Kabunza on Fetlife by following the links here or in this blog’s side bar.

Also at the event (quite randomly and ‘out of the blue’), I was requested to put on a florentine style flogging demonstration; the Mistress who originally had agreed to do the demonstration was a little reluctant (which is a shame because I rarely get to see others do this style of flogging). It was incredibly unprepared, But again, how could I refuse?

By far, the highlight of the evening was when (unbeknownst to me) Benjamin had arranged for my birthday to be announced over the comm/tannoy and over 100 BDSM Dominants and submissives sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me whilst Benjamin brought out a surprise, candle lit, home made birthday cake.

The majority of the rest of the evening involved a little play with my Benjamin, social mingling and teaching numerous people how to florentine. All in all: A fantastic birthday.

Thankyou’s:

The organisers of MDS: for all their encouragement and flattery, for supplying the photography for this blog post and for allowing us a trade stand when there really was no more room.

My partner: for being there when she is not really into BDSM, for her continuing support and for hosting the Kabunza trade stand; which in turn allowed me to socialise at ease and enjoy my birthday.

My Benjamin: for arranging everything with the MDS organisers when I simply said “Do it”, for the much appreciated surprises, for taking every random beating that I dished out upon him during the course of the evening (all of which were carefully applied aftercare in the form of Savlon cream and cuddles on returning home) and for making my birthday a very special one indeed.

A single power.

He shuddered as he laid on the floor from what he had endured so far. Perspiration was running down his skin and the rope that was binding him was beginning to leave marks.

“You know quite well, deep within you,” I said as I laid down next to him and gently ran a finger around his ear. “That there is only a single power, a single salvation.”

He slowly opened his eyes and looked directly into mine. A delicious look of pleading.

“You call it: Mistress” I said with as innocent a smile I could muster.

“Oh god.” He said as he shut his eyes tightly and turned his head away.

“I will tell you what I have told many.” I whispered as my smile turned into a grin and I leaned in close.” ‘God’ has no place within these walls. This is my realm, my space. If he existed, he would fear to walk here.”

“Please, no more.” He said through wavering breaths.

I slowly stood. “Are you begging me or your ‘god’?”

“You, Mistress, Goddess. Please, no more.”

“Never let it be said that I am not benevolent.” I said as I loosened his wrist restraints just enough to allow the blood to flow again. “Though I hope you realise that I will need to punish you for worshiping a false deity.”

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

  1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
  2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
  3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
  4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
  5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.

A steady hand.

The sound was like running a wet finger over the rim of a crystal wine glass. A steady, single toned hum cutting through the dungeons background music. A Bakes Rosebud Dilator being stroked up the shaft with a moist disinfectant towel. I have come to appreciate the soft echos they make.

I am always meticulous about hygiene, but when it comes to urethral sounding, I am overly cautious. A single speck of dust can cause infection to set in. Every sounding rod is cleaned thoroughly before and after use. It has become a ritual and part of the play. It aroused him every time. There is something incredibly erotic about being chained to a wall while a scantily clad dominant woman strokes phallic shaped metal rods in front of you. He was erect and eager, watching me slowly clean my toys and waiting with anticipation.

“Number 5 and number 6 Bakes, 7/8mm Hegar, Vibrating UD, Wartenberg wheel”, my thoughts while adhering to the ritual sounded oddly mathematic and the medical instruments being laid out neatly on the small, tissue clothed spanking stool next to where he was restrained made it look like I was preparing to operate on his vital organ. I was taking my time and could smell the trepidation building within him, but the look on my face remained peaceful and serene, like nothing was out of the ordinary.

I gently placed the last of my cleaned tools onto the stool and lined it up neatly with the rest. I was ready to begin.

Turning sharply towards him and grabbing his manhood roughly, I leaned in close to his face with my teeth on show. He inhaled deeply and his body went taut as my claws gently prickled his sensitive skin.

“Mine” I growled through a clenched jaw as I tightened my grip.

His voice broke and shuddered as he nervously released the air in his lungs. “Y-yes Mistress”

Keeping eye contact, I gentled my grip and slid my hand up towards his tip, my fingers cradling the meatus of his penis while my other hand grabbed the 7mm Hegar from the makeshift medical table. His arousal was evident and was oozing pre-ejaculate.

I slid the 7mm Hegar sounding rod into his urethra. After months of practice my hand was expert and precise, I no longer needed my eyes to see what I was doing, I simply felt my way along the tract and his natural fluids supplied the lubricant. A slight twist at the bend of the rod and within seconds it was inside at the full length. His eyes widened at having been penetrated so forcefully, surgically and swiftly. His attempts to lean forward were dulled by the restraints and my relaxed facial expression turned to one of smiling pleasure as I held the rod steady and watched him finally give that shaky exhale that I have grown to expect and enjoy whenever something impacts his system.

The first rod is always the simplest. Easy, quick, pleasurably shocking and it stretches the ducts slightly for more complex play later.  His clear liquid oozed through my fingertips as I held the rod in place and with my unsullied hand I lovingly ran my claws through the hair behind his ear.

It was going to be a long and very pleasurable evening.

And I was just getting started.

Hegar Urethral sounds

Bakes Rosebud Urethral Sounds

8mm Vibrating Urethral Dilator (VUD)

Wartenberg Pin Wheels

All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: Why writing?

