Compassionate? Me?

This will be my fifth blogger award nomination. Previous nominations have included:

1. The Reader Appreciation Award. (Sunflowers… I am glad I can only be nominated once.)
2. The Beautiful Blogger Award. (I feel pretty, oh so pretty!)
3. The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. (Naturally.)
4. The META Awesomest Blog Unicorn Award. (Sparkly pink, I kid you not. Still not over that one.)

This time I have been nominated for the Compassionate Communicator award by Quantumphysica and while I am metaphorically ‘over the moon’ to be nominated, I must say: “Compassionate? Moi? Disgraceful slander I tell you!”

Guidelines…

1. That in awarding it to a blogger you simply link it to one of their blog posts which you feel has personally benefited you in some way (See below).
2. You give a brief explanation of why you feel it benefited you (See below).
3. On accepting the award you link back to and thank the person who awarded it to you (Done).

So, without further ado, to the links and reasoning:

• The Kinky Life of Bowz: A very cute but informative blog written from the perspective of a 23 year old submissive masochist female by the name of ‘Bowz’. Personally, I love it when someone gets into BDSM at such a young age and I think it is excellent how she mixes up good, solid BDSM advice with her own budding exploration and experiences. While her blog is packed with excellent opinions and information, my personal favorite of the posts she has written is about how she believes she is experiencing ‘Anti-brainwashing’: http://bigpinkbowz.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/help-help-im-going-through-anti-brainwashing/
• Deviant Wench: Written by a married submissive feminist, her blog is filled with stories and opinions on the kinky things she gets up to. Whenever I need a smile on my face, this is the blog I go to. She always makes me laugh; The latest post of hers which made me giggle can be found at: http://deviantwench.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/and-you-may-ask-yourself-well-how-did-i-get-here/
• Pet Etiquette: A mixture of both vamp and BDSM topics with a nice concoction of shorts, poetry and views. Interesting reading when I manage to spot her new posts. Naturally, despite the post being so short, my favorite of hers is when she mentioned me: http://petetiquette.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/not-bad-i-say/
• We’re all mad in here: Written by the very lady who nominated me for this award. A blend of pretty much everything goes into her blog; From Etsy.com shop suggestions and letters to her psychiatrist, to poetry and stories about the events in her life (Some BDSM orientated). Every single post is interesting. Every single post will make you think or spark on emotion. I cannot list a favorite because there is so many, so I will just link to her main page and let you all see for yourselves: http://wereallmadinhere.wordpress.com/

Happy reading.

 

 

So, you want to be a professional Dominatrix?

I receive regular emails and messages asking me questions on how to go about becoming a professional Dominatrix and I do offer training sessions in my dungeon (phone me for details if you have a specific training in mind). However, there are a certain number of base truths that anyone who aspires to get into this kind of business should know.

1. This kind of work takes a specific type of mindset and a certain mentality. It is not the kind of thing for the faint of heart and it is not just about wearing some fetish clothing or sounding bossy. Clients will know if you are less than genuine. In my opinion, a decent intellect and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is mandatory, and if you are not naturally dominant or you do not already have an interest in fetish, kink or sadomasochism, then I would highly recommend you give it up as a bad idea before you make yourself look incredibly stupid.
2. It is not easy work. This job can be very draining emotionally, mentally and physically. I am certain that from the observers point of view, this kind of lifestyle can look incredibly glamorous, fun and exciting. Those who are successful tend to make it look easy. But there is a lot of work to be done both in and out of the dungeon before sessions can take place. Profiles, websites, updates, advertisements, photo shoots, constant correspondence 24/7 with both potential clients and time wasters, references to check, set up before and clean up after each session, travel and any specific arrangements that need to be made beforehand. To say it can get stressful is an understatement.
3. You get out of it what you put into it. You are directly responsible for any success or failure that you achieve. The energy and money that I invest in developing my business, equipment or skills, directly reflects my success and earnings. Quality brings longevity, knowledge brings respect, investment brings potential and all are required to bring profit. You will also find that this business is very seasonal or fickle. Certain times of the year can be incredibly busy whereas at other times you may not spank a single bottom for weeks. It is a very true barometer of the economy; when the economy is healthy, people feel that they can spend on the luxuries, when the economy is slow, the mortgage is more important than tribute for a Mistress.
4. You may meet mentally questionable people in this lifestyle and business. Most tend to be very respectful and intelligent, however, you do get a few who look to abuse and take advantage (some are prone to violence). You learn to identify these people fairly quickly, but you must keep your wits in this kind of business and be able to handle yourself both verbally and physically. A lacking in self-confidence or being emotionally sensitive will mean this kind of work will bring you nothing but mental anguish.
5. This kind of profession can be very hard on relationships. Family, friends or partners; not everyone will agree with your choice of work or lifestyle. This is one of the reasons why the mundane are called mundane, they will never understand. The best you can hope for is that they simply accept. Many people will make assumptions, often negative, about you, your motives or your character. I have also noticed that despite being a lifestyle Dominatrix, even other members of the BDSM scene may take an active dislike to a professional practitioner of BDSM.

These basics by no means cover everything and I am sure other professionals will have different views. They are just a few personal observations which I have learned in my years as a lifestyle Dominatrix as well as my years in the professional business and I am simply relaying to those who have been seeking my advice or to any who may seek it in the future.

I would not recommend seeking advice on practicing professional BDSM from anyone other than those who have experience practicing professional BDSM (you may be able to learn skills from those who frequent the BDSM scene, but you will not learn the finer details of how to run your business from anyone other than those who have hands on knowledge, no pun intended).

It is unlikely that this will be my last ‘advice post’. Some of my previous blog posts which have been written with the intention of giving help advice to the aspiring professional Dominatrix include:

Preventing “bounce”

Tipping the hourglass

My only hope is that this helps people to decide and accept the consequences of their own life choices.