I realise that my blog has had a lack of frequent posts for the past 4-6 months, but the past year has been both incredibly busy and stressful. I have full intentions of restarting my blog very soon.
In the meantime; I will start up this year as I have always started a new year here on my blog.
Continuing the quotations of the year posts, here is the selection for 2015.
Favourite quotations of the past year (including some that I have not been able or bothered to ‘tweet‘) in a single blog post purely for fun.
As usual, no names will be mentioned (with the exception of my own) and people will be referred to in an anonymous fashion or title. Of course, you will all know who you are from being present when I had said the quote in question. Try also to bear in mind that almost all of these quotes have been said in the heat of the moment and are not meant to offend any readers of my blog.
Aemilia Hawk: “I’m fluffy!”
Friend 1: “So are Polar Bears!”
Friend 2: “Fluffy like a snake.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I am 99% angel. That last 1% just screws me over every time.”
Friend: “is that 99% angel the one that ‘sauntered vaguely downwards’?”
Aemilia Hawk: “Stauntered? Sauntered?!? It was a proud ‘trip’ I’ll have you know!”
Friend: “There is something worrying about a smiling demon.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Would this be a good ‘Muahahaha’ moment?”
Aemilia Hawk: ” I was trying desperately to remain polite by not vomiting on the pink floor. I succeeded. Despite wanting the colour change so badly.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I still wonder at how long it took them back in the 1930’s to figure out that shoving a violet wand in your eye is really not very good for it. At least the eyeball attachment has the perfect shape for nipples and has the added bonus of not causing blindness when used on them. At least, not in the receiver.”
Aemilia Hawk: ” I am so innocent that I make that fruit juice smoothie stuff look fattening! If I were any more innocent, I would be doing a ‘Puss in boots from Shrek’ impression!”
Friend 1: “You are hiding the fangs and everything! Valiant effort!”
Friend 2: “Asking you to spell ‘innocent’ would go something along the lines of ‘P-U-R-E-E-V-I-L’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I don’t always wear my top hat. But when I do, I make it look nonchalantly awesome regardless of where I am or what I am doing.”
Friend: “Fangs for the mammaries!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Ohh, the punnery!”
Aemilia Hawk: “They said ‘Relinquish your weapons!’. Of course, none of the guns could shoot but they quickly learned that wooden flintlock replicas are superior to painted plastic toys in the ability to club.”
Aemilia Hawk: “When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons!”
Aemilia Hawk: “If you have enough passion for something, anything is possible.”
Aemilia Hawk: “The sadistic part of me is currently having an argument with the reasonable part of me. I think my sadistic side is winning.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I will build it! And it shall be named ‘Evil’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “Or ‘Bob’. I haven’t decided yet.”
Aemilia Hawk: “A flogger named ‘Bob’, and so it begins. I built the first head, then ran out of rings…”
Friend: “I believe the Romans had something similar with hooks on the end and called it the ‘scorpion’.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I could never build a flogger with hooks. You hit once with it then they run off with your toy!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Taarsidath-an halsaam!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Angels, Demons, were all from the same basic stock at the end of the day. It’s all just semantics!”
Aemilia Hawk: “Make tea, not war.”
Aemilia Hawk: “You had me at Wasabi.”
Aemilia Hawk: “You have been inspiring me to come up with completely new colourful insults.”
Friend: “You could put ‘Fifty Shades’ to shame.”
Aemilia Hawk: “I have still not seen that movie. I suffered enough when I subjected myself to the books. Self harm is really not my kink!”
Aemilia Hawk: “That ‘freshly cut grass’ smell you love so much is actually a chemical distress signal. And you enjoy it! You sadist!”