Flogging workshop and first-time Kabunza trade stand at the BBB

Whenever I am asked to host a workshop, give tuition or give a demonstration, I always leap at the chance. It is incredibly rewarding and I truly believe that one of the best things anyone with a well practiced skill can do for the BDSM community is to pass on their knowledge to willing students safely. There are a lot of people out there who are reckless (even dangerous) but teach their activities anyway, (often simply to stroke their own egos) despite how unsafe it may be. It can sometimes be very confusing or even scary enough to put people off trying or learning new things. My recommendation to anyone taking advice from anyone on any BDSM activity is to do a little research into the competence of the person(s) giving out their information and also briefly on the subject matter in question (be it flogging, whips, shibari or any BDSM skill) using that magical tool: The internet. Trust me, for the safety of both yourself and those you play with, it never hurts to do a little research and anyone with real knowledge or skill will be apparent from the tat.

I tend to be very hands-on and interactive in my workshops; I like people to ask questions, I like people to talk to me about their own experiences so that I can explain or perhaps even learn something new myself (nobody ever stops learning) and I always try to get people out of their seats to physically practice anything I am trying to teach. Actual practice of any skill makes perfect and I think being able to actively talk people through and demonstrate safely as they are attempting new skills tends to alleviate a very large portion of simple first-time learning hiccups.

Having said that; I am happy to say that the flogging workshop at the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar received some wonderful feedback and comments. It seemed as though everyone had a wonderful time and I cannot express how rewarding it is to watch people putting their new-found teachings into practice over the course of an event (having a room full of flying florantining floggers can be an incredibly fun thing to watch).

Even the lovely Mistress Victoria from Uberkinky (who was a pleasure to finally meet face to face) wrote a sparkling review of the experience, which you can read on her website blog: Here.

In response to the many people who have asked me to do some Youtube videos and tutorials: I do hope to get some made eventually, but it is finding someone who would be willing to film me and has decent enough equipment and software to do so. It will be done, it is just a question of time and expense (anyone wishing to participate in this kind of project, please feel free to contact me).

And to answer the question that so many people directed at me about my collection of floggers at the workshop: The straight handled floggers were from Jack’s Floggers, The ball handled floggers were from Jack’s floggers and Edgeplay and the majority of the floggers that you saw that evening (the poi floggers) were from our very own Kabunza Craftwerks (we do accept custom orders if you would like a personalised set made).

As well as the workshop, it was also Kabunza‘s first ever trade stand at the BBB. We received some wonderful feedback on our products and many people walked home with shiny new Kabunza collars, jewellery and floggers. We are gleefully looking forward to any possibilities of trading there again. The atmosphere and people at this event are simply awesome.

To sum up this post, I would just like to send out a few thankyou’s :

  • To the BBB market and after party organizers for offering us the opportunity to have our Kabunza trade stand represented at their event, for the ample support they gave us, for allowing me the honour of hosting a workshop for them and for their very encouraging and complimentary words throughout.
  • To everyone who made a purchase at the Kabunza trade stand. We know from all your lovely comments and appreciation photos that our hard work is going to good homes. We hope you get as much joy from them through their use and wear as we have had in creating them.
  • To everyone who attended the workshop. I hope everyone had fun (I know many did from the comments that I have received on Facebook and Fetlife but I never tire from hearing your thoughts and I am sure the readers of my blog would love to hear your comments if anyone would like to post any below).
  • To my ever diligent partner for pouring her blood, sweat and tears (three of my favourite things to squeeze out of her) into customising and altering almost every purchased Kabunza item at the event. She really worked hard.
  • To my Benjamin. Who, without him, none of the above would of happened and who embraced everything that I inflicted upon him at the workshop (and afterwards) with a delicious smile. As I have always said; “It takes two to play”, and in that respect I am always greatly appreciative of him and feel incredibly lucky to have him as my own.
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Do unto others?

One of the things which I pride myself on is the fact that every BDSM activity that I partake in, everything that I inflict on others, is something that I have personally experienced the sensation of (with the exception of the obvious, e.g. penile sounding).

I have been canned, flogged, spanked, paddled, whipped, cut, electrocuted, tortured, skewered, burned, bloodied… The list is quite extensive.

My point is that, regardless of how sadistic I may be feeling at any given moment, I would never put anyone through something which I am not willing to go through myself (even briefly, just to see what it feels like).

In fact, it is through diverse experimentation like this that I have figured out that:

  • I have a sliver of masochism. However, I am not truly masochistic (I do not derive physical pleasure or relief from pain, however I do understand it and I do consider it a bit fun on occasion if the mood and setting is complimentary, e.g. Touching nipple to nipple when using a violet wand body contact pad with the setting turned on full so you have the effect of sparks or lightning passing between the nipples).
  • I am incredibly sadistic (I derive physical and intellectual pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on others. I have also discovered that part of what makes me better at inflicting pain is the fact that I study human anatomy/biology and that I personally experience and research each activity).
  • I am naturally and instinctively far more dominant than submissive (I am also in the firm belief, through years of sociological D/s experiences and encounters, that everyone has at least a little of both in them; despite some Dominants claiming that they are 100% “everyone on the planet should kneel before me” dominant).

