Equinelibrium.

Equinelibrium:

English (sort of… Ok, so I made it up).

Etymology:

From Latin equīnus (“of or pertaining to horses”) + lībra (“balance”).

Noun:

equinelibrium (plural equinelibriums or equinelibria)

  1. The psychological balance of a human, usually submissive, who has taken the role of a pony during ponyplay activities; this typically includes wearing tack such as a bridle and bit. Also known as ponyspace or pony headspace.

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Every now and then, I have a ponyplay session down in Kent at the DV8 Leisure center. I always make full use of the 53 acres of private and secluded woodland, and in the warm summer months; it is simply a beautiful place for outdoor BDSM activities.

Now that the sunshine is once again coming out to play, I will admit that; while I may not like the intense light, I am gleefully looking forward to more sunshine fueled ponyplay days.

In the June of last year I managed to get some wonderful photos of some outdoors ponyplay with a human pony that I named Earl Grey (love of tea methinks?), I think they are lovely photos and deserve to be seen, but he has been a little timid about his photos being placed on show and naturally I have been respecting his wishes and keeping them private. A recent email conversation with him has opened permissions to place a couple on my blog. So, a big “thank you” to Earl Grey for the photo use permissions. A blog post introducing ponyplay has been long overdue.

The day consisted of many different activities, from Dressage to Carriage riding. But the two photos you see below are simply images of me “breaking him in” and working a sweat up on him.

The whip was purely an incentive for him to keep moving and never actually struck his body. You would be surprised at how fast people can run when they hear the crack of a Longeing Whip a few inches behind their head.

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Earlgrey2

If I get the chance this year, I am thinking of a picnic basket filled with French cheeses, bread and a rich red wine; to enjoy after working (to the point of exhaustion) whatever beast(s) of burden are with me.

Oh, and more photos. Definitely more photos.

Photos used with permission.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

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Do unto others?

One of the things which I pride myself on is the fact that every BDSM activity that I partake in, everything that I inflict on others, is something that I have personally experienced the sensation of (with the exception of the obvious, e.g. penile sounding).

I have been canned, flogged, spanked, paddled, whipped, cut, electrocuted, tortured, skewered, burned, bloodied… The list is quite extensive.

My point is that, regardless of how sadistic I may be feeling at any given moment, I would never put anyone through something which I am not willing to go through myself (even briefly, just to see what it feels like).

In fact, it is through diverse experimentation like this that I have figured out that:

  • I have a sliver of masochism. However, I am not truly masochistic (I do not derive physical pleasure or relief from pain, however I do understand it and I do consider it a bit fun on occasion if the mood and setting is complimentary, e.g. Touching nipple to nipple when using a violet wand body contact pad with the setting turned on full so you have the effect of sparks or lightning passing between the nipples).
  • I am incredibly sadistic (I derive physical and intellectual pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on others. I have also discovered that part of what makes me better at inflicting pain is the fact that I study human anatomy/biology and that I personally experience and research each activity).
  • I am naturally and instinctively far more dominant than submissive (I am also in the firm belief, through years of sociological D/s experiences and encounters, that everyone has at least a little of both in them; despite some Dominants claiming that they are 100% “everyone on the planet should kneel before me” dominant).

Call it an ethical judgement or personal morality if you like, but my main question is: Why is it that I do not see or hear more peoples stories of experiencing things themselves before inflicting things on others? Has that Dominant in the corner of the club experienced what they are putting that submissive through? Or am I, yet again, part of the minority in that I practice what I preach and inflict?

Responses to this post would be greatly appreciated. I am incredibly curious to know of other peoples stories and opinions on this matter.

Swamping the market

The Chrismas and New Year has brought about a lot of resolutions (of a sort) for me and mine, some of which pertain to my little business: Kabunza.

Sunday 13th January brings with it the reopening of SWAMP (South West Alternative Market & Party) in Bristol, where I will be attending and hosting a Kabunza trade stand (sort of hosting, as I have no doubt I will wander off to socialise while my partner runs the stand for me).

