Dr Phil’s London Shibari Workshop

Benjamin and I have been on many Shibari and Kinbaku training courses over the past 9 months. We have had private tuition, attended workshops, demonstrations, performances and events or have even simply met and managed to discuss rope one-on-one with Riggers and Rope Models who have dedicated their lives to it and are simply amazing at what they do. Names like Bruce Esinem, Nina Russ, Gorgone, Kasami Ranki, Vinciens, Kirigami and Peter Slemrian to name but a few. However, I always seem to avoid going into depth about our experiences with them as it is often simply training or technical discussion; which can sometimes come across as tedious for those not interested in that particular subject or too much of a single type of study (Which is not always the best thing to fill up a blog as diverse as mine with; I prefer to mix in as many different aspects of my BDSM practices that I can).

I hope to change things and add a little more to my blog in the way of personal and lifestyle experiences. It has been suggested that I should write more; Ergo, I shall!

Dr Phil’s London Shibari Workshop:

Dr Phil is a French Rigger who has had a passion for bondage since the age of 24. Benjamin seemed eager to attend the rare opportunity of a rope workshop in London hosted by him at Chez Esinem, and we jumped at the chance when a couple of our friends announced that they would want to go along with us.

The class was quite small, consisting of only 5 Riggers and 4 Models (not including Dr Phil and his Model), so it allowed for discussion and getting to know people, which is always a bonus, and primarily concentrated on styles that we were already relatively familiar with (it is great when you understand the basics to begin with, it helps in noticing each Riggers individual and often subtle variations) but also included a little of the aesthetic and non suspension ties. The only harness that we remembered to take a photo of was a very pretty (non-suspension) version of Hojōjutsu.

The latticework between the shoulders makes a great ‘handle’ for controlling your play partner.

Also joining us at the workshop was well known artist and frequent addition to BOUND: Isobel Williams, Who sat on the sidelines during the ‘throwing of string’ and sketched, inked or painted away. You can see some of her rendition of the day on her blog at: http://boulevardisme.blogspot.co.uk

It turned out to be both a fun and informative day. One I would gladly repeat.

Exodus UK ‘Fire Poi’ photoshoot 01/12/12

After a wonderful weekend of 2 events, BOUND rope jam in London followed by the Exodus UK 2 year anniversary party in Birmingham, Benjamin and I have returned exhausted but elated from the experience.

As luck would have it; Raven Imaging photography was in attendance at the Exodus UK anniversary and after having such lovely images taken by them back in the October photoshoot, we decided another run of photos would be a prudent thing to do.

I managed to pick up my fire poi once again for more practice and Benjamin did his first public rope suspension (a very comfortable one I must add. It is very unfortunate that due to technical trivialities, we could not get any photos taken of this play).

Of course, this time around, given what I have lately been training and practicing in, the images that we did get mandatorily included fire.

Enjoy.

    

Of course, the weekend would not have been complete without an image of me and mine.

Photography by Raven Imaging.
All images are Copyright © 2012 AemiliaHawk. All Rights Reserved.

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.

Great balls of fire.

Despite the title of this blog, this post has nothing to do with Jerry Lee Lewis’ famous 1957 hit and it is lacking balls of any kind (unless used in the slang term, in which case, to do any of my aspirations written in this blog, I will need a lot of ‘balls’), But it has a lot to do with fire. I shall explain:

To date, my blog posts have always centered around what I have done, currently doing, thoughts, fetishes or events. I have never really expressed what I desire to learn, discover and acquire (BDSM or alternative skill set wise) in the hopefully not so distant future.

I have always loved bullwhips, unfortunately the only 8ft bullwhip that I owned was lost to thievery about 8 months ago and it has been too expensive an item to replace given current monetary circumstance (they are not cheap). But aside from trying to reacquire a new 8-10ft kangaroo hide bullwhip (my preferred length), the thought of learning firewhips has always appealed to me. I already have the knowledge of how to use single tail whips, so firewhips seem like the next logical step (that and the fact that fire has always fascinated me). Dual 5-6ft single tails (specially designed for fire play) would probably be perfect and preferred for self training (plus a handy fire extinguisher, just in case, and a submissive who would get a kick out of foaming a Mistress without repercussion if something unintended caught on fire).

 

 

Being incredibly extroverted by nature, you can see why this would be an interest of mine. However, this is not the only form of fire play that I have intentions of eventually learning.

Body angle grinding has also always been a fascination of mine. In this subject I have no experience at all, but like I said, this blog post is about things I eventually hope to learn and do.

 

 

No doubt, the exploration and research of this activity would be an extremely delicate process (999 on speed dial for training in this methinks). Equipment (consisting of a custom reinforced metal plated bikini and an angle grinder) needed, which is also quite costly.

So, as you can see, I do have aspirations. Whether or not any of them come to fruition, only time will tell.