Introductions: Angele

While I am building quite a collection of equipment, (including items such as floggers, shibari ropes and urethral sounds) only the most special of items get given names. Usually these items hold incredible sentimental value and have been gifted for a very special reason or are of an insanely high quality. These items virtually have a living personality because they are so individual or unique that they require reverence, respect and need to be placed on a pedestal far higher than the standard fare.

To date, Sasha and Tempest are the only items of my arsenal that have been given names and Sasha is quickly becoming known as an individual. Anyone who has met her always refer to her by name instead of simply the item of equipment that she is.

Recently there has been two new additions to my family. Benjamin (uncollared as of yet, but has come further into my circle than anyone has in nearly 7 years) and Angele: A fully functional and refurbished vintage/antique violet wand. (a tribute from Benjamin to mark the occasion, no pun intended)

Benjamin has already been (and will very likely be in the future) in many of my blog posts (past entries include: DV8 Fetish Festival 2012: Overview, Urethral sounding, The best cruelty, 50 Vs 6 and Anything). This blog post, however, is to introduce Angele.

Angele:

An immense amount of thought and research went in to the choice of this item. She was chosen specifically for many reasons, including strength and high frequency output, aesthetic value, uniqueness and age.

She is a vintage/antique Vitalis 1880’s “Les rayons qui guerissent” model, which when translated from French means: “healing rays” (attempting to imagine what they would have produced if they had decided to create a wand to damage instead of heal has been the subject of recent wet dreams).

She has been named Angele (pronounced: “Ahn-jhel”) after the feminine French (equivalent) word for angel (masculine being ‘Ange’).
I thought a French name would be the most appropriate seeing as she was designed and created by a French company and subsequently would have been the country where she was built.

Despite being dated from the 1880’s (the exact year cannot be determined as the last digit of the model year has been worn away due to age), we have assumed that this printed date represents the Vitalis company and not the wand itself. Angele’s previous owner (bound2tease.net) has placed her birthday (date of construction) approximately in the 1930’s (this would make her around 80 years old). We are still researching into the company and model, but any help or information that anyone could give on ‘Angele’ or her creators would be greatly appreciated.

She has been fully restored with a black faux leather exterior and black cotton velvet interior. The original fascia is a kind of agate/marble effect bakelite, giving her an overall style and look that is similar to her new owner: AKA. Gothic Steampunk.

Her arsenal of attachments/electrodes include:

Curved throat electrode:
Usually used on the neck or throat but can be used on anything that is curved. Power rating: Medium to high.

Surface mushroom electrode:
Excellent for general massage. Power rating: Medium.

Saturation tube electrode:
Often used in secondary contact or intense massage. Power rating: High to strong.

Nerve brush electrode:
Designed to stimulate the skin and nerve endings under the skin. Power rating: High to strong.

Single eye electrode:
Originally used on the eyes (but now that we have reached the 21st century, we all know better. The original use of this attachment is now widely regarded as a very bad move. But it makes for a lovely smaller version of the mushroom attachment and works brilliantly on nipples). Power rating: Medium to high.

Spinal electrode:
Two points of contact for the back or spine. Can be very sensual. Power rating: Medium to high.

Comb electrode:
Designed for the hair (not advisable if you use flammable hair products, but safe otherwise) and back of the neck. Very sensual. Power rating: Medium to high.

Prostrate electrode:
Anal probe electrode. Excellent for getting into what would normally be inaccessible areas. Also makes for a good precision pointer. Power rating: Medium to high.

Condenser/Amplifier electrode:
A multipurpose electrode designed to intensify treatment and condense output to a specific area. Power rating: High to strong.

Fulgurator electrode:
Originally used for burning out warts and cauterising. Present day use of this attachment in BDSM play can include electrobranding. A fine wire tip end gives an intense array of sparks. Power rating: Strong to fearsome (It should come as no surprise that this attachment instantly became my favourite electrode).

Body contact pad:
Used for indirect and reverse techniques, where either you or your play partners entire body is electrified and literally becomes the attachment to the wand. Sparks fly from whatever body part you touch with or is touched.

I cannot express in words how perfect, splendid and marvelous she is.
These photos do not do her justice.
I hope to be making movies which will include her in action very soon.

