A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: An overdue update

As some of you may have noticed; My blog has been lacking in posts this month. There have been several reasons for this and I am going to attempt something of an explanation before rebooting my regular posting.

If you look back over what I have written here this past couple of years, you will see the changes in my writing. When I started my blog it was primarily from a professional Dominatrix point of view; Ergo, it comes across as such. As time progressed, I started to include more and more personal experiences and opinions. I started to include more of my lifestyle and less of the profession. But I have never really posted anything more than things that borderline on ‘feelings’. This is because I closely guard and control those aspects. People will only ever see what I allow them to see, only know what I allow them to know, and I let only a precious few people see the whole picture.

This past few months I have been in deep reflection and meditation. Cracks in my usually steel-like exterior have been apparent to me, comments and actions from people closest to me and unfortunate circumstances of play space or funds have been heavily influential and I have been asking myself questions. Many of which I still do not have answers for. I have been questioning things like my self worth, skill, dynamic, orientation, profession; the list is rather extensive and I have been frustrated and confused by a lot of what has been popping into my head. To say this process is causing me stress is quite an understatement. Hence the silence of my blog.

Inevitably, I have reached an impasse and I am still trying to decide my next direction.

One direction leads down a road that would mean virtually giving up professional Domination, concentrating on Kabunza and on my own BDSM whims and desires. Part of my conflict is that I am feeling a desire to relinquish being the dominant and playing on the other side of the fence (if only for a while). It takes two to play and one of the conundrums is that I am not sure which side I would prefer to play on at the moment. My mindset has apparently reflected this (hence the reasoning for some of the aforementioned questioning). Activities where I have been taking a dominant role have been lacking coordination, despite a complete confidence in myself that I am doing nothing differently. I have experienced similar in the past and have noticed a recurrence of these ‘feelings’ every 3-4 years; I have found that taking a break to get it out of my system by switching helps somewhat (before my Dominant instincts kick back in with a vengeance). Trust me when I say: this is not an easy thing for me to explain, especially on my blog.

The other direction is to do what I do best: Bottle up my emotions, swallow hard, give myself a slap on the face and shout to the heavens “What am I thinking!”, before crushing said whims and forcing myself back into doing what I have always enjoyed; hurting people (with skill, flair and style). Cold to the feelings currently raging, probably fracturing a few heart strings, reverting back to the evil bitch that seems to be known, loved and desired, and basically caring little about the opinions of others because “I am the Mistress and I bloody well know what I am doing!”

Of course, I am unaccustomed to venting randomly or ‘sharing’ thoughts of this nature. I am summing all of this up as simply as possible in order to put it into a blog post. There are hundreds of factors and nuances which I am not going into or which I refuse to share because they are personal or would take too long to explain; But I hope I am portraying a decent enough idea of my current meanderings.

Regardless of what I decide to do; my blog will be undergoing some alterations. I plan on putting a section in here which is dedicated to Kabunza, compressing my galleries back into a single collection of photos, drastically reducing the amount of information in my ‘bookings & sessions‘ section in order to make things incredibly simple for those requiring it (because for some reason the people who go to that section cannot seem to read past my phone number) as well as numerous other changes which I will elaborate on as the decisions are made.

For the moment; We will resume our regular broadcasting schedule…

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Product review: Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddle

If it has not been apparent from my gallery or previous blog posts; One of my favorite BDSM activities is impact play. Particularly floggers.

However, impact play can take many forms; Whips, floggers, canes and paddles to name the most common.

Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddle:

This month, the wonderful people at Uberkinky have sent me one of their Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddles to test run and review.

Personally, I tend to use paddles as warm-up tools before moving on to heavier impact play like whips or canes, or I will use them as an accent to a session of spanking to save my hand (and claws) from prolonged impact play. I consider the humble paddle to be a very handy addition and ‘must-have’ to any arsenal of BDSM toys.

The Uberkinky Fetish Fantasy Designer Paddle is probably one of the lightest paddles I have ever used. They have opted for a handle which has been created completely out of hard leather and has no wooden or metal core; the reason for its lightness and slightly ‘whippy’ effect when using it heavily.