This blog post is basically an invitation to come along and view our current wares as well as a little teaser for our latest creations:

As many of you will know, I have incredibly high standards; Ergo, when something is created for my business, it needs to be perfect.

The latest of our Kabunza products have been created with the Dominants in mind: Chainmail jewellery (which can have pendants etc added on request) to match the collars and restraints worn by their submissives or play partners.

While there are three materials from which we normally create our collars and cuffs (Stainless steel, Brass and Bronze), the most popular is what we call ‘302 stainless steel’. Using this material tends to make our BDSM creations extremely tough, ductile and corrosion resistant; Meaning you can lock on a collar and it will never need to come off, even in the bath or shower.

Recently we have acquired a softer form of stainless steel, and while it is still quite tough and still corrosion resistant, it would not stand up to some of the violent pressures that I would expect one of our BDSM creations to stand up to.

To this end we decided to create some jewellery sets for the discerning Dominant who would like a matching accessory to their play partners collar (or for someone who would just like to wear some really nice looking bling).

To date, we have only created 4 sets. However, if you have a specific type of chainmail weave in mind, feel free to contact me to enquire about having your own custom creation, or you can come along and browse our stall in Bristol on the 13th. I look forward to meeting people there.

You can view the Kabunza blog post, which details the 4 sets and has links to our online shop: Here.

Something beginning with ‘K’

Recently it has been quite a busy time for me and mine. We have attended about 6 events in the past two weeks, hence why there has been such a delay in blog posts.

One form of our play that has lately been taking a large portion of our attention is Kinbaku.

In this post I am going to explain a little about what we go through before, during and after play of this kind. I must stress that these opinions are based solely from our own perspective and experiences.

“Kinbaku, for me, is the only style of rope that is really close to my heart because it is not simply about tying pretty patterns. It is about awakening emotions, senses and arousal. With any other type of rope play; you can tie someone, but with Kinbaku, you must put your heart and soul into it. It’s emotion, it’s connection, it’s control, it’s sensual.” – Benjamin.

Stage 1: Preparation

Before any play can take place, a little preparation is required.

If suspension is going to be played with (which should by no means be done without experience and correct tuition); This equipment needs to be set up, ropes need to be neat and within accessible reach of the playspace (messy ropes can mean play is interrupted with entanglements) and EMT shears (safety scissors) need to be equally accessible.

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“Anybody can tie someone in rope, but the biggest responsibility is being able to tie safely. The ability to read your partners body and signals is paramount. Benjamin can read me so well because of our incredibly close bond, which is reinforced through our other forms of play, but when tying someone for the first time; communication is key.” – Aemilia Hawk.

An aesthetic setting or props (even something as simple as a blanket or mat on the floor) can help set the mood.

Stage 2: Stretching

Stretching is important. It loosens the muscles of the model and lessens the possibility of discomfort or fatigue while in bondage. While the model is stretching, the artist is often going through his/her mind what effects are desired or what is intended to be accomplished during the course of play.

“A healthy diet, a nimble body and a kinky mind is beneficial. A sliver of masochism helps substantially.” – Aemilia Hawk.

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Stage 3: Floor work

The floor work is essentially the start of actual play. Some people prefer a standing start, others prefer seated (of course, each can be utilised for specific or desired effect). The aim of floor work is basically to set the tone and flow of play. It can be violent and rough or soft and sensual depending on the moods and preferences of the play partners (choice of music, if any is used, tends to influence and effect play). This stage is often when all the bondage is applied and readied for suspension, however, sometimes the duration of play can be nothing but floor work and have no suspension at all.

“To me, the floor work is is very important, it is about the closeness, the touch, awakening my partners senses and the choice of how I am going to go about controlling the flow of play. It is building the foundations of the play ahead and even though I am in control, I am sensitive to and guided by Aemilia‘s reactions. It is not about the rope, but how I choose to use the rope. This part of play is what has truly made me fall in love with Kinbaku.” – Benjamin.

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“Personally, I like it rough.” – Aemilia Hawk.

Stage 4: Partial/Full suspension (optional)

If suspension is a desired effect, the rigging is then applied.