All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

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Urethral sounding.

Fairly recently, due to a wonderful gift of a Hegar urethral dilator rod set, I have been teaching myself how to incorporate urethral sounding into BDSM play.

This was my first play with such things and I admit to a lack of experience in this area.

However, I can return to my own opinion of the play in a later blog post. For the moment, I thought it would be a pleasant change of scenery if an opinion other than my own went into this blog. So, written by request, this blog post is about the view from the other side of the ‘playground’, from he who was receiving my attentions.

Enjoy.

I am constantly thinking about ways to manipulate play during our sessions. So if i am looking for a darker session I try to come up with polite ways to slightly annoy Mistress. This then turns on her darker side. once done, I know it will be a very intense session which will probably end in some form of punishment.
My last punishment session ended with the cane. In the hands of Mistress Aemilia, a cane is as natural to her as breathing is to me or you. She leaves perfect welts, all in a pretty line down the backside. Mistress classed this as light to medium. But I, on the other hand, was the one who could not sit comfortably for the following week, so I would have to disagree. I am very inspired by her skill though, and would trust only her when it comes to this type of punishment. Mistress Aemilia’s expertise is second to none and, speaking as a submissive, I would recommend never letting an inexperienced person mark you in any way.
This has taught me, only through extensive play, to build and establish complete trust with your Mistress. So it got me thinking about other ways to test myself, and also ways test Mistress.
In a previous session, I mentioned to her about sounding. Mistress replied that it was something she had not tried herself but had watched. I have learned that she is very committed and constantly enjoys perfecting and learning new skills, so I decided to gift her with a Hegar sounding set and hand myself over to be her test bench. I have never tried this before so was curious and it was a good way to show Mistress how I completely trusted her.
The day had arrived and I was due to visit Mistress that evening. I was having second thoughts so I had to come up with a plan to maybe delay the sounding session to another day. I had complete faith in Mistress. but was ‘I’ ready?
A few texts were sent that day but my usual way of changing her mood for play was not working. Either Mistress was in a very good mood or she realised that I was trying my best to get out of it.
The time had come, so I freshly showered and shaved and made my way to visit Mistress. I walked up to the door more nervous than usual, it felt like the very first time we met.
I rang the doorbell, Mistress answered and welcomed me in. Normally we sit and talk for a while, I think this is more for my benefit, maybe to settle nerves? Unless it is a punishment session, then Mistress can usually be found already waiting for you in the dungeon so that you have no chance of talking yourself out of it. This time she politely asked if I would like a glass of water and, in receiving, I was told to go upstairs and ready myself. I was more confused by this as I was still wondering what she had planned for the evening and Mistress was giving away no clues.
I climbed the stairs and entered the red dungeon as this was my instruction. I proceeded to undress and placed my clothes in front of the cage in the corner of the room. I then moved over to the middle of the room and knelt down hands flat on the floor with forehead also touching. This is a position which places you completely vulnerable to her, which I like, but the fact that I cannot see her enter or which items she is carrying in for play is stronger on my mind today. You can only rely on what you hear.
I hear the sound of heels climbing the stairs and then Mistress enters the room. She has gone over to the whipping bench and placed some items down. Okay, as per usual this is quite normal, but in this particular instance I was curious to know what she was carrying. I was very tempted to try to peek out of the corner of my eye but before I had the chance, Mistress started to make her way over to where I was knelt. Mistress ran her claws gently over my back, this is always breath taking but at the same time calming, she walks around me usually full circle, one day I would love to know what she is looking at or inspecting as I can only see the floor and maybe her heels as she walks past my face. Thankfully I have passed inspection again and she orders me to kneel up, facing her. Mistress is stood in front of me wearing her new (and my favourite) steampunk outfit. I forget about what she is planning as my eyes and thoughts are transfixed on her. I am ordered to put ankle restraints on myself and once this is done, I hold my wrists out for Mistress to apply my wrist restraints. There is a slight pause, I am not sure if this is for me to take a few deep breaths or for Mistress to inflict a little more fear into the session. She orders me to go stand with my back to the grid which is fixed firmly to the wall, to which I reply ”yes, Mistress”. I stand up and walk over to it, then stand waiting for my next instruction. She then walks towards me, with total confidence and complete elegance. Her eyes are permanently looking straight at me, she orders me to spread my legs so my ankles can be clipped onto the wall, then my left arm is raised and restrained followed by the right. I am at the complete mercy of her now. Mistress grabs my testicles, leans in and whispers “Mine.” into my ear. As she leans back her fangs are on show and the look in her eyes warn you to do exactly as she says, I become mesmerised. I attentively watch as she seductively walks away, one foot in front of the other, so lady like and very sexy, over to where she had placed her tools for that evening. There sitting proudly in the center: a black leather case of which I knew the contents as I had purchased her that very gift. Mistresses eyes lit up as she unzipped the case and removed the first sounding rod ready for cleaning, watching her meticulously clean each one started to arouse me and I suddenly realised that I had no control over the situation. Down below I was erect and Mistress was in love with her new toys. There would be no stopping her from at least giving her new sounds a test run. I became very nervous as I was just about to have someone who I love dearly insert a metal rod into my penis. It was something I had to trust she would do safely, which I do.