On numerous occasions I have come across wandering souls who have asked me “Why writing?”, “Why do you put stories on your blog?”, “Will you ever write a book?” or “Are the stories on your blog real?”

Everyone perceives things in totally different ways, some see me as a sinner, some see me as a saint, both are accurate depending on perspective, but my aim is not to please the masses. I was once a writer by profession and these days, my blog is my outlet. It is a way for me to express the things which I would likely find difficult to describe by mere talk and, being an extrovert by nature, a way to reach a substantially larger audience.

My writing will always spark upon memories, experiences or ideas that are intimate and personal, but also very real. All my blog stories are inspired by actual events or activities, things I have said or done either at clubs or shows, socialising or in the dungeons (I never mention names with the exception of my own unless I have consent, discretion is paramount). But how each person views my stories makes little difference. Believe them or not, the main reason I write is to spark an emotion, any emotion, to just allow the people who read them to feel, imagine and possibly fantasise.

For me its about having something to give. Something for those Dominants and submissives who find it difficult to make their fantasies a reality or who live vicariously through others. Something to share with those around me and with anyone who is willing to read.

And if it inspires people to visit me. So be it. Maybe they will get their own little story etched into my blackened manuscripts.

Why do you put stories on your blog?:
To inspire.

Are the stories on your blog real?:
Yes, all inspired by actual events or activities.

Will you ever write a book?:
I am already a published writer, but not of any BDSM works. I will think about it.

Why writing?:
Because I want to. I need no other reason.

Angele in action.

As requested: Some recordings of Angele being used.

Both videos are of stimulation to the neck, shoulders, back and spine. Angele was on her minimal setting.

The first video includes the “Single Eye” electrode and the second includes the “Saturation Tube” Electrode.

I know I say this every time that I post anything on my blog that consists of electrical play in any of its forms. But it is uncanny how many idiots are still alive:
“Please remember to play safely. It is not recommended for people who have a pacemaker, ICD or heart conditions to play with electricity.”

For the love of everything kinky, use what little common sense it takes.

These videos have been published with the consent of the recipient receiving my attentions.

Testing Angele.

Vintage or antique violet wands can be incredibly powerful compared to modern models. With this in mind, I felt it necessary to create a video similar to my previous post which demonstrated a modern violet wand: ‘The violet wand – A demonstration‘.

When I have mentioned in previous posts about the ‘arc’ of a violet wand, I have meant the lightning it generates. With my dungeons modern violet wand, there has not been much of an arc. With Angele, however, as you can see, she generates quite a visual lightning effect.

I have over two years experience playing with electricity devices and violet wands, trust me when I say that using a vintage model like Angele on full power will hurt, regardless of where it touches. Hence why I use myself as the subject for demonstration.

Please remember to play safely. It is not recommended for people who have a pacemaker, ICD or heart conditions to play with electricity. Use your common sense.

Enjoy the video.

Nothing but truth.

In attendance to my local munch (Swindon’s friendly munch 18/07/12) I had stirred curiosity in a couple of the younger mundane locals. Casual conversation ensued with a visit to the taverns outside smoking area. As you do (or as most mundane smokers do, probably).

“You have until I finish my cigarette.” I said as I pulled out and lit a jet black slimline Djarum. “Whatever questions you have in mind, I promise you will receive nothing but truth.”

“May I ask some questions too?” The more vocal of the two queried.

“If you must.” I stated as I blew a plume of smoke in the direction of the quiet one. My eyes stayed on him regardless of who spoke for the duration of the conversation. The quiet ones usually end up being the more interesting.

“You are a Mistress?”
“Yes.”
“Could I visit your dungeon?”
“Yes.”
“What would happen if I did?”
“That would depend on my mood.”
“Would it hurt?”
“Probably.”
“Then why would I want to visit?”
“You will know the answer to that question if you ever decide to visit.”
“Why are you being so mysterious?”
“Perhaps you are just asking the wrong questions.”

There was a short pause as both mundanes looked in thought as to what to ask next.

“Any question at all.” I restated as I gestured casually to the quiet one. My cigarette had roughly reached its halfway point and I gently waved it in front of his face for emphasis. “Your time is running out.”

“I am trying to think of how to word it.” The quiet one said as he shifted shyly on the spot.
“Usually the best way to word something is to simply say it.” I stated with an amused smirk.

The vocal one spoke again.

“Your teeth look very sharp”
“Not as sharp as my claws.” I stated as I held up my empty hand so that he could get a decent look. My eyes were still fixed on the silent one and the slightly amused smirk still played at the corner of my mouth.

“Are they real?”
“Yes, though coated with acrylic resin for strength so that they are functional.”
“Functional for what?”
“What do you think?” I stated as I glanced at the vocal one for the first time since the conversation had started. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled with an open mouth. It seemed as though he was attempting to think of a witty retort but one never came. Instead, he looked to the floor, still smiling. “Time is up.” I said as I glanced back to the quiet one and exhaled the last plume of clove scented smoke.

“Why should I trust you?” The quiet one suddenly said as I flicked my cigarette end into the closest ashtray.
“I offer a safe and legal environment, a gentle introduction and everything is consensual.” I said as I passed him my business card and made my way back towards the bar area.

I stopped in the entrance arch and glanced back to see him looking at the number on my card. “Good question.” I stated with a slightly crooked grin.