Call it an ethical judgement or personal morality if you like, but my main question is: Why is it that I do not see or hear more peoples stories of experiencing things themselves before inflicting things on others? Has that Dominant in the corner of the club experienced what they are putting that submissive through? Or am I, yet again, part of the minority in that I practice what I preach and inflict?

Responses to this post would be greatly appreciated. I am incredibly curious to know of other peoples stories and opinions on this matter.

Nothing but truth.

In attendance to my local munch (Swindon’s friendly munch 18/07/12) I had stirred curiosity in a couple of the younger mundane locals. Casual conversation ensued with a visit to the taverns outside smoking area. As you do (or as most mundane smokers do, probably).

“You have until I finish my cigarette.” I said as I pulled out and lit a jet black slimline Djarum. “Whatever questions you have in mind, I promise you will receive nothing but truth.”

“May I ask some questions too?” The more vocal of the two queried.

“If you must.” I stated as I blew a plume of smoke in the direction of the quiet one. My eyes stayed on him regardless of who spoke for the duration of the conversation. The quiet ones usually end up being the more interesting.

“You are a Mistress?”
“Yes.”
“Could I visit your dungeon?”
“Yes.”
“What would happen if I did?”
“That would depend on my mood.”
“Would it hurt?”
“Probably.”
“Then why would I want to visit?”
“You will know the answer to that question if you ever decide to visit.”
“Why are you being so mysterious?”
“Perhaps you are just asking the wrong questions.”

There was a short pause as both mundanes looked in thought as to what to ask next.

“Any question at all.” I restated as I gestured casually to the quiet one. My cigarette had roughly reached its halfway point and I gently waved it in front of his face for emphasis. “Your time is running out.”

“I am trying to think of how to word it.” The quiet one said as he shifted shyly on the spot.
“Usually the best way to word something is to simply say it.” I stated with an amused smirk.

The vocal one spoke again.

“Your teeth look very sharp”
“Not as sharp as my claws.” I stated as I held up my empty hand so that he could get a decent look. My eyes were still fixed on the silent one and the slightly amused smirk still played at the corner of my mouth.

“Are they real?”
“Yes, though coated with acrylic resin for strength so that they are functional.”
“Functional for what?”
“What do you think?” I stated as I glanced at the vocal one for the first time since the conversation had started. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled with an open mouth. It seemed as though he was attempting to think of a witty retort but one never came. Instead, he looked to the floor, still smiling. “Time is up.” I said as I glanced back to the quiet one and exhaled the last plume of clove scented smoke.

“Why should I trust you?” The quiet one suddenly said as I flicked my cigarette end into the closest ashtray.
“I offer a safe and legal environment, a gentle introduction and everything is consensual.” I said as I passed him my business card and made my way back towards the bar area.

I stopped in the entrance arch and glanced back to see him looking at the number on my card. “Good question.” I stated with a slightly crooked grin.

50 Vs 6.

I must confess, I cannot help but laugh at menials who tell me that they can take a punishment of 50+ strokes from a cane. I seem to get a lot of messages and emails containing this boast or one of similar proportions.

They have obviously never walked through my dungeon doors.

Why do in 50 what you can do in 6? (12 for those who like a little warm up thrashing).
In 6 strokes, should I wish, I can simply give a red lined but short lived reminder of whatever the menial is being punished for.
However, in 6 strokes, should I wish, I can draw blood, cause intense pain and leave scars that would last.
It is simply down to the quality of the tool, how it is used and how accurate the Dominant is (hitting the same spot continuously can be incredibly fun, albeit damaging).

Before I continue, I feel obligated to point out that some menials enjoy caning. In cases such as this, 50 gentle strokes is actually just play and not a punishment (or even intended as a punishment) at all. A play caning differs incredibly from a punishment caning.

But if any menial made a boast of being able to take 50 strokes as an actual punishment, I would instantly come up with 3 theories:
1. I would question the competence of the Mistress/Master who gave them the 50 punishment strokes. Because clearly they have no clue as to what they are doing (either that or they have the arm strength of a dormouse with muscular dystrophy).
2. I would question the honesty of the menial.
3. The menial making the boast is lacking any form of flesh on his/her backside.

If a Mistress asks: “How many strokes of the cane do you think you can take?”
The correct answer is: “As many as you think I should/can receive, Mistress”

Boasting is not attractive in a menial and, in most cases, will result in nothing more than the Domme/Dom testing the boast (which can have nasty results).
Honesty is mandatory.
Leave the ego to those of a higher station.

Just to finish this post: a photo of how a punishment caning should look like.
I know the photo is grainy as it was taken on my iPhone as an afterthought and in low light.
6 light, warm up strokes and 6 medium punishment strokes. As you can see, progressively heavier as you go down the backside. This was a gentle-mediocre punishment session, the worst hit being of the average strength that I use in a standard punishment.

All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.