Mistress walked towards me carrying a number two sound which is 3-4mm, her expression was: “lets have some fun”, mine was probably of fear, but a comfortable fear if you know what I mean. She had come over to see if I needed lube, I told her I was having second thoughts, but she looked down and said “he is not”. All I could answer was ”yes, Mistress” as it was evident. She held the sound at the tip of my penis, collecting the pre-cum which was dribbling out, twisting the rod around and picking it up like candyfloss to a stick. It makes for the best natural lubricant. I was focused on her, but Mistress was mesmerised, I think I may of introduced her to something which she may like a little too much. Mistress looked up at me, no words were needed as I knew it was time. She looked back down and then she became totally focused like someone had just flicked a switch on inside her head. I looked down as she was just starting to insert the rod, it slid in halfway very easily and of its own accord, she slowly twisted the rod until it found its natural curve and then it continued on its journey. It was a very intense feeling, almost a slight burning sensation but in a sensual way. The Hegar rods are very slightly curved to match the shape of an erect penis, so Mistress was finding her feet by matching the curve of the rod to the depth inserted. Once it was fully inserted Mistress looked up at me only to see me with my eyes closed. Seconds before I had become completely spaced by the euphoric feeling that I was sensing. Mistress questioned if I was alright as she had sensed my heartbeat raise and my breathing become erratic. I replied ”very much so, Mistress”, it was a feeling that is hard to put into words. I glanced down at the rod fully inserted and Mistress was holding it in while she started to lubricate the next size up, she finished spiraling natural lubricant around the next one before slowly removing the first rod, as it slid back out she sadistically pulled the tip out quickly. My body jolted, Mistress then looked up and grinned at me. This gave the same sensation as an orgasm but without ejaculation. The next rod was inserted, Mistress had become aware that as the rod is being inserted it needs to be slightly twisted as it slides inside. The rod was quickly at its full depth and Mistress said it was the perfect size. She then began to play with the rod, I think this is where her sadistic streak naturally shines through. Slowly she began to slide her fingers down the rod, this is more intense than the insertion itself. A very intense burning sensation is delivered through the penis. Thankfully, I was fastened to the grid, or I would of collapsed to my knees on the floor. I could see now she was grinning, and enjoying it immensely. Mistress’s next trick was to twist the rod, this completely took my breath away.  I closed my eyes and hung on for dear life as I knew this ordeal would continue for quite some time.
You have to remember that this is sometimes difficult for me to recall the exact details as in the session, during the more extreme and sometimes not so sensual parts, I tend to delve into a consciousness which most call ‘spaced’. It is when you are experiencing deep pleasure or pain, you become oblivious to your surroundings and are completely focused on the feeling. I next remember mistress pausing for a while, so I snap out of that spaced feeling and catch my breath again. I look at Mistress Aemilia and she is paused thinking. I am very intrigued but I dare not ask what, as she was in full thought of what she could experiment with next. I should of guessed really, as anyone who knows her well, she has a certain fondness for a machine. I see her walk over and pick up the case from the corner of the room. I could watch her walk around for the entire session as she is exudes female elegance. But in this particular instance it would be bitter sweet. She lays the case down, removes and plugs in the generator and removes the chain with the body contact pad. I watch as she slowly lifts her skirt and her stocking tops are revealed. This is a sight that would make anyone go weak at the knees but I knew what was coming. Mistress slowly inserts the pad into her stocking top, switches the machine on and looks at me with the cutest smile. Oh boy, how looks can be deceiving. She is now in her zone, electrified, and I know that with her slightest touch it will be passed to me. I take a deep breath as she starts the walk towards me, she does not even blink an eye but I start to perspire. ”Now where were we?” she said with an evil grin that I become accustomed to. Firstly, she taps her fingers on my chest, you can hear a crackle and pop sound as the sparks jump from her claws. Mistress lets out a soft breath, this is her pleasure now. Her fingers spark up and down my chest and the smell of ozone is in the air from the electrical charge hitting the skin. Normally she concentrates on nipples or sensitive areas, but today she has a new experiment. Mistress leans over and picks up a sounding rod and says ”I am curious to see if this will amplify the experience for you”. I reply ”Believe me Mistress, I am not curious at all!”, to which I am ignored. Just a tender smile is given back to me. She leans in close with the sounding rod in hand and touches my chest with it. A large spark jumped between it and myself. ”Mmm, I see it does.” she says in that soft voice. I brace myself as I prepare for the event. The sound is ran down my chest to my privates, you could follow the trail as a faint red line appeared on my skin and the smell of ozone was very strong. I saw her start again with the rod in hand, below my testicles the crackling sound was very noticeable from the amplified sounding rod and the expression on Mistresses face was one of Delight. like a child that had just unwrapped a favourite toy at Christmas. I entered my zone of being spaced as she continued to torture my private region with the electrical play. After a few minutes (and me praying for a power cut) she stopped, stood up, leaned in and caressed my neck with her fingers. She whispered in my ear: ”Good boy, tonight has been incredibly entertaining”. Mistress slowly unclipped the restraints and I returned to my knees. I had no energy left to stand. I then thanked Mistress for her pleasure.
This is what I recall of our very first sounding session.
Mistress has the perfect touch and sense of how to keep you right on the edge during play and she has now found this new type of play. It is very intense but at the same time pleasurable. I have been told she has plans for many more sounding sessions, so I may be asked to write again.