It’s rounded edges are an added bonus for those who prefer to simply heat the center of each rear-end cheek and while it sometimes feels a little flimsy when in use, it definitely makes an accurate and stingy impact.

The hard leather is of a smooth surface, making it easy to wipe clean and sterilize and a leather cord is supplied for when it is simply needed to hang on a wall or belt for show, as a constant reminder of the last play, or as a visual deterrent for any menials who tend to be a little bratty.

But there is one thing I rate incredibly highly on this item, more than anything else, and that is the sound: this paddle made a wonderful slap which echoed throughout my dungeon.

I have a feeling that I will be using this little toy quite often.

A list of rules for the female submissive. Inspired by actual events (mostly).

Another old file found which was written back when I had a few collared female submissives (approximately 6-7 years ago). New rules were added on a weekly basis. I think it makes for a rather amusing blog post.

Some very fun memories.

Enjoy.

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Rules:
1) I will not carve happy faces in the flogger handles.
2) I will not yell “FIRE!” every time Mistress lights a candle.
3) Funny noises are not ‘that’ funny.
4) I will not slap Mistress with my bra.
5) Punishment is not boring or pointless.
6) I will not call Mistress Dr.Death.
7) I will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Mistresses D/s party.
8) A burp is not an appropriate response to Mistress.
9) I will not eat all of Mistresses chocolate while she is at work.
10) I will not call Mistress Spud head, Butt head or any kind of head.
11) Mud is not an acceptable side dish for Mistresses dinner.
12) I will not peak out of the blindfold.
13) There is no such thing as “slave immunity”.
14) I will not win an Emmy for my last punishment session.
15) I cannot fire Mistress.
16) I will not scare people who are new to the BDSM scene by telling them that all “real subs” like bullwhips.
17) I will refrain from saying “Hail Satan” when I do not like Mistresses orders.
18) I will not use Mistresses bondage table as a skateboard ramp or as a slide into the pool.
19) I will not attempt to wear Mistresses underwear on my head until it has been removed.
20) Mistresses ARE perfect.

The House rules.

“Do you know the rules of this house?” I said as I leaned over his supplicated form.
“I must call you Mistress at all times” replied a quivering voice.
“that is a given, regardless of if it is written in the house rules” I retorted as I began to gently inspect the menials body. “What else.”
“I may not look Mistress in the eye.”
“Good. However, I do not care if you look me in the eye. I do not make myself up to look this good for you to simply keep your head lowered constantly. Flash me a defiant look and I will have your head. But other than that, look all you like.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you who!” I said as I gave a quick slap to the back of his head.
“Thank you Mistress! Thank you Mistress!” he said as he cowered with his head bowed.
“Continue with the House rules.” I said as I went back to the bodily inspection.
“I may not speak without your permission, Mistress.”
“Speak out of turn and you will soon feel my wrath. But, ask for permission every five seconds and you will feel it doubly so. What else?”
“I may not touch Mistress but she may touch me.” He said as he started to relax and enjoy the sensation of my touch.
“I tend to ignore little touches to the body part of your obsession. But be warned that if you take too many liberties, you will suffer. Continue.”
“I must always be respectful, Mistress.”
“That is a rule of life,” I said as I gave him another slap across the back of the head, “one to follow regardless of whether you are here or not! Now, what is the last rule?”
“Mistress?” he said as he cowered further into a ball.
“The final and most important rule! What is it?” I slapped the back of his head again, more for effect than anything else.
“Mistress! Please! I do not know the last rule!” At this point his body tightened in expectation of another slap, one which never came. Instead I grabbed his hair, pulled his head back and leaned in close to whisper.
“The most important rule and remember it well,” I whispered gently into his held-back ear, “is the fact that this Mistress adheres to no rules. In my presence, chaos reigns.”
He smiled and gave off a single but gentle laugh as I held his head in position by the hair. I grinned back and pushed his head forcefully forward.
“Simply use what little common sense you have. Now get your ass on the cross. I want some flogger practice.”