Quotations: 2012

Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2012.

You can see the ‘Quotations 2011’ post: Here

Favorite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.

As usual, no names will be mentioned and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.

Enjoy.

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Menial: “Please Mistress! Flog my back, my backside, anything! just not there! Please!”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do you realise how much skill it takes to hit a target that small? This is the best practice I have had in years.”

Menial: “Mistress, I love your teeth, please bite me.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I try to avoid junk food.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “What do you think?”
Friend: “Very nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not sure if that is a compliment or an insult.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Where there is a whip, there is a way.”

Menial: “what are your favourite colours, Mistress?”
Mistress Hawk: “Sable, Onyx, Ebony, Coal, Jet, Raven and I sometimes like Black as well.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am actually very good at appearing as though I am paying attention.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I will not recite the rules, but I expect them to be followed regardless.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “My mother said to me, ‘If you join the armed forces, you’ll be a general; if you become a priest, you’ll end up as the first female Pope. Instead, I became a Dominatrix and wound up here.”
Friend: “Though you would probably get more kinky sex if you were the pope.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Quite cramped. No room to swing a cat. Not that I swing cats. Or eat. Trying to cut down. Cholestero- Uhh, morals. I mean morals.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Even evil genius such as mine needs a day or two off on occasion.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I am not intentionally being funny. I am just instinctively cruel and people think that I am joking.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Politicians: More slippery than catfish in a jar of Vaseline.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra these days than on Alzheimer’s research. By the year 2040 all the elderly will have perky breasts or stiff erections but no idea why.”

Menial: “For some women it is flowers or chocolates or jewelry, What is the quickest route to your heart, Mistress?
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You cannot find a rout to what does not exist”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone has an opinion. Mine just matters more.”

Menial: “You know, Mistress, underneath it all, I think you are quite nice.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Repeat that disgraceful slander and I will make a stew out of your tongue.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A Mistress is never wrong. Even if they are.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Judging from personal experience, I am fairly certain that ‘pot pourri’ is french for ‘not crisps’.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Everyone fantasises to escape their mundane lives. The difference is that in my line of work, I am the fantasy.”
Friend: “You must get some real perverts.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “If I am lucky.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Your skull, My urinal.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Be a darling and pop my tinny hymen for me.” (in reference to opening a can of ‘Pussy’ energy drink)

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I dislike watching the news and for good reason. They begin by saying something along the lines of ‘Good morning’ or ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it is not.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I did not evolve my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Are you frightened?”
Menial: “Yes.”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Not nearly frightened enough.”
Menial: “Lord of the rings quote?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “No, common sense when someone as sadistic as myself has you chained to a cross.”

Vanilla/Mundane: “Could I visit your dungeon?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Yes.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “What would happen if I did?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “That would depend on my mood.”
Vanilla/Mundane: “Would it hurt?”
Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Probably.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You are twisted, perverted and sick. I like you.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do like to try everything once, and then once again, and then once again, and then once again.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Don’t worry. It only seems kinky the first time.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I always try to provoke offence. It tends to make the mundane more interesting.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Pray that I never make a promise, for I shall always deliver on it.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Given my insatiable passion for hitting things with other things, it seemed appropriate”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Give a financial Dominatrix a flogger and she will demand money from you to have the privilege of passing it to her hand and she will have no clue as to how to use it or have any inclination to do so, of course; this is if you actually manage to meet them in the flesh. Give a professional Dominatrix a flogger and, 9 times out of 10, she will show you how to hit someone with it for money. Give a lifestyle Dominatrix a flogger, preferably someone that has a few years experience, and she will show you how to make it dance.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I hope you realise that I will need to punish you for worshiping a false deity.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “I do so love an audience.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Mine.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “He looks so “My little pony” that I would not be surprised if he had a rainbow brand on his backside and ejaculated marshmallows.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Despite public opinion, I am always on my best behavior. It is just unfortunate that my best behavior is often considered quite anti-social towards the mundane.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “For the love of everything kinky, use what little common sense it takes.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Attempting to imagine what they would have produced in the 1930’s if they had decided to create a violet wand to damage instead of heal has been the subject of recent wet dreams.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do try to avoid cringing when I smile.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go, With a whip and cane to distribute some pain, Hi ho, hi ho-hi ho-hi ho.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “4 teeth surgically removed, 3 of them wisdom. Disappointed. Many told me it was going to be excruciating. Frankly, Kinbaku is more painful.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “This Halloween was incredibly peaceful. Not a single trick or treat’er. When I talked to a neighbor this morning, she said it is because all of the children in the street are scared of the ‘demon lady’ and would not approach my door. I feel like all my years of hard work scaring the crap out of children on Halloween is finally complete.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “You tremble, your nerves betray you and I can smell your scent on the breeze. You are oozing fear!”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Personally, I like it rough.”

Mistress Aemilia Hawk: “Do something constructive: Cut out your tongue.”

Nothing but truth.

In attendance to my local munch (Swindon’s friendly munch 18/07/12) I had stirred curiosity in a couple of the younger mundane locals. Casual conversation ensued with a visit to the taverns outside smoking area. As you do (or as most mundane smokers do, probably).

“You have until I finish my cigarette.” I said as I pulled out and lit a jet black slimline Djarum. “Whatever questions you have in mind, I promise you will receive nothing but truth.”

“May I ask some questions too?” The more vocal of the two queried.

“If you must.” I stated as I blew a plume of smoke in the direction of the quiet one. My eyes stayed on him regardless of who spoke for the duration of the conversation. The quiet ones usually end up being the more interesting.

“You are a Mistress?”
“Yes.”
“Could I visit your dungeon?”
“Yes.”
“What would happen if I did?”
“That would depend on my mood.”
“Would it hurt?”
“Probably.”
“Then why would I want to visit?”
“You will know the answer to that question if you ever decide to visit.”
“Why are you being so mysterious?”
“Perhaps you are just asking the wrong questions.”

There was a short pause as both mundanes looked in thought as to what to ask next.

“Any question at all.” I restated as I gestured casually to the quiet one. My cigarette had roughly reached its halfway point and I gently waved it in front of his face for emphasis. “Your time is running out.”

“I am trying to think of how to word it.” The quiet one said as he shifted shyly on the spot.
“Usually the best way to word something is to simply say it.” I stated with an amused smirk.

The vocal one spoke again.

“Your teeth look very sharp”
“Not as sharp as my claws.” I stated as I held up my empty hand so that he could get a decent look. My eyes were still fixed on the silent one and the slightly amused smirk still played at the corner of my mouth.

“Are they real?”
“Yes, though coated with acrylic resin for strength so that they are functional.”
“Functional for what?”
“What do you think?” I stated as I glanced at the vocal one for the first time since the conversation had started. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled with an open mouth. It seemed as though he was attempting to think of a witty retort but one never came. Instead, he looked to the floor, still smiling. “Time is up.” I said as I glanced back to the quiet one and exhaled the last plume of clove scented smoke.

“Why should I trust you?” The quiet one suddenly said as I flicked my cigarette end into the closest ashtray.
“I offer a safe and legal environment, a gentle introduction and everything is consensual.” I said as I passed him my business card and made my way back towards the bar area.

I stopped in the entrance arch and glanced back to see him looking at the number on my card. “Good question.” I stated with a slightly crooked grin.