Mistress Aemilia Hawk’s Hegar urethral sounding rod set

All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

This is not a fallacy. I am Online.

I have never been one for online play. You cannot touch or feel your subjects flesh, you cannot use your arsenal of favorite toys, it is rare you even get to see their facial expressions and things like scent or smell are completely nonexistent (which is a complete shame as I have always considered this rather important to set specific moods).

However, despite all of the above, I still get many requests to do online or webcam domination.

So, in the interest of furthering my rather dark influence, I have bought a webcam and joined a website called adultwork.com where I will be doing online webcam sessions when I have the free time (Gratitude to the menial who suggested the site, you know who you are).

Keep a watchful eye on my Twitter for updates on when I will be available for webcam and you can view my adultwork.com profile using the link provided in the “My Links” section on this blog.

Musings of devotion: Spandwiser 29/10/06

I do enjoy poetry. Especially ones written with me in mind.

This is an older poem written for me by a menial which I have not heard from in quite a few years. Nevertheless, I bumped into it while looking through old files and decided to share.

“Come”
She smiled.
And her eyes were smoldering coals –
“you think you know of life,
of all it’s pleasured pathways
and many unplumbed depths?”
And the leather of her body
laughed it’s ebony mockery in the starlight
“Come –
and LIVE –
in a world where pain and pleasure rule,
whose music is the wild lash song,
repose: the rack’s embrace.”
And she stroked me, red lips gleaming,
leather of her fingers soft upon my flesh
“Come –
where I am all your dreams”
Pleasuress, tyrant queen.
And she took the leash and whip
and drew me thither.

Spandwiser – 29th October 2006

If I wish.

“There is no good without evil.” I said as I sat on my throne, leaning forward over his knelt position at my feet. “No love without hate. No peace without war. No innocence without lust. Every Goddess is attributed something so that mortals can make better sense of the things that they can never truly understand.”