WARNING: Partial or full rope suspension should not be attempted without training or tuition and even with such things, it can still be dangerous. Possible injuries can include permanent nerve damage.

“As safety is a prime concern, please be aware that, like so many good things in life, there is always possibility of accidental injury. Rope suspension is undoubtedly edge play and should only be undertaken by those who are physically and mentally up to the challenge. Suspension is safe but not without risk, regardless of proficiency or experience, so is definitely RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) rather than entirely SSC (Safe Sane and Consensual). The more extreme suspensions require a high degree of fitness and often a reasonable pain threshold, so don’t imagine everyone can do what professional models make look easy!” – Bruce Esinem.

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Stage 5: Suspension transitioning (optional)

Some positions are more uncomfortable than others, every model is different and what some will find easy, others will find incredibly difficult. But regardless of the person, It is a good idea to keep the model moving and a bad idea to keep them suspended for lengthy periods of time. This may be as simple as spinning or gently swinging the model while in suspension or even changing (in part or in whole) the suspension itself.

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Stage 6: Back down to earth

If suspended, it is very important to bring the model back to the floor safely (untying the correct lines in sequence to ensure balance is maintained). Even when the main line is removed and there is no attachments to the suspension point, it is the artists responsibility to keep hold of the model until safely on the ground (light-headedness, euphoric emotions or sensory overload can cause the model to collapse easily).

The untying is just as important as the rest of the play. This is where the artist may decide to change the flow of play to opposite of what has been earlier.

“In my case, this point of play is often when I enjoy the more sensual and soft touch. For me, it is an unveiling of the skin beneath the ropes and I often add small touches to our play; like using the ends of the rope to caress or running the rope over sensitive erogenous zones while untying.” – Benjamin.

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Stage 7: Aftercare

Aftercare is important in any form of BDSM play. Rope bondage is painful (especially suspension), despite how easy a model can sometimes make it look. Aftercare can range from a soft and sensual embrace, applying skin creams to marked areas, gentle kisses and all kinds of affections shown. The list of possible aftercare is limitless and is often unique and personal between the play partners themselves. Aftercare should be just as significant as the play itself.

“I know Aemilia goes through a lot, emotionally and physically, during our rope play. The aftercare is an important way of showing my affection towards her. It is my way of saying thankyou.” – Benjamin.

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“I am not naturally a submissive person, but when the play is ending and I am recovering from the exertion and pain; and he warmly embraces me with a stubbly kiss on the neck, I just melt. I have no idea why. It is a unique sensation.” – Aemilia Hawk.

Or maybe, after all I have written here, it may just be a case of Benjamin having ‘Dirty old man’ syndrome and wanting to fondle me when I am lacking the ability to bite back.

He is nodding, so it must be true.

Photography by Raven Imaging.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: FAQ

Every day I receive phone calls, emails and messages asking me countless questions that all have a single and very simple answer.

Examples:

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Q. How much does it cost to have a professional play session?
A. Read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. What kind of things do you get up to in your dungeon?
A. Read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/short-stories/

Q. What is the minimum amount of time I can have for a play session?
A. Just read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. What kind of fetishes are you skilled in? Can you do…(insert selected fetish/kink here)
A. For crying out loud! Read my blog!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/booking-and-sessions/

Q. Can you teach me how to…(insert selected skill here)
A. Read. My. Blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/08/18/so-you-want-to-be-a-professional-dominatrix/

Q. What do you look like? Could I have a description of you?
A. How did you even manage to get my phone number or email if you had not visited my website or one of my numerous online profiles? All of which have galleries, just like here, ON MY BLOG!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/gallery/

Q. What do you mean when you call people ‘mundane’?
A. Mundane, in my case, often refers to the vanilla or boring. However, I am considering expanding it to include people who do not read my blog:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/mistresses-meanings/

Q. Do you have a webcam? / Do you do online domination?
A. What is it that is not being understood?:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/this-is-not-a-fallacy-i-am-online/

Q. Are you looking for a full time submissive?
A. Take your pick of blog posts:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/procuring-perminance/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/10/11/introductions-benjamin/

Q. When and where is your next public event?
A. READ THE DAMN BLOG!:
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/wheres-mistress/
or
https://aemiliahawk.wordpress.com/events/

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This blog post is, of course, completely superfluous as it will probably not be read by any of the ignoramuses who continue to ask these kinds of questions.