“Yes Goddess.” He said with widened eyes. He seemed in awe at simply having the privilege of kneeling in front of me. I had his undivided attention. This pleased me.

“And what do you think mundanes have attributed to me?” I said as I ran a clawed finger gently over his cheek.

“Beauty, Goddess?”

My gentle caress turned swiftly into a backhanded strike. He yelped and cowered, almost laying completely on the floor in supplication.

“Suffering, Pain and Corruption,” I growled, baring my sharpened teeth and leaning closer. “Do you think Beauty would have such a sadistic nature?” I paused and stared at him a few moments before leaning back into my throne and forcefully relaxing my posture. “I am Darkness.”

He crawled towards me and cautiously lifted himself from the floor to place an incredibly gentle kiss on my knee. “I am sorry Great One, I beg forgiveness.”

I leaned forward sharply and grabbed the D-ring of his leather collar, pulling his face to within a few inches of my own. “If I wish, I am strong enough to rip you from this world.”

His eyes widened. “Yes, Goddess.”

“If I wish, I could drag you in to the deepest, darkest, perverted recesses of my mind where I would torture and humiliate you for all eternity.”

His eyebrows clenched into a worried position. “Yes, Goddess.” The scent of fear was oozing from every pore in his body, wafting my senses and igniting an endorphin rush.

“And when I wish it, you would beg for more.” I said in sultry tones as I began to salivate at the decadent thoughts which were pulsing through my mind like a lighthouse on steroids.

His eyes glazed with tear, his attention set firmly on my words. “Yes, Goddess.”

“If I wish, I could still the beating of the heart in your breast and the breath in your body. Simply by wishing it.” I continued as I pulled him further forward by the collar. His eyes transfixed on mine and so close he held his breath.

Silence fell for the few moments I held him there. Solid in fear and supplication. Breath held, body tense, eyes transfixed.

And then I released him and pushed him forcefully to the floor before returning to my relaxed posture on the throne.

“If.. I.. wish.”

Procuring permanence.

Every day, I get emails, messages and phone calls from menials asking me if I am in need of a permanent submissive or personal house slave and if I am currently looking for something ‘long term’.
The truth of the matter is: I am constantly looking. However I have a strict and rigorous process of elimination. I do not give the collar lightly. Nor would I give it to someone I consider undeserving.

There was a time when I had several permanent and collared menials of my own, I made the decision not to take on any more about 7 years ago. Over the course of time I eventually released them all from their collars and servitude for various reasons. Some fell in love and asked to be given to their partners and some had to move out of the country for family or personal reasons. Regardless, I never did take on any more permanent submissives and I have been without for several years now (though I still like to keep in contact with most of them and they all know where I am should they ever need me).

To answer the question: “Am I looking?”, the answer is yes, constantly. But there is a process to determine if the menial in question is suitable. I loath time wasters and simply saying it is something you want is not enough. Too many people are not serious about it. They want something that is only online and not truly real, simply want the fantasy in their head or the ability to say they are “owned”. Intent of loyalty and dedication must be proven before I will consider anything that might be lasting.
In this blog post I am going to explain my process and what needs to be done in order to be taken seriously if approaching me with such a subject or request.

Preliminary requirements:
• I am not looking for something ‘live-in’. A certain amount if independence is mandatory. If I take on a full-time menial it does not mean you will be giving up work, home, family, friends or vanilla life. It simply means that certain priorities and some aspects of lifestyle will change.
• I am not looking for a relationship, I am already in one. On that note: If a menial does not get along with my partner, this means they are not suitable.

Step one – First contact:
Contacting me by phone, messaging or email is fine, however, showing your face in the flesh is mandatory before I will begin to truly notice you. Making a good first impression is important. When we do meet: Dress well, smell nice, be honest and try not to cringe when I smile.