People need to make at least a little effort.

My Birthday: The MDS Halloween Extravaganza 2012

I have always placed a huge emphasis on birthdays. For me, they are the most important reason to celebrate (far more important than Christmas, Halloween or any other religious or fallacy event).

This year (in a kind of ‘last minute’ planning), I decided to visit the Marquis de Sade (MDS) Halloween Extravaganza event in Weston-super-mare to celebrate on my birthday (28th October).

Once the organisers realised that I was the owner of Kabunza Craftwerks and thanks to some very smooth talking by my Benjamin; it was requested that we host a trade stand at the event (despite the fact that all the trade stand slots had already been filled). How could I refuse?

My partner played host at the stand for the majority of the evening. Unfortunately, our stock was incredibly limited due to a lot of recent sales, but I think we managed to put together a decent enough little stall for people to browse through and we always have our order booklet at hand in case anyone wishes to order something specific to be created and posted to them after the event (any order taken at events are always sent to the purchaser postage free).
In case you are all wondering or in case you missed us at the event; You can visit our Kabunza Etsy shop, our Kabunza blog, Kabunza on Facebook or Kabunza on Fetlife by following the links here or in this blog’s side bar.

Also at the event (quite randomly and ‘out of the blue’), I was requested to put on a florentine style flogging demonstration; the Mistress who originally had agreed to do the demonstration was a little reluctant (which is a shame because I rarely get to see others do this style of flogging). It was incredibly unprepared, But again, how could I refuse?

By far, the highlight of the evening was when (unbeknownst to me) Benjamin had arranged for my birthday to be announced over the comm/tannoy and over 100 BDSM Dominants and submissives sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me whilst Benjamin brought out a surprise, candle lit, home made birthday cake.

The majority of the rest of the evening involved a little play with my Benjamin, social mingling and teaching numerous people how to florentine. All in all: A fantastic birthday.

Thankyou’s:

The organisers of MDS: for all their encouragement and flattery, for supplying the photography for this blog post and for allowing us a trade stand when there really was no more room.

My partner: for being there when she is not really into BDSM, for her continuing support and for hosting the Kabunza trade stand; which in turn allowed me to socialise at ease and enjoy my birthday.

My Benjamin: for arranging everything with the MDS organisers when I simply said “Do it”, for the much appreciated surprises, for taking every random beating that I dished out upon him during the course of the evening (all of which were carefully applied aftercare in the form of Savlon cream and cuddles on returning home) and for making my birthday a very special one indeed.

A Velvet Thought – Mistresses Musings: “Demandez, et l’on vous donnera.”

Translation: “Ask, and you shall receive.” (probably)

Anyone who actually takes the time to get to know me a little will probably tell you that I am far from prudish, that I am outgoing, that I am open minded and that I have a relatively pleasant demeanor despite being quite eccentric (I do try to quell most of my instincts when in polite society).

Once you get past the evil aura, teeth, claws, demonic nature, unholy eating habits, disgust of the mundane, and other small, often unnoticeable abominable characteristics; I am actually not so bad.

My point is: I am not adverse to hosting workshops or demos at events, I am not adverse to performing on stage, I am not adverse to doing fun BDSM/fetish orientated things for “good” causes or venues and I am definitely not adverse to giving play demonstrations or play tips to people who meet me and make an effort to talk/chat to me at events (just remember that I am often there with my own submissive and partner or for my own reasons, so do not believe this is an invitation to take up my entire evening). Indeed, I have done all of these things and more/others in the past.

There is simply a small price: You must swallow your fear or aversions, approach me, make an effort to talk to me and request it.

If you do not ask, if you do not make your hopes known to me, you will have no chance at all; because I will rarely, if ever, volunteer.