Step two – Work benefits:
My time is valuable and trust comes with time. This is where being a professional Dominatrix comes in handy as part of my process. Having a few sessions in my dungeon with me allows me to familiarise myself with the potential menial. Both body and mind. I learn many things during play, including things like fetish preferences, limits, personality and overall compatibility. If a menial is not willing to tribute, it generally means they are not willing to sacrifice, will be unable to meet certain expectations and/or are ‘stingy’. It also paves the way towards trust being established (which is incredibly important and necessary for both parties). Many people interested in the lifestyle are mentally questionable, some are even dangerous. I will not meet anyone outside the safety and protection of my dungeon walls or in a more social setting until a certain amount if trust is established.

Step three – Prying eyes:
Once I have gotten to know a menial well, find their company pleasing and those first steps of trust have been established and solidified, I may end up offering them an opportunity to come with me to one of the many BDSM clubs, events or shows that I partake in throughout the course of the year. This is a huge step as it means the menial will not only be accompanying me to a public social occasion based outside the privacy and safety of the dungeon, but also that they will be meeting my partner and friends (all of whom will be judging the menial to make sure they are ‘good enough’ for me). I am an extrovert by nature, far from being prudish. If the potential menial cannot tolerate the eyes or comments of like-minded peers then it is unlikely they will make it to the next step of my process. If the offer of joining me is declined (unless a suitable reason for declining is given) it is very unlikely a second offer will be ventured.

Step four – Of hearth and home:
In the incredibly unlikely event that the potential has managed to make it to this step: has built up this huge amount of trust, gets along with my partner and friends, has no problem attending the events, pleases me, keeps me happy, is compatible material in every sense of the word and has not disappeared yet: they may end up getting the opportunity to to visit my home. This may simply be to pick me up and chauffeur me somewhere for a day out (the menial naturally coming out with me for the day) to begin with, but the single act of knowing and seeing that place which is most personal to me signifies a lot. Eventually, the potential may be invited inside and even further along in this stage: may be invited to stay overnight.

Step five – The collar:
The final stage. By now the menial should already be integrated into my circle of trust, is comfortable with his/her station within my household, understands fully what is expected and what to expect. The journey to this point would have been quite a long one, as I said previously: “I do not give the collar lightly”. This final stage is not an easy decision (on my part or the menials). Should I decide to offer the menial the chance to be collared permanently, I would not expect an answer straight away. I would expect them to think on it for as long as they would like. At the end of the day, this is a choice, not a demand. This is their last choice, for once collared (even though their opinion may still sometimes be requested) their future choices will be mine to make. The menial becomes my responsibility as much as I become theirs. Everything the menial does or may do reflects upon the owner. If accepted, the menial will have a new permanent collar custom designed and made for them with an engraving stating that they are owned and who their owner is (this collar may be as discrete as a necklace, but will still be usable for active play), once placed and locked the collar will never be removed unless for a specific reason or for the freeing of the menial.

Summary:
After reading my process, no doubt some will look at it and think to themselves: “What a lot of work and effort”. If you look at this process and decide it is ‘too much’ effort, chances are: you are already not suitable. One needs to remember that most things with a lot of effort are worth it in the end.

Champagne.

“Every interaction is simple. Any Dominant/submissive relationship works in two directions. Both parties derive pleasure from having their fetishes and stations fulfilled. You derive pleasure from relinquishing control to a dominant female, I derive pleasure from the suffering of others.” I said as I warmed his rump with gentle smacks to get the blood flowing. “I will take control and you will have your desires quenched. However, in exchange, you will satisfy my desire by taking and accepting the pain. Do you understand?”

He paused hesitantly and was slightly shivering from nerves, he was still very new to everything despite the numerous talks I had given him on subjects of BDSM interest. Nothing compares to actual experience.

I stepped back to arms length and placed the tip of my cane gently on his behind.

“Yes Mistress.” He eventually answered.

“Do you remember the safe word?”

“Yes Mistress.”

“And what is the safe word?”

“Champagne, Mistress.”

“Good boy.” I said as I raised the cane back to a rather relaxed medium length and paused for effect to see how well the words I had said were sinking in. He closed his eyes and tensed his body just as the whistle from the cane cutting through the air was heard.

It was a good hit. It landed on the sweet spot that I always aim for.

“Champagne! Mistress! Champagne!”

I sighed and gently shook my head as he grit his teeth and jittered on the spot from the sensation of the half strength impact.

“Very disappointing.”